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Help with a woman issue

Old 03-23-2019, 02:17 PM
  #41  
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Originally Posted by bikem View Post
I moved three years ago from a home I lived in and raised my kids in for 22 years. I never even had a key to the house during that time. The back door was always left unlocked. Tell her your worried about her safety but keep in mind you are asking the most paranoid group of men on the net. Most live in Florida with the crazies, are packing and trigger happy. 😁
I grew up in an environment like that. We would go away for the weekend and leave the back door open. But I also have to say there wasn't a whole lot to steal.

But times have changed.
I now live in what I think is a pretty nice development. A couple years ago a guy was walking through some backyards. He said he was looking for a dog. A neighbor confronted him and told him to leave. Another neighbor was watching this and then watched the guy check car doors in driveways, then jump a fence at another house. Within minutes he was in and loading up stuff on the back porch. I watched the cops nail him. This was 4 in the afternoon.

During another time a retired couple was working in the back yard. Garage door open. Someone walked in and got their jewelry.


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Old 03-23-2019, 02:21 PM
  #42  
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Fake a robbery
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Old 03-23-2019, 05:36 PM
  #43  
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Old 03-24-2019, 03:36 AM
  #44  
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Originally Posted by Graddy-fied View Post
My wife is great. Smart, pretty, great mom, etc... BUT, the concept of home security is lost on her. Never ever closes the garage door. Never ever locks doors before leaving the house. I travel a good bit and I honestly worry for the safely of my family and my fishing stuff - all of which is in my wide-open garage.

When I bring this up I get responses like “I’ll remember to lock the doors when you remember to do the laundry.” That’s not realistic. What are my options?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^

Your answer is already stated. If you love your wife, be the leader in your home and do the laundry - WITHOUT complaining, with a smile on your face, at every opportunity.

EVENTUALLY a question from her will surface. Perhaps: "What's up with you doing laundry all of a sudden?" You reply, (with an innocent look on your face): "honey (or whatever you are comfortable with here), you said you wanted me to do the laundry, yes?" So I am doing the laundry. NO FURTHER COMMENT. Continue doing the laundry - welcome to your new job. In the meantime continue locking the garage, etc,. The topic will come up again, trust me. Something like: WHO PUT THIS IN THE DRYER??????? That is YOUR teachable moment. Have her teach YOU. Then after this is done, that is YOUR teachable moment back.

Use the moment wisely.
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Old 03-24-2019, 07:49 AM
  #45  
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Get that system that controls your home from a distance.
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Old 03-24-2019, 07:55 AM
  #46  
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Have you sat down and told her how important this is to you and how much you worry about it? If you haven't do so. If you have -- and she still won't work with you... then... well...

I guess have a throw-down screaming match until she complies? I dunno. Seems crazy to me.

I pick my battles... but if my wife didn't think it was important to secure things when unattended that would be a problem. I have enough to worry about with thing beyond my control -- definitely don't need avoidable problems.
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Old 03-24-2019, 08:17 AM
  #47  
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A couple of others have it on it, but there may be something else going on here. Ask her parents if she grew up leaving the house unsecured. If so, you know it is just a lifetime habit. If not, she may be passively trying to get a message to you. Maybe she thinks you fish too much, leaving her at home to do the chores or watch the children. Leaving things (your fishing gear) unsecured could be her way of saying that she thinks it is more important to you than she is. If this is the case, I would seriously recommend some short term marriage counseling.

In the past I neglected my family because I spent too much time hunting before I realized what I was doing. I've seen quite a few divorces and/or affairs happen because the guy was too interested in fishing/hunting/golf/triathlon. I'm not saying that that is the case here, but it is worth asking yourself if that is the problem.
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Old 03-24-2019, 08:45 AM
  #48  
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Originally Posted by Graddy-fied View Post
My wife is great. Smart, pretty, great mom, etc... BUT, the concept of home security is lost on her. Never ever closes the garage door. Never ever locks doors before leaving the house. I travel a good bit and I honestly worry for the safely of my family and my fishing stuff - all of which is in my wide-open garage.

When I bring this up I get responses like “I’ll remember to lock the doors when you remember to do the laundry.” That’s not realistic. What are my options?

What you fail to realize is, the fault is yours, and actually that is to your credit.

I live in a world where one of man's principal responsibilities is to provide a safe, secure and nurturing environment to keep his offspring and his woman. With that as a belief you should come to realize you have provided her an environment to where she doesn't question the sanctuary that you have provided. Understand the insecurities and paranoia you feel are yours and only yours .......and yours to deal with. Dating back to the meanderthal days man has always coveted his woman, well your defensive and protective instincts are alarming you of you have a chink in your cocoon.

You're fortunate, in this day and age you can buy just about any smart equipment to heighten the security of her sanctuary and relieve some of the stresses you are currently experiencing. Now do as you must on your behalf to continue her freedom of concern within the dwelling you (the two of you) have created.
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Old 03-24-2019, 08:56 AM
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Guess I’d better call around and see who has a key to our house, I dont!
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Old 03-24-2019, 09:02 AM
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Wife is slick.
She’s probably hoping stuff gets stolen so she can get the newest & greatest on the market.

Never under estimate your opponent.
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Old 03-24-2019, 11:25 AM
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I am going to throw something out here to consider...probably not a popular one but speaking from personal experience with a very similar situation.
Look up Adult ADHD and see if any other behaviors ring a bell. It’s for real and diagnosis and treatment involving checklists and habits, that turn into normal practice, can make a big difference. My wife will actually go to bed now and let me lock up the house knowing the back door won’t be wide open in the morning after letting the dogs out. 👍😁
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Old 03-24-2019, 11:37 AM
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For a couple hundred bucks you can close and lock every door in your house from your phone.

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Old 03-24-2019, 11:43 AM
  #53  
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If this REALLY about you doing laundry then the answer is simple. Put her favorite blouse in the wash
with hot water. Then into the drier set at HIGHEST heat possible. When it comes out too small
to fit a Barbie doll,.....Problem solved.

But it's not about the laundry, and you know it.
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Old 03-24-2019, 12:10 PM
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First of all stay on topic. Locking the doors has nothing to do with the laundry - laundry is a separate topic. Tell her that you are concerned about her safety and that of your family. Home invasions can occur in any neighborhood. Let her know that it's not just your stuff, or her jewelry that you're worried about. Burglars may take/damage some stuff; but if she's home when someone breaks in she could wind up beaten, raped, or murdered. Oh, and don't forget t he kids either. After she gets pretty good at closing the garage door, then work on her keeping her car locked since it probably lives on the driveway (not in the garage) and has the garage door opener in the glove box or maybe even in open sight.Good luck!
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Old 03-24-2019, 12:22 PM
  #55  
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Just give us your address and what kinda fishing stuff u have, need date of next trip lol
unfortunately it took someone getting in my wife’s unlocked car to get her to start locking it. We have video cams—Pics of a shirtless, greasy Kurt Hammill look alike tossing her Range Rover got her attn.
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Old 03-24-2019, 12:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Walleye Guy View Post
Wow. Absolutely no offense to your wife but I have to wonder what is going through her mind about simply locking the doors and closing the garage when she leaves home. It's not only her life at risk, it's your children's wellbeing too.

I traveled for a living too Graddy. Every evening I talked to my wife and ran down the list (garaged closed, door locked, etc.).

I like the idea of the app for the garage door. I'm wondering about those push button locks for the entry doors (combination of numbers would be needed to open the door from the outside). Do they lock automatically when the door is closed? If so, that might be another solution although she'd have to close the door behind her.

I think you need to have a serious sit down with her and perhaps have a LEO there to tell her the facts about home break ins and the potential danger she might be creating. Good luck.

If his wife is like people I know, it's not about locking up when you leave....it's about leaving everything open and unlocked when you come home. Most are smart enough to lock up when they leave, but have a false sense of security when they are home. happened to a good friend of mine I ride bikes with, he was constantly on his wife about shutting the garage the she came home in the afternoon. Her response was always the same "it's not big deal, we live in a safe neighborhood and the dog will bark if anyone comes in". It was all good until someone driving by stopped in and helped themselves to $15,000 dollars worth of bicycles in a wide open garage. She had no clue and was not pleased when replacing missing bicycles took the place of a vacation.
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Old 03-24-2019, 04:04 PM
  #57  
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Originally Posted by Graddy-fied View Post
My wife is great. Smart, pretty, great mom, etc... BUT, the concept of home security is lost on her. Never ever closes the garage door. Never ever locks doors before leaving the house. I travel a good bit and I honestly worry for the safely of my family and my fishing stuff - all of which is in my wide-open garage.

When I bring this up I get responses like “I’ll remember to lock the doors when you remember to do the laundry.” That’s not realistic. What are my options?
Her statement has some merit. You both feel like those options (her the garage and you the laundry) are unrealistic.
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Old 03-24-2019, 04:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Smitty_81 View Post
Make everything smart and close the garage and lock the doors from your phone while away
Bingo
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Old 03-24-2019, 06:52 PM
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Get her to start watching WE "woman's entertainment channel" It is 24 hours a day of Men doing Women wrong. She will be paranoid in a month.
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