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Advice for anyone moving to Florida

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Advice for anyone moving to Florida

Old 02-26-2019, 05:29 PM
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Default Advice for anyone moving to Florida

ADVICE FOR ANYONE MOVING TO FLORIDA:

1. Save all bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
3. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
4. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the humidity". And the collateral phrase "You call this hot? Wait'll August."
5. Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.
6. If you think it's too hot, don't worry. It'll cool down-in December.
7. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol, a Chevy, Dodge, or Ford is.
8. If someone says they're "fixin" to do something, that doesn't mean anything's broken.
9. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but the availability of shade.
10. BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hot dogs outdoors.
11. Everything is better with Ranch dressing.
12. DO NOT honk your horn at us to be obnoxious, we will sit there until we die.
13. We pull over and stop for emergency vehicles to pass.
14. We pull over for funeral processions, turn our music off and men remove hats or caps. Some people put their hand over their heart.
15. "Bless your Heart" is a nice way of saying you're an idiot.
16. No mater what kind : sprite, coke, pepsi, mtn dew, it is called SODA not COKE or POP Also no matter where we go SWEET TEA will also be first choice.
17. If there’s an accident on the road, don’t slow down to take a picture, keep on going
18. If you don't like the weather in Florida, wait 15 minutes, it will change.
19. Be sure to have your passport on hand and ready should you go south of Fort Pierce

*
Old 02-26-2019, 05:33 PM
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What part of Florida are you talking about? Certainly not the Peninsula.
Old 02-26-2019, 05:35 PM
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I thought Florida was full?
Old 02-26-2019, 05:40 PM
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I thought Florida was just assholes from NY & NJ now? Saw it on another thread.
Old 02-26-2019, 05:41 PM
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Sadly where I live "old" Florida is dead. But that stuff can still be found in the interior regions of the state north of I-4
Old 02-26-2019, 05:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Boat Hound View Post
I thought Florida was just assholes from NY & NJ now? Saw it on another thread.
see my above post
Old 02-26-2019, 06:06 PM
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20. 80% of males 18 or above have a firearm in their possession or vehicle
Old 02-26-2019, 06:08 PM
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Originally Posted by jets View Post
20. 80% of males 18 or above have a firearm in their possession or vehicle
Mine isnt for killing people, you never know when you will come across a ferrel hog....
Old 02-26-2019, 06:14 PM
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You're giving advice as if moving to Florida means moving to the South.
Old 02-26-2019, 06:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Drako View Post
You're giving advice as if moving to Florida means moving to the South.

Yep. There are small parts of Florida where this post makes sense but most of the state has been lost.
Old 02-26-2019, 06:26 PM
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Originally Posted by r_ventura_23 View Post
I thought Florida was full?
Nope you must have Florida mistaken with Texas. We’re all full here.
Old 02-26-2019, 07:20 PM
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spot on
Old 02-26-2019, 07:27 PM
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There is only one place that list applies in Florida, it's about 0-50 feet south of Georgia. We need a wall.
Old 02-26-2019, 07:37 PM
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I am native Floridian. Born and raised and spent 40 years there. I saw two things on your list which need tweaking. As kids everything was a coke. If it's sprite we asked mom for a coke or if was drm pepper, we said coke.

The saying is...We don't care how you did it up north. We did not mince words. We were specific.
Old 02-26-2019, 07:50 PM
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Hold on there BA, we only let you winter down here because you bring cash. As far as I can tell you is still a damn yankee. Lots a posts about cheap vodkas but never one about good grits recepies or smoked mullet.If you want to identify as a Southerner put in your application and get to the back of the line.We'll get back to you in about 50 years or so.....bless your heart.
Old 02-26-2019, 08:06 PM
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Not much to look at maybe, but my buildings are over 100 years old including the two tiny fishing shacks on the left and right. Waterfront in prime location in an old neighborhood that refuses to come out of the 19th century. Old real Florida isn't always pretty, but it is real.
Old 02-26-2019, 08:10 PM
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Don’t complain about where you are from then come down here and vote the same way you did up thefe
Old 02-26-2019, 08:36 PM
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The pool's full.Try Alabama.
Old 02-26-2019, 08:57 PM
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Originally Posted by txaggie25 View Post

Nope you must have Florida mistaken with Texas. We’re all full here.
Hogwash. Texas is a huge state with plenty of open land. Tons of room for people that want to move out of the Northeastern cold and snow. For years now, I've been telling anyone that visits here that Texas is the place to be.

Old 02-26-2019, 09:15 PM
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Originally Posted by GaryDoug View Post

Not much to look at maybe, but my buildings are over 100 years old including the two tiny fishing shacks on the left and right. Waterfront in prime location in an old neighborhood that refuses to come out of the 19th century. Old real Florida isn't always pretty, but it is real.
that property looks pretty to me.
very nice sir.

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