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15yr old boy 12yr old girl.. what to do

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15yr old boy 12yr old girl.. what to do

Old 02-12-2019, 03:03 PM
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Having raised 4 daughters (also have a son... the oldest), two of which are 'step' daughters (ages 18 still at home and 21 on her own with some "help") I can certainly feel for you OP and your predicament.

Other than get with the DA's Office sooner than later, the only advice I can offer you at this point is to keep talking with her. What I have learned over many years, is that just because they act like they aren't listening or won't listen to you... or roll their eyes or give you pissy looks and comments, doesn't mean they aren't pondering what you're laying down even after you've left the room.

Continue to show in your words and your actions that you love them and are only trying to look out for them and their mother, and that her attempts to derail that are futile. Tell her many times a day that you love her and only want the best for her, and that sometimes that means being opposite of her ideas on the matter (a.k.a 15 yr. old)... but no matter what you will ALWAYS be there for her, now... tomorrow... next month... 5 years from now.

No guarantees that all or even some of that will sink in, but chances are it will. Did with mine.

Don't give up.

Good luck!
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Old 02-12-2019, 03:11 PM
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It’s a sad state of event. Wow, I could wrap my mind around a 15 year old and an 18 year old. But 12 is absurd, the only thing I can think of is this is happening all over the country. Society doesn’t want 15 year olds having to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life because his brain is still in development. Still there should be a consiquence because she’s 12.
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Old 02-12-2019, 03:16 PM
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That's a tough age, everything is "literally the end of the world" Be very very careful, this exact situation has been known to go very badly for parents. There are so many texting apps, chat apps, even like playstation chat i'm sure some online games still have chatrooms. never underestimate kids in "love" they fall hard and fast. It would be very easy to communicate in a stealth manner that you'll never be able to find out about. I don't have the solution but make sure you take extra safety precautions.
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Old 02-12-2019, 03:18 PM
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Legal means have NOT been exhausted. there's a difference between the cops NOT doing anything vs being unable to do anything. Plenty of laws were broken, but it's up to the DA on whether or not they wish to prosecute.

I'd try to get a TRO first. I doubt they would refuse if you clearly stated in writing that a 12 year old's life is in danger from an unstable predator. They may not want to prosecute, but they also don't want the fallout if anything ever happens and they are on record denying a TRO. If the kid violates the TRO, you now have a stronger legal leg to stand on.

They try to stay out of situations like this, but when pushed, they will respond. You can also reach out to a child advocate.
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Old 02-12-2019, 04:41 PM
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Looks like getting a TRO may be the best option. Although preliminary research indicates that you first need a police report. Not sure they will grant us a police report considering our previous communication with the local PD. Will look into it.
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Old 02-12-2019, 07:25 PM
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There is at least one unfortunate precedent: Shakespeare's "Juliett" is just 13. Of course that did end badly, but not because of her age.
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Old 02-12-2019, 08:09 PM
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#1 Romeo and Juliet was a Play, fake, not real life.

#2 Where on earth is it okay for a 10th grade boy to be in a relationship with a 7th grade girl? The answer is no-where.

I would almost consider pulling her from school and all social activities till she gets her head on straight. If they were actually doing the deed I'd be sending her to a counselor to talk about her underlying issues, as another poster said, the problem isn't just the boy, something inside the girls mind has gone wrong (at this point who knows where the internet has misled her) and she needs help from a trained professional to get back on the right path. Sounds next to impossible....but can be done.

Last edited by thajeffski; 02-12-2019 at 08:29 PM.
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Old 02-12-2019, 08:16 PM
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You, my friend, have NO sense of humor, but I suspect you already know that ;-)
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Old 02-12-2019, 08:17 PM
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Originally Posted by GaryDoug View Post
You, my friend, have NO sense of humor, but I suspect you already know that ;-)

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Old 02-12-2019, 08:26 PM
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Might be better that your judged by 12 then seeing her carried by 6
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Old 02-12-2019, 08:32 PM
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First let me thank God I had boys.
I know there are laws about Adults having relationships with minors,And something about minors being 16 yo or older they can’t do anything . But 12 yo I think is a totally different situation that needs to be addressed .Like getting an unremovable sexual relationship with a minor charge.
Stick a baby monitor outside your daughters room . You will hear this kid if he gets close .
I would looking to give him a field Vasectomy right there .
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Old 02-12-2019, 08:48 PM
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Asap father of a 9 year old girl, I can't wrap my head around being 3 years from these kinds of problems. You sound like you have down what you can. I'm not sure this is something that can really be controlled 100%. I've always thought when the time comes to explain how important my little girl is to me to some young jack ass, the best setting would be about 50 miles offshore on a flat calm day, engine off, you get the idea....
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Old 02-13-2019, 02:45 AM
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Originally Posted by whorrall View Post
I get it. But if I was in OPs shoes, I would not be in a joking mood,
You could be in the op's shoes if you were running behind him and picked them up. Be careful, I suspect you are not as fast as the 15yo.

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