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15yr old boy 12yr old girl.. what to do

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15yr old boy 12yr old girl.. what to do

Old 02-11-2019, 02:51 PM
  #41  
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Originally Posted by whorrall View Post
I get it. But if I was in OPs shoes, I would not be in a joking mood, and might take it seriously. You see on movies and TV where the hero beats someone up or shoots someone and everything is fine after that. That ain't real life.

Source: years ago a guy was fooling around with my wife. Punched him in the face. Went to jail.
No offense but, when my GF cheated on me I punched her, the guy was innocent, he only knew what she told him, she was the guilty party. Gotta be careful who you punish.
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:00 PM
  #42  
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Originally Posted by burningdaylight View Post
Whew....

At least this is in Tennessee. Us Floridians are getting tired of all the crazy shit happening here.
And, in Tennessee, be thankful it's not her first cousin.

Sorry, couldn't resist.....
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:01 PM
  #43  
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Originally Posted by YFMF View Post
No offense but, when my GF cheated on me I punched her, the guy was innocent, he only knew what she told him, she was the guilty party. Gotta be careful who you punish.
1) never hit a woman. Sure fire way to land in jail.

2) agree with the 2nd part completely, unless it’s a friend or something. Had a guy show up at my work ready to kick my ass the week I got married for screwing his wife. It was a co-worker, who had no clue she was married. Funny part was he was a customer, but nobody knew his name, just the name of his company. My boss shows up at his house (his business address) the next day in a truck with company logos to deliver some training cards. He thought it was the dude banging his wife pulling up and met him on the porch wearing his boxers toting a shotgun.
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:10 PM
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While Tennessee does have something called a "Romeo and Juliet" clause in their law, please try the group below as they can give you legal avenues.

Contact Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) for online help and local resources.

Good luck.
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:12 PM
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I raised 2 boys and lucked out when my wild, youngest screwed up at 16 and survived. Luckily for him and us it changed him. I know girls are way harder then boys to raise, good luck, but realistically speaking she'll have to crash and burn to learn anything. Get an IUD in her stat.
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:18 PM
  #46  
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The cops are lazy, ignorant, or both. There's a laundry list of things that can be done. Being a "minor" does not alleviate one from obeying the law.

Trespassing, attempted burglary, stalking, driving without a license, grand theft, loitering/prowling.
Also, at least in Florida, there are probably some lewd and lascivious and or unlawful sexual activity with a minor charges. They change often and it's been a awhile.

A decent cop would visit mom and child, run down the list of possible charges, and inform him the next time the boy leaves with him in the back if the car.

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Old 02-11-2019, 03:22 PM
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Originally Posted by autobaun70 View Post


1) never hit a woman. Sure fire way to land in jail.

2) agree with the 2nd part completely, unless it’s a friend or something. Had a guy show up at my work ready to kick my ass the week I got married for screwing his wife. It was a co-worker, who had no clue she was married. Funny part was he was a customer, but nobody knew his name, just the name of his company. My boss shows up at his house (his business address) the next day in a truck with company logos to deliver some training cards. He thought it was the dude banging his wife pulling up and met him on the porch wearing his boxers toting a shotgun.
No offense taken, but I agree never hit a woman. In fact I would go with never hit anyone, Male or female, unless absolutely necessary, like if they're attacking you or your family. You may have a fantasy about your fists solving problems and showing everyone who is right. I assure you this is a fantasy that won't play out well in real life.
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:22 PM
  #48  
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Originally Posted by Diverboy View Post
Let's just assume they were cuddling and there was no sex involved....let's keep this conversation about how to prevent your 12 yo daughter from having contact with a 15 yo boy. Could be the other way around as well, could be a 15 yo cougar trying to sneak into your 12 yo sons room...point is, what steps do you take and how do you prevent contact between them?

BTW, I'm in the camp of get her on birth control immediately.
With all due respect, this is a 15 year old, out of control man/boy, that stole his moms car and drove it an hour to sneak into a 12 year old child's bedroom. He's not going there to cuddle!

This is a sexual assault on a child and if the cops say they can't do any they are full of shit!
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:23 PM
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I did not read anyone's reply until I finished my post. I can however tell you that you are traveling down my exact road! My stepdaughter was two when I married her mother. At 15, this same thing happened. Go over to a TRUSTED friends house who I knew the dad! I had no idea there was an older brother that didn't live there..like 24yo!! I did the door removal, the phone removal and everything you stated! Fast forward...he finally is in jail on drug charges, she is in a halfway house and us...we adopted our FOUR grandchildren!! It's hard to deal with stepdaughters when I think deep down they resent you not being the real dad and even blame you for it! I feel for you but the harder you push against it, the harder they will defy you. Have her checked at the doc and see if it's too late. The Volusia county nor state attorney would not take the case even after we had a sherif in our home doing a recorded phone call! The law SUCKS in Florida for this! Any of you keyboard warriors wanna call bullshit on the law not helping, you are welcome to come and read all of our reports!
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Last edited by Vantaredoc; 02-11-2019 at 04:11 PM.
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:26 PM
  #50  
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A few of these hidden on the ground by her window should do.

https://www.sportsmansguide.com/prod...IaAml5EALw_wcB
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:31 PM
  #51  
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Originally Posted by txj33p View Post
First, tie your damn shoes tighter!
Do you really think an old man can catch a 15 year old boy running for his life?
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:37 PM
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Tennessee statutory rape law is violated when a person has consensual sexual intercourse with an individual under age 18. A close in age exemption allows teens ages 13-18 to consent to partners less than 4 years older. Punishments differ depending on the ages of victim and offender.

the above is Tennessee statutory rape law. I would find out exactly what the contact was between the two. Since she is under 13, the close in age exemption does not apply. If there was indeed (hopefully not) sexual contact, you may be able to formally prosecute. If not, he was at least trespassing and attempting to break and enter. I would proceed toward a restraining order immediately and not take no for an answer.
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:38 PM
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Does the 12 year old understand, I mean REALLY understand why you don't want her around this boy? Children tend to act the way you treat them - I've learned this the hard way.

Lots of different ways you can play this. If you can't rationalize with the 12 year old, you need to talk with the boy. For me... with my kids... my POV is that I have nothing to loose that I won't exchange for their well-being. That puts me in a near psychotic advantage because there is no level of fear. If the 15 year old feels that I value the benefit of my 12 year old more than I value his life or my own, the 15 year old will go find a 12 year old that, sadly, doesn't have the same advantage. Get that 12 year old into some activities and fill her life with joy an accomplishment. Yes, at 12, the hormones are going bonkers... but there are ways to work through all of that in a sensible way. A 15 year old boy isn't it. IMHO.
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:40 PM
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Maybe this is not the best place to go for advice. But the police say there is nothing that can legally be done. I know for sure that there are plenty of lawyers and PO's that frequent this forum. Figured they might have some solid advice.

The girl is already on birth control. Took care of that immediately after catching them. Its gross that a 12yr old needs to be on birth control.

There is for sure a good chance that she is contacting the boy via a friends device at school. I brought it up to her mother after the first incident. I don't see any way of stopping preventing this. The good news here is that most of her friends are against the "relationship" She has had some rifts about this with her peers who can see that this is a terrible situation. She thinks she is in love, there is no reasoning with her.

"Generally be a better father" yeah I know this is the answer. But its a little late for that now. Her real dad is a drug addicted, no job, no license having lying waste of oxygen that now lives with his mother. No help or good example coming from him.

I am not going to marry the mother as a result of this situation. Our non marriage licence having relationship has been longer lasting and better than the majority of marriages that our friends and families have entered into and destroyed over these 10 years. I see no reason to copy it. The vast majority of marriages seem to fail. We don't need one to hold our relationship together. She is in agreement with me on this 100% If you think this is the answer to the situation we find ourselves in currently... I guess you can't help. Thanks for trying.

The dogs.... I'm honestly proud that they even barked. They are the most friendly animals on the planet, stranger or not. And one of them is a 110lb German Shepherd.

Become friends with the 12yr old in a good way. At this point I don't know how to do that. I'm not her "real dad". She will have no part of any conversation about the subject. The answer to literally every question is " I don't know". The answer to every statement is "okay" She is already fully punished, there is nothing left to take away from her. Do I reward her for her stubborn defiance at this point by doing nice things with her? I literally don't know.

At this point I am seriously worried about her safety. If this boy is willing to steal a car and drive an hour with no license and attempt to break into my house for the second time what else is he willing to do? He could easily make some attempt at apprehending her. That may have been what he was trying to do the other night. The 12yr old has no fear of him. Believes he would never harm her. Will not listen to reason regarding this. Hell she is 12 and thinks she is in love. There is no logic taking place here.

Short of chaining her to her bedpost I am at a loss. (child abuse) We live in Cannon County Tennessee. The local cops say there is nothing they can do with a minor other then return them to their parents because Cannon County has no Juvenile department or some such nonsense. The quote from the PD. "In cannon county a minor can literally get away with anything short of murder" So even if I catch this kid in my house and tie him up the cops will just take him back home. And probably charge me with some nonsense. Seriously. Its probably best that I didn't have my shoes tied tight enough, if I caught him and held him for the cops that's probably kidnapping for all I know.

Can I press charges on his mother somehow. Anyone have any advanced knowledge of the law regarding this subject?
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:41 PM
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Originally Posted by gem58 View Post
While Tennessee does have something called a "Romeo and Juliet" clause in their law, please try the group below as they can give you legal avenues.

Contact Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) for online help and local resources.

Good luck.
Thanks for this will check it out
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Shipwreck1 View Post


Do you really think an old man can catch a 15 year old boy running for his life?
Hell Im 36yrs old. 5"11 and 160lbs. I was hanging with him until I lost the shoe. Then I had no prayer. My feet still hurt from running in socks down my gravel driveway.
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:52 PM
  #57  
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First, good on you for a reply that was more polite than necessary to some of the comments you've received.

I would start with speaking to an attorney in Woodbury who does family law and/or juvenile/criminal. You will then get a more accurate answer to what her mother's options are. If nothing else this will give you more ammunition with the local PD. And of course you will be getting real TN legal advice (spoken as a lawyer formerly licensed in TN) rather than keyboard jockeys.

Terrible situation, and I don't feel qualified to give you parenting advice. But you need legal advice as well.

Good luck.

Originally Posted by aj06bolt12r View Post
Maybe this is not the best place to go for advice. But the police say there is nothing that can legally be done. I know for sure that there are plenty of lawyers and PO's that frequent this forum. Figured they might have some solid advice.

The girl is already on birth control. Took care of that immediately after catching them. Its gross that a 12yr old needs to be on birth control.

There is for sure a good chance that she is contacting the boy via a friends device at school. I brought it up to her mother after the first incident. I don't see any way of stopping preventing this. The good news here is that most of her friends are against the "relationship" She has had some rifts about this with her peers who can see that this is a terrible situation. She thinks she is in love, there is no reasoning with her.

"Generally be a better father" yeah I know this is the answer. But its a little late for that now. Her real dad is a drug addicted, no job, no license having lying waste of oxygen that now lives with his mother. No help or good example coming from him.

I am not going to marry the mother as a result of this situation. Our non marriage licence having relationship has been longer lasting and better than the majority of marriages that our friends and families have entered into and destroyed over these 10 years. I see no reason to copy it. The vast majority of marriages seem to fail. We don't need one to hold our relationship together. She is in agreement with me on this 100% If you think this is the answer to the situation we find ourselves in currently... I guess you can't help. Thanks for trying.

The dogs.... I'm honestly proud that they even barked. They are the most friendly animals on the planet, stranger or not. And one of them is a 110lb German Shepherd.

Become friends with the 12yr old in a good way. At this point I don't know how to do that. I'm not her "real dad". She will have no part of any conversation about the subject. The answer to literally every question is " I don't know". The answer to every statement is "okay" She is already fully punished, there is nothing left to take away from her. Do I reward her for her stubborn defiance at this point by doing nice things with her? I literally don't know.

At this point I am seriously worried about her safety. If this boy is willing to steal a car and drive an hour with no license and attempt to break into my house for the second time what else is he willing to do? He could easily make some attempt at apprehending her. That may have been what he was trying to do the other night. The 12yr old has no fear of him. Believes he would never harm her. Will not listen to reason regarding this. Hell she is 12 and thinks she is in love. There is no logic taking place here.

Short of chaining her to her bedpost I am at a loss. (child abuse) We live in Cannon County Tennessee. The local cops say there is nothing they can do with a minor other then return them to their parents because Cannon County has no Juvenile department or some such nonsense. The quote from the PD. "In cannon county a minor can literally get away with anything short of murder" So even if I catch this kid in my house and tie him up the cops will just take him back home. And probably charge me with some nonsense. Seriously. Its probably best that I didn't have my shoes tied tight enough, if I caught him and held him for the cops that's probably kidnapping for all I know.

Can I press charges on his mother somehow. Anyone have any advanced knowledge of the law regarding this subject?
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:55 PM
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Did not read it all but enough to think - be careful here. If your daughter invites or lets him in the house he is probably not "breaking in". JDC above makes a good point about your classy response to us and about legal advice.

My sympathies hopefully that boy will find it is easier to date a girl closer to his home and with less hassle. These kids see movies and TV and believe this there is only one person for me crap. Yea, and that one person in the whole world,just happens to be the girl next door,or the in your class,or in your summer camp, etc etc etc. If only you could get that message to them - there are so many others they can and in fact WILL fall for and feel exactly the same way about. Propinquity.
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Last edited by LI Sound Grunt; 02-11-2019 at 04:03 PM.
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Shipwreck1 View Post


Do you really think an old man can catch a 15 year old boy running for his life?

Next time find the escape vehicle first and cut the tire stems.
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Old 02-11-2019, 04:04 PM
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Wow what a mess, we went through a lot of BS with our daughter and the guys that were constantly sniffing around. Does the local PD have any kind of scared straight programs you can enroll her in? Maybe suggest that to the lady that the boy lives with to send him to a scared straight program? I don't know how to do it but the boy needs to find another girl to get his mind off of your girl. He is thinking with his other head so if/when he turns his attention to a different girl he will leave yours alone.

We had our daughter attend some consoling when things got really bad. Sometimes kids can get the exact same advice from their parents but when it comes from a 3rd person it seems as if they take it more seriously. Good luck buddy, I am so glad this crap is over for us.
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