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15yr old boy 12yr old girl.. what to do

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15yr old boy 12yr old girl.. what to do

Old 02-11-2019, 12:28 PM
  #21  
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She's still chatting with him somehow, likely school.

Forget the boy, that's going to lead down a bad path. I would become very interested in her every move...in a good way.

Had the sex talk yet? Described in detail what those choices can and do lead to? It's past time.
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Old 02-11-2019, 12:30 PM
  #22  
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As a legal guardian of the child could u not place a restraining order on the boy? I know you could in NC about 20yrs ago. Lol don’t ask!
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Old 02-11-2019, 12:30 PM
  #23  
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Originally Posted by GR1FFIN View Post
oh boy... she apparently has some serious Daddy issues. Do your best to give her confidence, respect, encouragement and most of all self -esteem so that she has a good relationship with an adult male figure and doesn't need to go fill the void elsewhere. You cant stop the rabid racoons from trying to enter the house you better work on her not wanting them. The way you do that is by being a good role model, treating her mom really well and most importantly having a good relationship with her. Tell her she is awesome (or has a lot of potential) dont beat her down.
I agree 100% with this.

I will also add that forbidding a teenager from doing anything will never work. They will just hide shit and sneak around.
You two need to find a middle ground, whatever that may be.

As far as peckerhead, I was that peckerhead at one time. There ain't no stopping a bull in rut.
I've been choked, chased with baseball bats, threatened with all kinds of bodily harm, cops called and had my car vandalized. Not one of things crossed my mind the next time the girls would call me.

Good luck man, I raised a daughter and it ain't easy remaining a free man sometimes.
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Old 02-11-2019, 12:37 PM
  #24  
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Originally Posted by homeby51 View Post
I believe it. Read my post above....I went to lawyers, The DA office, psychiatrist,, etc... Basically all they tell you is that under today's laws your hand are tied as a parent. You have to provide shelter and care for you minor child until the age of 18 so you can't throw them out. Unless the man or wife completely stays at home 24 hours a day until she is 18 and NEVER let her out of your site you might as well accept that she will do what she will do.
I still cannot believe there are no protections for a 12 year old child being sexually abused by anyone, never mind the age of the perp!

Here is a link to the Tennessee Statutory Rape Law
https://www.ageofconsent.net/laws/te...statutory-rape

And the Florida Law
https://www.ageofconsent.net/states/florida
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Old 02-11-2019, 12:37 PM
  #25  
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Originally Posted by whorrall View Post
First, lots of keyboard warriors on here are going to suggest shooting the kid, beating him up, etc. You're right in your judgement that taking action like that would cause more problems than it would solve.
.
Hey OP, don't take advice from someone that doesn't get THT humor.
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Old 02-11-2019, 12:42 PM
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Could you let him break in and have him arrested for breaking and entering?
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Old 02-11-2019, 12:52 PM
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First, tie your damn shoes tighter!
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Old 02-11-2019, 12:55 PM
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Originally Posted by aj06bolt12r View Post
Long Story Warning

So my girlfriend and I have been living together for 10 years now. Not married, neither of us think it is necessary.
She has 2 daughters who may as well be my own. I have been helping to raise them since they were 2 and 5. Now 12 and 15.

The 12 year old has managed to get herself into a "relationship" with a 15 year old boy from another school about an hour away from where we live. The daughter of a close family friend is close friends with this boy. When the 12 year old would go see the family friend I guess the boy was around and that is how this got started. It must have escalated to where it is now via talking on the phone, snapchat what have you.

In any case one day my girlfriend is getting ready to leave for work one morning and she goes and checks on her daughters and finds this boy sleeping in the bed with the 12 year old! She freaks out and throws the boy out of the house and wakes me up. We contact his adopted mother and let her know what is happening. Severely ground the 12 year old and take away all means she has of contacting the boy. She is defiant, says they love each-other and will never give up on him... yada yada.

Our mistake was not monitoring her device closely enough. She is 12 and we had no idea she was even interested in such a relationship already. But that was a serious mistake, I get that. She now has zero access to any electronics whatsoever. The door has been removed from her room. The windows in her room are permanently locked and cannot be opened without power tools or breaking the glass.

Several months go by with no contact that we know of between her and the boy. The 12 year old is finally starting to come around and act normal again, not so depressed and angry and hung up on this boy. Things seem to be heading in the right direction.

But then we get a phone call from the boys mother in the middle of a week night. She says the boy stole her car and she thinks he is headed to our house to try to see the 12 year old. 12 year old has no idea that this is going on. Sure enough at about 1am the outside dogs start barking and run around the house towards the outside of 12yr olds window. I grab a spotlight and sneak outside and get to the corner of the house. I look in the direction that the dogs are looking and fire up the spotlight. Sure enough there is this boy. He takes of running for the road about 200 yards away. I take off after him but immediately loose one of my shoes. Then I have to take off the other one to run correctly. By this time I have no hope of catching this kid, hes a quick little shit. He had parked in the street near my driveway. He hops in the car and takes off.

So this is the second time he has attempted to break into my house that I know of. I can see his muddy shoe prints on top of my AC unit where he was trying to get into the window. Good thing the window could not be opened. I have no idea what this kid is capable of at this point.

We called the cops this time and told them everything. They basically said there was absolutely nothing they could do because the kid is a minor. Even if I caught the boy and held him for the cops they wouldn't be able to do anything but return him to his parents.

The boys mother adopted him and several other kids. She is like 70 years old and not equipped to handle this boy. She says she is going to try to get him help. I have little confidence in this.

The cops will do nothing. They already said so. What are my options? I know hindsight is 20-20 but what would you do going forward. I cant think of anything that doesn't risk me going to jail... that helps noone long term. Any lawyers reading this that know of any options?

This is taking place in Middle Tennessee by the way.
The cops likely do have the power to do something. Like another poster said, run it up the chain of command / contact the DA's office. I don't see why he cant be trespassed from your property and arrested. The question is can you get a no-contact restraining order on behalf of your daughter? I dont know how that works.
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Old 02-11-2019, 01:02 PM
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My little sister started dating a 20 year old guy when she was 16. Like you, I was very uncomfortable with it. Especially since he was a dumbshit. No ambition, no high school diploma.

She spent years helping him get his life together.

After 8 years, when he had his wisdom teeth removed, coming out of anesthesia, he came out of the closet.

Turns out hes a massive queen and had been hiding it since he was a kid.

So on top of her spending years helping the guy, she feels like shit thinking she made him gay.

Not a helpful story, Haha. Just thought it was fitting.


In your case, I'd get really interested in her life. Pick her up from school. Ask about her day. Try to help her find more fitting outlets for her energy.
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Old 02-11-2019, 01:03 PM
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Not sure what Tennessee law is, but I'd start with a paper-trail with your local PD. Ask for a Sergeant or higher. Push the issue, and go to your county courthouse. See the family clerk, and run the scenario by them. Apply for a no-contact order on behalf of your daughter. Shes a minor and it shouldnt be a problem to apply. Drag the kid into court and get him in front of a judge. This could be enough to scare him off.
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Old 02-11-2019, 01:05 PM
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Step 1 is get her on birth control. Not sure what the other steps are; as I can't offer any experience. You can figure out the rest after she's on BC though. My wife delivers "babies having babies" all the time. It's never good.
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Old 02-11-2019, 01:07 PM
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Whew....

At least this is in Tennessee. Us Floridians are getting tired of all the crazy shit happening here.
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Old 02-11-2019, 01:15 PM
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Originally Posted by signmansez View Post
I still cannot believe there are no protections for a 12 year old child being sexually abused by anyone, never mind the age of the perp!

Here is a link to the Tennessee Statutory Rape Law
https://www.ageofconsent.net/laws/te...statutory-rape

And the Florida Law
https://www.ageofconsent.net/states/florida
Let's just assume they were cuddling and there was no sex involved....let's keep this conversation about how to prevent your 12 yo daughter from having contact with a 15 yo boy. Could be the other way around as well, could be a 15 yo cougar trying to sneak into your 12 yo sons room...point is, what steps do you take and how do you prevent contact between them?

BTW, I'm in the camp of get her on birth control immediately.
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Old 02-11-2019, 01:20 PM
  #34  
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some things you need to understand:

she has a phone you don't know about

100% put her on BC

I think I'd drug test her too
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Old 02-11-2019, 01:20 PM
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Originally Posted by joshd472 View Post
In Mississippi if the girl is not 17 and you are 24 months older than her it's considered statuary rape. I'd contact a lawyer.
is she still your cousin tho?

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Old 02-11-2019, 01:29 PM
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Originally Posted by YFMF View Post
Hey OP, don't take advice from someone that doesn't get THT humor.
I get it. But if I was in OPs shoes, I would not be in a joking mood, and might take it seriously. You see on movies and TV where the hero beats someone up or shoots someone and everything is fine after that. That ain't real life.

Source: years ago a guy was fooling around with my wife. Punched him in the face. Went to jail.
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Old 02-11-2019, 01:31 PM
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Damn shame we live in a country where a grown ass man cannot protect the virtue of a 12 year old girl without going to jail.
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Old 02-11-2019, 01:34 PM
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Originally Posted by txj33p View Post
First, tie your damn shoes tighter!
Shoes? WTF were the dogs doing besides barking?
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Old 02-11-2019, 01:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Kenny Powers View Post
Step 1 is get her on birth control. Not sure what the other steps are; as I can't offer any experience. You can figure out the rest after she's on BC though. My wife delivers "babies having babies" all the time. It's never good.
Yep this is so important for you and them. Then try to offer some positive reinforcement it "they can wait" and not bring on a baby. College, car money, whatever she wants. You do not want her living at home with a baby until she finished school, finds a job someday. Good luck.
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Old 02-11-2019, 01:46 PM
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Just watched Abducted in Plain Sight on Netflix. Proves that all kind of stuff can happen. Get control of the situation ASAP.
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