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Teen with a Video game addiction

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Teen with a Video game addiction

Old 01-31-2019, 04:38 PM
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Default Teen with a Video game addiction

Have very good friends that are not dealing with their son's ''addiction'' to Fortnite (?)

He is 17, has been kicked out of private and public school, had a couple of minor run ins with the law (pot). He ended up in 8 weeks of ''wilderness camp'' (outward bound type of place)in Utah last summer.

Before he came home parents asked if I would ''mentor'' him and give him some hours each week in my sign shop. I asked if they were going to remove the video game computer from his room and not allow him to play. They said they were going to limit his video play time and use it as a ''reward'' for positive behavior. I objected by saying you can't give a heroin addict a little taste for being clean a few weeks!! I agreed but did not have much hope for this arrangement working out.

Well, he started out great. Had a keen interest in learning what I do at the shop, got to use power tools for the first time in his life, and was great with the computer and photoshop.

He was getting about 2-3 hours 3 days a week. I corrected him on being late, I let him know it was not OK to text me and say he wasn't go to make it that day because of xyz.

He was doing great...for about 2 months. Around November he became lethargic and disinterested at work. He became whiney when asked to do something out of his comfort level like cut heavy plastics for posters and signs. Then he stopped asking when he could work next. I could tell he only asked when his mom got on him.

Two weeks ago he asked if he could come in on Thursday for a few hours. I agreed and was going to have a man to man with him. He never showed, called or texted!

I told his parents when he started with me that I wasn't going to be his ''parent''. That I would do this as long as he was interested in it and was not going to chase him or compete with the stupid video game.

Sunday I will be at his house for Super Bowl, first time I will see him since he stood me up. Not sure how I am going to handle it. Wife and I have been out with his parents a few times since he ''quit'' but neither have really asked me how he was doing. I did mention that he hadn't shown up in a few weeks but that got brushed aside.

The parents are very aware of the problem but like many parents these days, they would rather avoid the conflict of saying no more! I can only speculate what they are going through at home.

He is not my problem, I feel bad for him because he is a nice kid, used to be great at sports, had all kinds of friends and now he just escapes for hours into virtual world.

I am sure this a huge problem in many homes in our country. I am sure that there will be some classification of mental illness or addictive behavior from the CDC pertaining to video game playing sometime soon if it hasn't been approached already. Hopefully studies will lead to treatment.

How have you dealt with your children and video gaming?
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Old 01-31-2019, 04:48 PM
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The kid is screwed.

His parents failed him.

He's 17, the ship has sailed. Gonna be a long life.

I wouldn't want to be friends with him or his parents.
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Old 01-31-2019, 04:55 PM
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Just another drain on the system designed to help hard working people make ends meet between jobs by not doing a thing and expecting a roof, food, and internet in return for being born. Lost cause... from your perspective I mean. Obviously his parents needs to be stern and straighten him up before he gets in actual/real trouble in the world.
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Old 01-31-2019, 05:06 PM
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Feel sorry for the kid. No clear understanding between hard work and reward, or slack off and skate by on M&D. By grace of God could be my kid.
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Old 01-31-2019, 05:27 PM
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Don’t give up on him quite yet...kids do dumb shit...again and again. Some get it, eventually, and some never will.
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Old 01-31-2019, 05:28 PM
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My son became obsessed with a video game he played on "his" phone, when he was about 18 and still living at home. "His" phone was really my phone that I'd lent him. It became so bad that he began lashing out, breaking things and once getting physical with me when I wouldn't buy him a virtual asset on the game.

I tried limiting his time on it, limiting purchases to once every 3 months, etc. Nothing really worked. The game became all he cared about.

One day after he became particularly nasty I took the phone and took it outside and smashed it with a rock and threw it away. That was the end of the game in my house. He has since moved out (he is almost 21 now). He works, and plays the game still, but it isn't under my roof so it's not my issue.

You control what goes on under your roof, or don't. It's your choice.
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Old 01-31-2019, 05:31 PM
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Just saying that I played a ton of video games as a kid. I wanted to cheat so I learned how to do binary edits on saved games. Then ended up writing a program to search for hex string patterns inside saved games and change them. Fast forward, ended up studying comp sci and now working in the field. Not saying everyone will do this...
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Old 01-31-2019, 05:32 PM
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At 17 I was banging that redhead like a screen door in katrina. Kid needs more ass in his life. Get him a girl he'd have 0 time for fortn wtf it is
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Old 01-31-2019, 05:41 PM
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Originally Posted by jheiii View Post
At 17 I was banging that redhead like a screen door in katrina. Kid needs more ass in his life. Get him a girl he'd have 0 time for fortn wtf it is
He had a beautiful girlfriend last year. She had enough of the video gaming and gave him the ultimatum! He chose the stupid game!!

This friggin game is ruining this kid's life! He has a twin sister that is an honor student (he used to be) and into track, volleyball, field hockey, etc. She received multiple offers to colleges all over the USA. Heading to Tulane this year.

He was a great hockey player, in Florida of all places, loved basketball, played field hockey as well and now video games!

He came ''back to life'' after his summer in wilderness boot camp. Once back into the same environment he went back to the ''crack'', video games.
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Old 01-31-2019, 05:41 PM
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Old 01-31-2019, 05:47 PM
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Sounds like the Marines would be the best thing for him.
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Old 01-31-2019, 06:10 PM
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I used to laugh when people would say to me, " you have to pick your battles". Some people don't realize everyday is a battle when you are raising kids. Consistency is key..
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Old 01-31-2019, 06:15 PM
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I’ve long said video games are a giant wast of time. Get outside and do stuff. If your kids don’t want to get outside, make them. If you live in an area to dangerous for them to be outside without undivided attention (age appropriate obviously), move.
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Old 01-31-2019, 06:15 PM
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All I can think about is this. Some language. Hysterical.

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Old 01-31-2019, 06:21 PM
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You can not force people to change. It has cost me years of my life trying to help people that dont want to change or want the help.

I will die an early death because of the stress and heartache it has caused.


My advice is leave the door open to help him when he wants help. Accepting that you cant help him until he wants help is the hardest part.


From the parents arena, hunger and poverty are excellent motivators that most people dont allow to work on their children.
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Old 01-31-2019, 06:22 PM
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You hit it on the head, it’s an escape. I defiantly wouldn’t give up on him he’s 17.
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Old 01-31-2019, 06:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Lorne Greene View Post
Sounds like the Marines would be the best thing for him.
We don’t want that crap in the Marines either.

Semper Fi
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Old 01-31-2019, 06:26 PM
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I can't believe anyone actually places blame on video games. This is 100% parents at fault. It's like blaming the car for hitting someone when the driver was busy texting.
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Old 01-31-2019, 06:34 PM
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Joe Rogan's podcast #1221 with Jonathon Haidt talks about this game, teenagers and social media. It's fasinating and enlightening. "Jonathan Haidt is a social psychologist and Professor of Ethical Leadership at New York University's Stern School of Business. He's also the author of books such as "The Happiness Hypothesis" and "The Coddling of the American Mind".
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Old 01-31-2019, 06:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Lee Majors View Post
I can't believe anyone actually places blame on video games. This is 100% parents at fault. It's like blaming the car for hitting someone when the driver was busy texting.
agree fully. I do blame them for letting the kids play any video games to start with. I get an hour or so of a racing game or football here and there. These real life action games that have 40,000 different levels and virtual BS online are a giant waste of time. No kid should ever spend anywhere close to the amount of time in a “virtual world” as they do in the real world. Even if they are interacting with real people via headset.
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