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Flatulence

Old 01-17-2019, 06:27 AM
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Had Curry Goat for lunch yesterday, smelling like something died today when I pass. Have a lot of meetings in close spaces today. What should I do?
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Old 01-17-2019, 06:30 AM
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Big cork.

You might try Beano, but I think it's meant for fart control after eating certain vegetables like beans.
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Old 01-17-2019, 06:38 AM
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Tums?
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Old 01-17-2019, 06:39 AM
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After you rip the first one, wait a second and then excuse yourself and don't come back. They'll thank you tomorrow.
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Old 01-17-2019, 06:41 AM
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...or, after you rip the first one, jump up on the table and challenge anyone to do better.
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Old 01-17-2019, 06:41 AM
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Just let 'er rip.. Better to let it out and bare the shame then hold it in and bare the pain. My old spinster aunt told me that so must be true

Careful of sharts though!!
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Old 01-17-2019, 06:44 AM
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Double down with cabbage for breakfast.
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Old 01-17-2019, 06:44 AM
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Announce each one with authority and pride. Never apologize. In other words, own it like a Boss.
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Old 01-17-2019, 06:45 AM
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let it rip then jump up an accuse the guy next to you, and go on a rant about how disgusting and rude it is to do that next to someone.
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Old 01-17-2019, 06:45 AM
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Look at the woman in the room and say "LISA, THAT IS SO RUDE"
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Old 01-17-2019, 07:09 AM
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LOL I remember a few years back, 6 of us were in a van headed to the Kentucky Derby. I let one rip, a SBD. Seconds later all the guys were choking and blaming each other, I just pretended I was asleep. After a few minutes I just could not help but crack up. It was then that they all knew the passer.
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Old 01-17-2019, 07:11 AM
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When I was a kid my grandfather would simultaneously make a grunting sound kind of like ooouuuhut. I thought it was funny as hell, my grandmother, not so much...
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Old 01-17-2019, 07:13 AM
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Try asking someone to pull your finger, then it's their fault.
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Old 01-17-2019, 07:16 AM
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Update; Going home and working from there. I could live with one or two but these are like by the minute types... whew.... taking the paint off the wall in my office and driving with the windows down on the highway..
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Old 01-17-2019, 07:17 AM
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Farting in church is the best. Everyone is polite and on their best behavior and no one says anything.
The pastor said to 'Get the demon out'...so I did.
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Old 01-17-2019, 07:21 AM
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Bring a whoopy cushion for the other guy.
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Old 01-17-2019, 07:21 AM
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Old 01-17-2019, 07:21 AM
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Cup-O-Cheese!!!!!
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Old 01-17-2019, 07:23 AM
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dutch ovened the wife the other night and she puked
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Old 01-17-2019, 07:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Brett1 View Post
Cup-O-Cheese!!!!!
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