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Christmas Present - am i wrong

Old 01-11-2019, 06:49 AM
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Default Christmas Present - am i wrong

Have a good friend that moved 7 years ago. Really haven't seen him much. I think 3 times in those 7 years. Text each other maybe once or twice every couple months. He married a horrible person who i can't stand. Last time down there, we turned down their offer to stay at their house and went to a hotel just to stay away from her. So we both have kids. We sent gifts for Christmas to each others kids. My wife asked my buddy what to get. He said no toys because the 2 year old throws them. (i told my wife to get the little one a bunch of balls, but she wouldn't) She bought the items he said and had Target deliver directly to them. They do the same and we wrap them and give to the kids. The one item was back ordered and she just got an email saying it was back ordered again. So she logged in and saw that every other thing she bought for them was returned or exchanged. Everything. There is no way they already have some of the items.

I told my wife not to say anything next year say that we no longer have to exchange gifts. If he pushes as to why, then tell him.

One point she brought up was that they may be a little financially stretched. He works 3 jobs. She works none

Last edited by WaterEnjoyer; 01-11-2019 at 07:14 AM.
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:56 AM
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Cool story bro.
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:00 AM
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My guess would be $ issues
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:01 AM
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Guessing your buddy knows nothing of the returns if he is working that much.

I wouldn't do it immediately just to keep anybody from getting weird, but may just want to talk to your friend a bit more. Call him on the phone just to BS. If something is going on he may need someone to run it all by. That's not likely to happen by text.
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:05 AM
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Yeah man if y’all are that good of friends why not just ask. He may not even know. His significant other may not like u either and she may have received the gifts and returned them saying u didn’t send any. Honesty always the best policy
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:05 AM
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If they return the items you sent them wouldn't you get the credit not them, I'm easily confused?
Is this the vegan?
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:06 AM
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Originally Posted by likwid View Post
Cool story bro.
that would be funny if we were 17 year olds and still in high school!
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:06 AM
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Well,when you just order crap online and have it sent to them,and they do the same,how does it even feel like exchanging gifts? Gift giving should be just that,giving someone a gift with no expectation of getting anything in return,When it turns into what you are doing,it's time to stop.
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:07 AM
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Originally Posted by Jack F View Post
If they return the items you sent them wouldn't you get the credit not them, I'm easily confused?
Is this the vegan?
could have been exchanged at the store level for different items or some places will still give cash back.
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Jack F View Post
If they return the items you sent them wouldn't you get the credit not them, I'm easily confused?
Is this the vegan?
I meant exchanged or returned for credit/gift card. We can't tell which.


yes the vegan. Some of the gifts were art supplies. Even if you have those, you can always use more.
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:14 AM
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Originally Posted by muskamoot View Post
Well,when you just order crap online and have it sent to them,and they do the same,how does it even feel like exchanging gifts? Gift giving should be just that,giving someone a gift with no expectation of getting anything in return,When it turns into what you are doing,it's time to stop.
i feel that way too. He moved 600 miles away from friends and family and we just figured it was a way to stay involved. Some normalcy.
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:15 AM
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While I understand how you feel, you need to look at this another way. You gave gifts to someone, that act of kindness should never have strings attached! In other words, they should be allowed to do whatever they want with those gifts because it's their stuff now.
I've always found it odd that most folks tend to want to control things they give to people. Seems like a good way to always get annoyed because nobody does things the way you do!
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:40 AM
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I don't understand the need for mandatory giving useless Chinese junk to people on an annual basis to people you barely know.
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Old 01-11-2019, 08:00 AM
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Originally Posted by WaterEnjoyer View Post
Have a good friend that moved 7 years ago. Really haven't seen him much. I think 3 times in those 7 years. Text each other maybe once or twice every couple months. He married a horrible person who i can't stand. Last time down there, we turned down their offer to stay at their house and went to a hotel just to stay away from her. So we both have kids. We sent gifts for Christmas to each others kids. My wife asked my buddy what to get. He said no toys because the 2 year old throws them. (i told my wife to get the little one a bunch of balls, but she wouldn't) She bought the items he said and had Target deliver directly to them. They do the same and we wrap them and give to the kids. The one item was back ordered and she just got an email saying it was back ordered again. So she logged in and saw that every other thing she bought for them was returned or exchanged. Everything. There is no way they already have some of the items.

I told my wife not to say anything next year say that we no longer have to exchange gifts. If he pushes as to why, then tell him.

One point she brought up was that they may be a little financially stretched. He works 3 jobs. She works none
I think when you give someone a gift it's now theirs and as such they can do whatever they want with it. I wouldn't lose any sleep over this and I certainly wouldn't stop giving gifts out of spite.
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Old 01-11-2019, 08:34 AM
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If exchanging gifts causes stress, you probably shouldn't bother.

I have a friend that constantly compares the gifts that he and his brother exchange (and he Always gets the short end.) Why bother?

Just send a Merry Christmas text.
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Old 01-11-2019, 08:47 AM
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Next year send him a gift certificate for a good divorce lawyer.
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Old 01-11-2019, 08:47 AM
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I bet half the stuff gets exchanged at our house. My wife bought me another cooler this year. I only have about 10.
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Old 01-11-2019, 09:01 AM
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Originally Posted by Gullpt View Post
Next year send him a gift certificate for a good divorce lawyer.
gladly
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Old 01-11-2019, 09:10 AM
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I dont mean this to sound in a dickish way, but seriously.....find other things in life to worry about than loggin in and tracking what someone did with your gifts. Little kid gifts are tough...maybe they were duplicates, toys they know their kids wouldn't like etc. Who cares, I am sure he appreciated it even if they exchanged them.
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Old 01-11-2019, 09:14 AM
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If you feel they are financially strapped and wife is upset they returned gifts but you want to continue maybe some sort of financial gift like a savings bond or some other account in the kids name that they will be able to use in the future.
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