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My ex-best friend-greed, deceit, jail.

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My ex-best friend-greed, deceit, jail.

Old 01-10-2019, 04:25 PM
  #81  
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My wife worked for a small hedge fund (less than 1 billion in assets)in Coral Gables for 10 years,well respected firm. But the intricate ways in which your money flows out to be invested from these type of funds,without your knowledge of consent, led to their $91 million loss in the Madoff mess and thus their investors loss. That was eventually a mortal blow for the firm but they never invested a nickel directly with Madoff. Under the pre-Madoff regulations, they only had to disclose that they were a fund of funds and not where your money was invested. Outside Money managers handled where your money went. All seems so obvious in hindsight, but they made serious money for some serious investors both before and after Madoff, thus the bucks flowed in. So a 2 million dollar check lands on your desk with instructions only to add it to your investment account. Credit it to the account, send the notice to the money managers to "invest it". They choose the funds and away your dollars go. And even the money managers didn't directly invest with Madoff, they sent your money to other funds. But as long as investors were getting a paper return,all was good.
At this date, investors in this fund of funds have received 60-70% refunds of their investments from the Madoff losses,based on the original investment values,not the inflated value claims from Madoff.
So you wanna be a playa in the money markets? You'd better spend some quality time studying how they work.
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Old 01-10-2019, 05:00 PM
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I’m surprised so many people would be so quick to move on from a breach of trust like this. The impulsive behind the back decision would would linger in my mind maybe forever knowing it’s possible someone can lose all my money. I’m not saying a divorce is necessary but to simply say I forgive you and let’s pretend this could never happen again isn’t realistic.
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Old 01-10-2019, 05:09 PM
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Originally Posted by cwhite6 View Post
My Dad got caught up in the Stanford scheme. He lost over half of his retirement he worked 35 years in a refinery for. We were very worried my Dad was going to off himself he was so angry and depressed. It took a few years for him to finally start coming around and letting it go. If I could get my hands on Stanford, I am not saying I would kill him, but he would never walk or talk right again.
Guy in Laffy who thought he had the Midas touch lost $15,000,000 with him. Reliable source says some connected folks lost major $$ also and sent their guys to collect at Stanfordís Dallas office.
Dont have much but I would do the time with a smile if someone touches my family or money.
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Old 01-10-2019, 06:10 PM
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I know how she could make 1/2 his retirement disappear really quickly and legal...
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Old 01-10-2019, 06:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Ahoy Vay View Post
I know how she could make 1/2 his retirement disappear really quickly and legal...
That happens to about half of all marriages, not the same as a spouse gambling your retirement away.
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Old 01-10-2019, 06:48 PM
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Originally Posted by forddeal View Post
Iím surprised so many people would be so quick to move on from a breach of trust like this. The impulsive behind the back decision would would linger in my mind maybe forever knowing itís possible someone can lose all my money. Iím not saying a divorce is necessary but to simply say I forgive you and letís pretend this could never happen again isnít realistic.
How many times have you been divorced, my guess is more than once.
She may been naive but from the limited amount of information that we have she was trying to help THEM.
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Old 01-10-2019, 06:55 PM
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Originally Posted by dmartin View Post
How many times have you been divorced, my guess is more than once.
She may been naive but from the limited amount of information that we have she was trying to help THEM.
Never been married, been with the same gal over ten years.
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Old 01-10-2019, 07:02 PM
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Originally Posted by forddeal View Post

Never been married, been with the same gal over ten years.
Good on you, I hope you're still with her 30 years from now.
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Old 01-10-2019, 07:42 PM
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Originally Posted by forddeal View Post

That happens to about half of all marriages, not the same as a spouse gambling your retirement away.
gambling a PORTION away....an amount that was inconsequential enough he didnít bother to check on...do you think any investment is not a gamble?
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Old 01-10-2019, 08:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Ahoy Vay View Post


gambling a PORTION away....an amount that was inconsequential enough he didnít bother to check on...do you think any investment is not a gamble?
I do believe itís a gamble, I also understand why the OP is pissed and a portion of trust may be long gone.
A friend of mine had this happen to him, not some faceless screen name. His thoughts mimicked the OPís. Knowing that person you should trust most is capable of throwing your retirement away is not a pleasant feeling. They are still married but he definitely did not sweep it under the rug, he also hasnít forgotten.
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Old 01-11-2019, 05:43 AM
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if the OP was such great friends with this guy why not pay him a visit in jail and say hey i know you have money stashed somewhere better keep it there till you get out and pay me my money back.... I know long shot but i think id still go visit the scumbag.
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Old 01-11-2019, 05:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Rheeder218 View Post
if the OP was such great friends with this guy why not pay him a visit in jail and say hey i know you have money stashed somewhere better keep it there till you get out and pay me my money back.... I know long shot but i think id still go visit the scumbag.
If the scumbag would take the money from the OP's wife knowing he was perpetrating a fraud in the first place, he was never a real friend. The scumbag likely is a sociopath and didn't see the OP as a friend, but as a potential target that he enjoyed being around. I think going to talk to the guy in hopes that he'd do the right thing would just make him feel victimized again.
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:05 AM
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Originally Posted by forddeal View Post

I do believe itís a gamble, I also understand why the OP is pissed and a portion of trust may be long gone.
A friend of mine had this happen to him, not some faceless screen name. His thoughts mimicked the OPís. Knowing that person you should trust most is capable of throwing your retirement away is not a pleasant feeling. They are still married but he definitely did not sweep it under the rug, he also hasnít forgotten.
I get it and it sucks all the way around. If my 401k is averaging 4% should my wife be mad because I have not made smarter election?. We would be out a nice sum of money. I was doing it for our retirement. Have I broken her trust? I just strongly believe that to value money over the love of your wife/kidsGod is a sad statement on values that are fairly common in todayís society. Yes, I would be upset. No, it wouldnít strain my marriage. Trust me, I have been tested. I have been taught to survive. I will earn more money.
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:10 AM
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Guess not having much money has it's advantages
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Boat Bum View Post
So you can spend thousands on a car or boat and not discuss it first?
Originally Posted by thefuzz View Post
Yes. Yukon is in the shop right now getting some work done in the transfer case. Bill is a little over 1,000. Wife doesn't want me to explain to her what it's for, she just wants her car back.

Same with the boat, although the only way I'm spending 1,000 on the boat out of the blue would be repairs, and again, she doesn't want to know about those.

Were is a new power pole, that's a different story.
For repairs, that's a different story.
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:36 AM
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Originally Posted by Ahoy Vay View Post


I understand being upset as we all would. She tried to do something to make your retirement better and got scammed. It is only money. Which do you love more?
Ditto. OP says his wife earned the money. She invested it. Where's the down side other than the clear risk of being swindled.

Sounds like OP is happy pissing away coin on "a passion for fine wine", "sports cars", golf trips etc., and that he had no problem supporting the illusion these conmen perpetrated.
Sounds like she is an accredited investor in her own right, and made a decision. Big deal.

If you're so tight a couple hundred K loss is a big deal to you...who you posing for with "fine wine by the pallet" and all the other bullshit?
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Ahoy Vay View Post


I get it and it sucks all the way around. If my 401k is averaging 4% should my wife be mad because I have not made smarter election?. We would be out a nice sum of money. I was doing it for our retirement. Have I broken her trust? I just strongly believe that to value money over the love of your wife/kidsGod is a sad statement on values that are fairly common in todayís society. Yes, I would be upset. No, it wouldnít strain my marriage. Trust me, I have been tested. I have been taught to survive. I will earn more money.
We both agree the money is inconsequential and more can be made. Whatís not inconsequential is the trust lost, it will be a lot tougher to get that back than the money lost. An emotional investment was made without consulting the other half of the partnership.
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:55 AM
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Sociopaths come in all sizes. Folks like this make up excuses for greed and the lack of empathy towards others. I have a hard time trusting folks these days without finding out what is in it for them. They are scum, no different than someone taking advantage of the elderly who have no beneficiary rights.

Sorry that your wife got bamboozled. Due diligence is key.
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:03 AM
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Perfect reason why we do not share money! There are no joint accounts at my house. This has always been my policy and if/when she mismanages her money it won't have a negative impact on our marriage.
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:26 AM
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You boys and your serious money......

I'm only posting this to follow this thread because it's interesting to a poor man ------- When I was in high school, I lost all my money at the hand of a county fair carny. $40. Since then, I've never gambled and learned to distrust any thing that advances the narrative "put in a little more and you can double your money." I learned my lesson with $40. Apparently it takes serious coin for some people to learn that lesson.
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