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Sex, drugs and rock and roll without the sex and rock and roll!

Old 01-06-2019, 02:06 PM
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ya know , all the bullshit you/me have too say as tht guys - just want to respond and say I'm proud of you guys for supporting brett - you have all helped him with your comments ! stay the course
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Old 01-06-2019, 02:12 PM
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We may bust balls, mostly all in fun, but when someone needs others to lean on or somewhere to unload their burden, to clear their mind, this place, to me, is like no other.

THT is a family.



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Old 01-06-2019, 02:15 PM
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Have any of ya'll with addiction problems sought counseling vs. going the AA/group therapy route?
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Old 01-06-2019, 02:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Wavehight View Post
Have any of ya'll with addiction problems sought counseling vs. going the AA/group therapy route?
You have to do both. Going to AA/NA meetings is meaningless unless you have a hard working sponsor to educate you. There has to be context to the 12 steps in order to get benefit from meetings. That context comes from counseling and understanding what it means to "work a program". It would be very difficult to just pick up the big book and get what it offers a without guidance.
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Old 01-06-2019, 02:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Rapi View Post
How are the kids after the crash?

Did I understand correctly that you used the Florida place as a party house? If so, sell it. You'll have some cash in your pocket and the temptation will be gone. When you're back on your feet, buy a house on the other (quiet) side of town, lol!

I will say that I am joining the Brett1 Prayer Club. Since I have come to like SavedByGrace's posts so much, I nominate her to lead the prayers.

BTW, in the midst of all this crap Brett's going through, he actually volunteered to help me get through my own life-destroying problem. Brett, you are not only courageous, you're a good man. Keep going!

Check your PMs for my phone number. Feel free to call/text anytime.

==>Rapi

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My 17 year old got a nice gash and stitches on his nose. The 13 year old just got sore. The car ended up on its roof which is glass and the 17 year old got cut. The car went off the road and down a hill into someone's yard almost into their livingroom.
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Old 01-06-2019, 02:36 PM
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Watched plenty of people relatives included go down a similar path. Buried a few too.
All I can say is Dump Florida ,and anyone or thing that reminds you or invites you to relapse..
Down scale your lifestyle to spend more time with family,exercise .Keep busy with your family.
Can’t emphasize how grateful you should be to your wife and kids now!
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Old 01-06-2019, 02:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Wavehight View Post
Have any of ya'll with addiction problems sought counseling vs. going the AA/group therapy route?
I attended an anger management group, I would get myself into a fight every other week , sometimes more and sometimes less. But I learned a lot about myself. When I finally sobered up I realized I was powerless over alcohol . I got tired of lying to myself and others . I had a few friends that were involved with AA so I had many conversations about it, both in anger management and at work. I lived all of the guidelines AA lays forth, but I never attended an AA meeting, but I swore to myself that I would, if I even had one drink. My anger management group helped me a ton .

Knowing my propensity for alcohol addiction and how I address it has kept me clear of other addictions, for example, I had Hernia surgery and the Dr. prescribed Oxy for me, I only took my normal dosage when I woke in the morning and stayed away ibuprofen for the rest of the day, I was scared to death of it and after 2 days I was good with ibuprofen. But trust me, I KNEW I would be hooked on that in short order.

I've had many situations where my sobriety was tested but so far I've kept myself clean. I still stay sober, one day at a time and the funny thing is, I haven't had a fight since the day I gave up .
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Old 01-06-2019, 02:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Brett1 View Post
I know this is a subject that affects people in many different ways but I thought it was necessary to at least put my story out as a cautionary Tale and maybe give some motivation for someone else similarly situated to move on and improve their life.

My journey into the world of drug addiction started in a relatively innocuous manner. In 2008 I was prescribed painkillers for a cervical spine issue that I had related to a boat racing accident. For many months I rarely took any medication because of my fear of narcotics. But what eventually ended up happening was I lost that fear and in losing that fear my use started the climb.

By 2010 I was using prescribed narcotics on a daily basis. This was partially due to pain but mostly due to the mental relief it gave me from the stresses of litigation. You see, lawyers have nearly double the statistical occurance of alc/substance abuse compared to the average person. Yup, those of us with doctorate degrees and years of solving other's problems are unable fix our own.

By 2012 I was in full blown addiction and finally went to my doctor and confessed. I was tapered down for a month and then spent 5 days fairly sick. I made 120 days before relapsing. I know now that the reason for relapse was because I never received any formal counseling in the area of addiction and or recovery. Without learning why we do the things we do and how to offset or change our lifestyles through professional help we are doomed to repeat the cycle over and over again.

By 2013 I was back in active addiction but this time I going to another doctor who provided me essentially with anything that I wanted. As long as I had cash he had a script pad and he was ready to write anything. I ended up progressing from vicodin to oxycodone essentially jumping from the frying pan Into the Fire. I used oxycodone until 2017 when I was introduced to Dilaudid. As some of you may know It is only truly effective when it's injected not swallowed. Once I was showed how to take an insulin needle and inject into my vein a compound of water and crushed up Dilaudid drawn through a cotton my world changed forever. I'm not going to lie in many ways it was the best feeling I've ever felt. What I didn't realize was I just put my foot on the banana peel and I was going down the hill at a hundred miles an hour towards my ultimate demise.

After using in this manner all through 2017 and in 2018 my life had become completely unmanageable. I was not attentive to my clients, I was missing court dates and more importantly I would run from my family to get back to Florida to score more drugs. And to supplement my use I started using cocaine in copious amounts. My daily routine was I would get low with opiates and get high with Coke, get low with opiates get high with Coke essentially speedballing. In times of being unable two-score Pharmaceuticals I turned to Black Market heroin.

By August of 2018 I went from 305 lb down to 208lbs, my suits no longer fit. In fact I looked like a homeless person and somehow or another in my addicted mind I thought that I looked good. What was really happening was I was dying and each night I came closer and closer to overdosing until eventually I returned home and my wife took one look at me and realized that there was something seriously wrong. It was her and the friends she had that were in the recovery business that literally performed intervention and saved my life.

I was immediately sent to a 30-day inpatient program. When I got to that program I was physically so ill from the things I have done to myself that I ended up spending a week in the hospital trying to recover and deal with newly acquired diabetes.

After being released from the hospital I was not allowed to go back to the 30 day program so I went and found another program which was actually 90 days which I enrolled in at the beginning November. I'm now in my 9th week of this program and I can tell you that for the first time in my life I actually have the tools to not only stay sober but to potentially help other people understand what I went through, understand what they're going through, and help them recover as well. It doesn't matter whether your drug of choice is alcohol or narcotics the fact remains that we as addicts function in the complete same way. It is my honest opinion it is very very difficult to you have any meaningful recovery without the assistance of professional help. It is in my program that I learned to become humble, to be honest, and most importantly to put the needs of others before myself selfish desires. As they say in AA / na it is virtually impossible to have any meaningful recovery without a higher power guiding you in your life.

This was a very foreign concept to me because I have been non-religious all of my life. But I can say that since I have accepted a higher power into my life and allowed this higher power to guide my decisions and the things that I do my life in recovery has improved exponentially. I've damaged a lot of people in my life, I've hurt my family incredibly, and I ruined my career. But, I recognize now that the only place left for me to have gone in active addiction was to the Grave.

When my wife finally left me she told me an analogy. She said that she loved me so much but she could no longer watch. She said it was like having your dog get loose on the highway. You scream and yell but the dog keeps almost getting killed until you just can't watch anymore. She said that she had to just turn her back and move on. This is Al/Anon stuff that she learned.

When I got back here on November 1 I had driven my new truck from Florida. I got 30 min from my home in Co. And fell asleep behind the wheel and crashed. No insurance either. $75k truck and I dont even have money to pay the storage bill. That will be lost next week. Powerless. Then 2 nights later my 17 year old drove my wife's new car over to see me and he flipped it hurting himself and my 13 year old. To say I started out back here on the wrong foot is an understatement. I literally got all of my stuff thrown in the road, run over by trucks and destroyed. My Mom picked me up at the wrecker yard and all I had left was the clothes on my back and two changes.

My wife told me that after 26 years divorce was inevitable. I was not allowed to pick my kids up at school, not allowed near her house and our communications were terse at best. I was still being an asshole. All I could do at this point was lean into my program. I suited up, showed up and kept my lawyer mouth shut and my addict ears open and it started to happen. I started to work the steps, I got a hardass "been there, done that" sponsor and I go to a meeting every day. I also attend my rehab. Soon enough when I stopped trying to run the world and just let my recovery work. Things started to get better. I was slowly unfucking my life and my relationships.

As I type this post I am sitting in my wife's livingroom with my wife and boys. She is starting to trust me again, starting not be afraid to love me and most importantly starting to understand that this is a brain disease not an issue of willpower. My brain is broken, mending, but broken. My boys for so long just wanted me in jail!! They told me that I would be safe there and that they could sleep. How fucked up is that? I put them through the worst hell there is....... loving someone so much and being petrified that I was going to die. My wife told me that when the phone would ring from Florida she was sure it was "the call" that I was found OD'd. Good news is that my boys are like new people! The weight has been lifted, they can be kids again.

Needless to say life is getting better. I am not sure what the future holds but I do know that whatever shit is in the pipeline I will be ready to man the fuck up and deal with it in an accountable, honest and forthright manner. All I can do is be the best person I can be, to put others needs before my selfish desires and to be of service to my world. Step 12. I want to live it. Not there yet, but I will be.

Sorry for the info dump. I have been on this forum since my first Proline 17 all the way through 7 Yellowfins, 3 Cigarettes and numerous exotic cars. Now I am back to zero.... but I am happy with who I am becoming. Anyways, feel free to ask questions.

So for the last 8 years you were a drug user / abuser? You have a house in Aspen and a house in Florida? Sounds like you didn't have any type of support system until August of 18?, what the fuck did the people you deal with daily thought was going on? The doctor who wrote you scripts if you had the cash should be put in jail. Glad you didn't kill anyone in that $75,000 truck of yours when you fell asleep. I'm sorry all of this happened to you, and I hope you make a full recovery. Sounds like your a pretty wealthy guy, you had the cash to keep this going for a long time
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Old 01-06-2019, 02:44 PM
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Originally Posted by burningdaylight View Post

It's amazing how many normal, well adjusted, successful people who have injuries that require pain meds (legitimately) that end up addicted to the meds that are meant to help them.
This really scares me. Unfortunately I have known several people, including 2 close friends who’s story is all too similiar to Brett’s. Educated, from good families, successful careers, loving wives and kids, and just generally good guys and their life gets torn apart.

Thanks for posting Brett, I’m sure your story will Touch someone and maybe even save them from going through the same thing.

stay strong and remember your family, you can always make more money, but another boat or car, but you only get one go round at life with your family.

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Old 01-06-2019, 02:55 PM
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Originally Posted by FASTFJR View Post
So for the last 8 years you were a drug user / abuser? You have a house in Aspen and a house in Florida? Sounds like you didn't have any type of support system until August of 18?, what the fuck did the people you deal with daily thought was going on? The doctor who wrote you scripts if you had the cash should be put in jail. Glad you didn't kill anyone in that $75,000 truck of yours when you fell asleep. I'm sorry all of this happened to you, and I hope you make a full recovery. Sounds like your a pretty wealthy guy, you had the cash to keep this going for a long time
Let's be clear... I am not seeking pity. I am putting this out there so that maybe somebody else who is in active addiction can see that recovery is possible. Moreover, that healthy sobriety brings about positive changes. I am no longer the vain, greedy, self centered asshole that I was for years. That alone is worth the journey. People in my immediate circle were users too in the last year. That's what happens. We surround ourselves with freaks and junkies just to feel better about ourselves.
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Old 01-06-2019, 02:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Brett1 View Post
Let's be clear... I am not seeking pity. I am putting this out there so that maybe somebody else who is in active addiction can see that recovery is possible. Moreover, that healthy sobriety brings about positive changes. I am no longer the vain, greedy, self centered asshole that I was for years. That alone is worth the journey. People in my immediate circle were users too in the last year. That's what happens. We surround ourselves with freaks and junkies just to feel better about ourselves.


I hope you outed the dope pusher doctor you had or at least reported him
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Old 01-06-2019, 03:02 PM
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A complicated situation that may involve others that I probably should not piss off...
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Old 01-06-2019, 03:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Rapi View Post
How are the kids after the crash?

Did I understand correctly that you used the Florida place as a party house? If so, sell it. You'll have some cash in your pocket and the temptation will be gone. When you're back on your feet, buy a house on the other (quiet) side of town, lol!

I will say that I am joining the Brett1 Prayer Club. Since I have come to like SavedByGrace's posts so much, I nominate her to lead the prayers.

BTW, in the midst of all this crap Brett's going through, he actually volunteered to help me get through my own life-destroying problem. Brett, you are not only courageous, you're a good man. Keep going!

Check your PMs for my phone number. Feel free to call/text anytime.

==>Rapi

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Humbled by this
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Old 01-06-2019, 03:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Brett1 View Post
Let's be clear... I am not seeking pity. I am putting this out there so that maybe somebody else who is in active addiction can see that recovery is possible. Moreover, that healthy sobriety brings about positive changes. I am no longer the vain, greedy, self centered asshole that I was for years. That alone is worth the journey. People in my immediate circle were users too in the last year. That's what happens. We surround ourselves with freaks and junkies just to feel better about ourselves.

That is how I perceived your posts.

FASTFJR-
I hope you never have a family struggle with addiction. It is a problem that crosses all socioeconomic barriers. I am not saying this with malice.
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Old 01-06-2019, 03:13 PM
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Originally Posted by FASTFJR View Post


I hope you outed the dope pusher doctor you had or at least reported him
Right now, the best course of action for brother Brett is to take care of himself.
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Old 01-06-2019, 03:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Brett1 View Post
A complicated situation that may involve others that I probably should not piss off...

Hopefully that doc doesn't do what they did to you to someone else
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Old 01-06-2019, 03:16 PM
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Originally Posted by FASTFJR View Post
Hopefully that doc doesn't do what they did to you to someone else
Safe bet he did.
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Old 01-06-2019, 03:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Wavehight View Post
That is how I perceived your posts.

FASTFJR-
I hope you never have a family struggle with addiction. It is a problem that crosses all socioeconomic barriers. I am not saying this with malice.
Been there done that, family, co worker.........never over an 8 year span.
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Old 01-06-2019, 03:26 PM
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Originally Posted by FASTFJR View Post
Been there done that, family, co worker.........never over an 8 year span.

It sucks doesn't it?
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Old 01-06-2019, 03:35 PM
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Brett, I got nothing.... Usually I have some relatable experience or education to post some guidance on an issue....

Your story pained me to read....We all have are paths... Some are a bit more challenging...I find it's always better to put other's needs above your wants...I think it's fantastic you have reestablished a strong relationship with your family.

I only post to share my support for your growth and recovery. I read something you wrote, and I think you have it right....One step at a time...Even the babiest of steps.

Aloha
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