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Sex, drugs and rock and roll without the sex and rock and roll!

Old 01-13-2019, 08:55 AM
  #221  
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Free money to someone in early recovery...?? Someone's just gonna hand you $2500 and help you get out of a bind. Being in a bind is what got you in recovery in the first place. If everything was hunky dory when out there using....we would still not have a clue what happened to you. Having to make amends, make restitution and take a daily inventory are all about getting and maintaining sobriety.

If you are working a program, you must have a sponsor. I would wonder what his thinking is about doing this..?

If you dont have a sponsor or are not attending meetings, you don't really stand a chance. It was all of your best thinking that got you to where you are today.

The fact you are a professional in real life doesn't mean anything to anyone in recovery who is willing to help you. Folks come from Yale, others from Jail...there are all kinds of people in recovery.

NA meetings are full of people with limited sobriety compared to AA meetings. And although not true ten or twenty years ago, they have softened their tone when referencing drugs.
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Last edited by triumphrick; 01-13-2019 at 09:02 AM.
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Old 01-13-2019, 09:36 AM
  #222  
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My program is a 12 step based on AA. I have a sponsor who is really demanding. We are perfect for each other. We spend about 3 hours a week working in the big book and talk daily. I recall my counselor asking me what the difference between Aa and NA was. I thought substance. He said "AA fucking works!". I have done 90 in 90 meetings. I still attend daily M-F and my treatment. I am doing the work. Not begrudgingly either. This stuff makes me feel better.

Hey Rick, I appreciate your concern and thoughts.
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Old 01-13-2019, 10:03 AM
  #223  
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Gotta say I agree with Rick. Let's assume Brett's historical postings are true... living THE life... best of boats, two houses, I mean living the dream. For the record, I have no reason to not believe it and I’m sure Brett has the wherewithal to figure out how to get the truck back without having to let the asshole at the towing company have it. Hell, I’m in the market for one and will purchase it for a fair price, just as many others have already stated.

I know many people who are riding the long road to recovery from drugs and/or alcohol and it is no joke. Many I have known failed to live another day due to their addictions. This is a lifestyle of managing mere seconds of your journey. Get through one second, then the next, then a minute, hour, day and so on without using. Giving an addict money is the absolute worst thing anyone can do for Brett right now.

My unsolicited advice to you is let your wife and sponsor know you are considering taking cash from your friends here via gofundme. If you still want to pursue the GFM route, let someone else handle the money. If everything you wrote is true, you cannot trust yourself to do the right thing right now.

Brett, I wish you the absolute best and will be praying for you. If you need monetary help in a few years, let me know. If you need support now, I’m here for you, but know this.. You have one helluva ride in front of you and a lot of people are counting on you to be stronger than you ever knew you could. Your friends on THT and elsewhere are pulling for you.

You are on the right track. You have the program and family support. You still most likely have significant restitution to make, and/or possibly incarceration (I read the court orders, etc.). Keep yourself away from opportunities for relapse. You are a baby right now, just learning how to walk again. Remove yourself from everything associated with your addiction, including the truck and the house in Florida.

You need to be true to yourself bro…….
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Last edited by JeffSpencer; 01-13-2019 at 10:10 AM. Reason: Grammar
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Old 01-13-2019, 10:11 AM
  #224  
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Good grief the know it alls are coming out of the wordwork the last day or so. If some people on here want to give Brett money they know what they are getting into.
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Old 01-13-2019, 10:23 AM
  #225  
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Originally Posted by bellsisland View Post
Good grief the know it alls are coming out of the wordwork the last day or so. If some people on here want to give Brett money they know what they are getting into.
This has nothing to do with those people losing money, this has to do with enabling an addict.
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Old 01-13-2019, 10:27 AM
  #226  
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if I am doing something wrong here-- please pm and let me know-- should I have made the payment directly to the tow company? Man the last thing I want to do is be part of the problem or make life tougher- or enable a problem.
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Old 01-13-2019, 11:46 AM
  #227  
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Originally Posted by bellsisland View Post
Good grief the know it alls are coming out of the wordwork the last day or so. If some people on here want to give Brett money they know what they are getting into.
I'm just curious....what is your knowledge of working a recovery program? I am risking a lot coming on a forum where I do business with a LOT of people, and basically owning up to a past history of abusing booze and drugs.

Such information could influence whether someone sent me some business or decided not to, based on what they read here.

And neither myself or Spenser had anything to say about the people doing whatever they want.

I think a few folks who have lived through a recovery and are still in it are condemning Brett for taking an easy way out of the shit that is piled up outside his door. This is the shit he needs to dig through to appreciate what lengths he was willing to go through to get sober.

Very few of us make it to the other side. Full recovery from drugs and alcohol is hovering around 10%-20% or so. I have seen many fail for many reasons. Some of what works I would like to pass on to Brett. He could take your advice, which would be the easier, softer way....or he could do everything possible to make it so he would never repeat his past.

But that's not mine or your decision...that is Bretts.
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Old 01-13-2019, 12:36 PM
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Originally Posted by triumphrick View Post
I'm just curious....what is your knowledge of working a recovery program? I am risking a lot coming on a forum where I do business with a LOT of people, and basically owning up to a past history of abusing booze and drugs.

Such information could influence whether someone sent me some business or decided not to, based on what they read here.

And neither myself or Spenser had anything to say about the people doing whatever they want.

I think a few folks who have lived through a recovery and are still in it are condemning Brett for taking an easy way out of the shit that is piled up outside his door. This is the shit he needs to dig through to appreciate what lengths he was willing to go through to get sober.

Very few of us make it to the other side. Full recovery from drugs and alcohol is hovering around 10%-20% or so. I have seen many fail for many reasons. Some of what works I would like to pass on to Brett. He could take your advice, which would be the easier, softer way....or he could do everything possible to make it so he would never repeat his past.

But that's not mine or your decision...that is Bretts.
Rick, I would love to talk to you. I am on the fence on the truck issue. I came on here to testify to my fuck ups in Hope's of helping someone else. The offer to help recapture $20k in equity so the yard owner doesnt just hit the truck lottery seemed like a solid plan. Get it back, fix it and unload it to get something practical and repay my benefactors. Somewhere along the line the idea that I would throw my progress away for $1500 came around. Listen, if I wanted to go back out I would. I dont and I am working daily to make sure I stay true to my recovery. Are there any guarantees? Of course not, we are addicts. But the reality is we deserve a chance to get back on our feet. I didn't come in here looking for anything. I would be in no worse position if I accepted nothing. Likewise, I am in a substantially better position if I accept some help. Will it affect my recovery? Doubtful. But my credibility is shit right now. I get it. You are as good as your last 15 minutes when you are in fuck up mode, but when you are doing well you are only as good as your last 2 years.
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Old 01-13-2019, 01:05 PM
  #229  
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If they guy you are talking to who is working you through recovery is fine with the GoFund me, then have at it. He's the one guy you should be listening to right now.

Every time I went to my sponsor with another great idea, he settled me down and explained the process as he understood it. Nothing was easy. Nothing was done to circumvent the process of a day at a time. No, I could not have the benefits of long term recovery with only 90 days. Or a year.

The harder I had to work, the more obstacles I had to overcome, the more people I had to go face to face with and offer an amends...so be it. Every bit of that is what I had to do to make damn sure that I understood what pain and misery I caused others.

Everyone close to us wants the best for us. Everyone would love to see us back on our feet quickly. Many of the folks we screwed over, when approached in the right manner, seem to want the best for us. I knew several who could give a rats ass what I was doing now.

Good luck!
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Old 01-13-2019, 02:11 PM
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Brett,
AS said before your best thinking got you to where you were before recovery. One of the main concepts of working the steps is to do things someone else's way, and not yours. On the truck and the fund, I strongly suggest you to ask your sponsor for guidance and remove yourself from the decision. Do what your sponsor tells you.
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Old 01-13-2019, 02:18 PM
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Just keep overcoming day by day Brett. We have all had things happen and say Iíll never do that again but reality is sometimes you have the strength and other times you donít. You are on the right track. To those who think you came on here for anything other than giving your testimony, if you look back during the week, someone encouraged Brett to start this thread. He didnít just come on here looking for sympathy and a hand out. Heís giving his testimony and people are offering a hand UP. In the very end, God will either reward us or not reward us according to our actions on this earth. Iím not saying not to give money or to give money, thatís your choice but those who give are doing it out of the goodness of their hearts. I have a had people misuse money Iíve given them but at least I did my part by doing what God laid upon my heart. I sure donít miss the money.
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Old 01-13-2019, 02:26 PM
  #232  
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Keeping you in my prayers. I have an uncle who ruined his life with drugs and alcohol. His marriage ended and has no relationship with his daughter or grandson. I hope you recover, maintain a great relationship with GOD, your family and get your career back.

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Old 01-13-2019, 05:01 PM
  #233  
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I like and agree with the above and appreciate the courage it took to share this Brett. You can do this.
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Old 01-13-2019, 05:04 PM
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Originally Posted by savedbygrace6868 View Post
Just keep overcoming day by day Brett. We have all had things happen and say I’ll never do that again but reality is sometimes you have the strength and other times you don’t. You are on the right track. To those who think you came on here for anything other than giving your testimony, if you look back during the week, someone encouraged Brett to start this thread. He didn’t just come on here looking for sympathy and a hand out. He’s giving his testimony and people are offering a hand UP. In the very end, God will either reward us or not reward us according to our actions on this earth. I’m not saying not to give money or to give money, that’s your choice but those who give are doing it out of the goodness of their hearts. I have a had people misuse money I’ve given them but at least I did my part by doing what God laid upon my heart. I sure don’t miss the money.
Totally agree. God allows us freewill to make decisions. He does not allow us to decide the consequences of those decisions, but by His grace we can overcome and be forgiven.
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Old 01-13-2019, 05:13 PM
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Originally Posted by triumphrick View Post
If they guy you are talking to who is working you through recovery is fine with the GoFund me, then have at it. He's the one guy you should be listening to right now.

Every time I went to my sponsor with another great idea, he settled me down and explained the process as he understood it. Nothing was easy. Nothing was done to circumvent the process of a day at a time. No, I could not have the benefits of long term recovery with only 90 days. Or a year.

The harder I had to work, the more obstacles I had to overcome, the more people I had to go face to face with and offer an amends...so be it. Every bit of that is what I had to do to make damn sure that I understood what pain and misery I caused others.

Everyone close to us wants the best for us. Everyone would love to see us back on our feet quickly. Many of the folks we screwed over, when approached in the right manner, seem to want the best for us. I knew several who could give a rats ass what I was doing now.

Good luck!
^^^^THIS!!^^^^ You can do it Brett, but you have to own it....
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Old 01-13-2019, 05:15 PM
  #236  
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Sponsor has no issues. He feels that there is no difference between this and getting my first paycheck in terms of the risk. If it were $50k it would be different. Gotta face life on life's terms.

Now he did say that if the moral issue of accepting help gives me anxiety then can I deal with it?
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Old 01-13-2019, 05:19 PM
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Brett,

I don't know you, but I know no matter what you have done, God will forgive you if you let him. And I am positive that no matter what hole you are in, you can get out. It might take a long time, but you can have mind over matter and do it. Your honesty about the past is a huge step. Point your life in the direction you want it to go from today forward and do everything you can to keep it pointed that way, and don't give a moment of care to anyone or anything that wants to take you off that course. Take care brother,

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Old 01-13-2019, 05:21 PM
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Thanks Dave.
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Old 01-13-2019, 06:14 PM
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I read through the thread. I am glad to hear that you are making changes and that is not something that many addicts have the strength to do. I hope you live a long happy life with your family.

On the other hand, I read through the court documents from the florida bar when you posted your go fund me with your name. That one made me pretty angry, I am sorry to say. Stealing peoples hard earned money is something that hits hard with me, having been on the losing end of a theif before. I am not a lawyer, but the court documents state pretty clearly that any trust in your name shall be frozen by the courts. Would a go-fund-me account fall under that? I wouldnt want to see innocent people donating money on here thinking that they are helping you get your truck back, and have it frozen by florida courts to pay back money that you stole.

I am sorry to sound harsh. I do truly hope that you can continue your sobriety and live a long, healthy life with your family.
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Old 01-13-2019, 06:40 PM
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The money will not be frozen. I also encourage you to not believe everything you read. I may have been on a bender but I am not stupid. One of the "victims" is the doctor that was collecting cash for scripts.
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