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How much more crap is going to pile on me?

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How much more crap is going to pile on me?

Old 09-09-2018, 01:30 PM
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Default How much more crap is going to pile on me?

Just venting sitting in ICU
SO been here for 10 days with Weeks and weeks to go
fiance is have a rough day. Really not herself and combative
I am driving 200 miles a day between house hospital and work which in opposite directions

so there is a hurricane coming. Kinda been lost her at hospital finally thought to check on Boat. Pulled up cam and my heart sank. Crazy tide was inches away from bottom of Boat. I had left it (didn’t plan on hospital) mid way but we’ll oit of way of high tides. So I was calling everyone I know at river and got a hold of neighbor who was able to raise out of trouble - for now

do I skip time at hospital to pull Boat on land

daughter called for Harrisonburg college- Honda transmission crapped out. Now I have to find a Reputable shop out there!

and also in backgroup is financial and insurance crap from fiancé.

Whooo
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Old 09-09-2018, 01:37 PM
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Sorry to hear about the issues man, I would recommend pulling the boat but find out if anyone will be willing to store it at their place for the storm unless insurance expects it to be at your residence to be insured. That way you pick it up, drop it off and your good friend will prep it for you so you can tet back to the hospital. Does your home need to be battened down as well? If so get that all done now.
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Old 09-09-2018, 01:37 PM
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You can only do one thing at a time. Being there for fiancé is important but realize healing takes time and she needs some rest. Taking care of the boat will take your mind off things for awhile and help with financial problems in the long run. Don't neglect your daughter but remember one can only do so much. Good luck.
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Old 09-09-2018, 01:38 PM
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prioritize, like eating an elephant it won't be pleasant but will get done. just take small bites.
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Old 09-09-2018, 01:38 PM
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Now is the time to “ phone a friend(s)” you will be surprised on the support you get...prayers..
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Old 09-09-2018, 01:39 PM
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Pull the boat if practical.

Tegarding medical billing stuff, let it stack up, and deal with it all at once after shenis out of the hospital. You need all of the billing stuff in front of you at once along with the associated EOB’s. Don’t just pay the bill when it comes in. Given the totality of her situation it should be an out of pocket max scenario, so just kick the can for a while. Also don’t sign for personal responsibility yourself. That’s not to say I am encouraging you skating on the bill, but that you/your fiancé are in a better position to negotiate if they can’t chase after you.
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Old 09-09-2018, 01:45 PM
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I know you are venting, so not much advice to be given except for one piece. In my many years of working with brain injury programs I would tell you that the most important thing you can do is take care of yourself first. If your SO is at a point where you can leave her for periods of time to deal with life’s other issues you must do so. Otherwise sh*t will build up to another point where you won’t have any/much control or decision making options.

As as the saying goes, this is a marathon and you need to pace yourself to complete it. Wishing you all the best.
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Old 09-09-2018, 01:57 PM
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Originally Posted by txj33p View Post
I know you are venting, so not much advice to be given except for one piece. In my many years of working with brain injury programs I would tell you that the most important thing you can do is take care of yourself first. If your SO is at a point where you can leave her for periods of time to deal with life’s other issues you must do so. Otherwise sh*t will build up to another point where you won’t have any/much control or decision making options.

As as the saying goes, this is a marathon and you need to pace yourself to complete it. Wishing you all the best.
This is good advice. My dad had several hemorrhagic strokes (similar to aneurysm). Brain injuries are definitely a marathon. Not much you can do right now but wait. Take care of yourself while your fiance is getting care. There will be a point where she will need you and it will be tough if you wear yourself out now.
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Old 09-09-2018, 02:09 PM
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Best wishes man!
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Old 09-09-2018, 02:10 PM
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Originally Posted by colostomizer View Post
prioritize, like eating an elephant it won't be pleasant but will get done. just take small bites.
great now he needs a 55 gallon drum of barbecue sauce

but you are right. 1 thing at a time
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Old 09-09-2018, 02:21 PM
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Op post on here what you need done and where.

You will be pleasantly surprised.

Take care of yourself bro it can be overwhelming. You will get through it and so will she.
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Old 09-09-2018, 02:24 PM
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Yes - ask for help. I have been amazed at what people on this forum will do for others in a jam. Good luck with your situation and again do not hesitate to post up your needs and I feel certain you will get p.m.'s from people looking to assist.
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Old 09-09-2018, 02:28 PM
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Wife will be fine in the Hospital,I'm sure She will understand You needing to pull the Boat with an impending Hurricane..Pull Boat and that will be a bit of relief...Go back to Hospital and see Wife...While there take a break and find a Trans. shop for Your Daughter. One thing at a time.. Really sorry to hear You having to go thru all this at one time. Been there and it probably won't be the last time. Prayers to ya' !
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Old 09-09-2018, 02:33 PM
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What area is your boat located?
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Old 09-09-2018, 02:33 PM
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Originally Posted by txj33p View Post
I know you are venting, so not much advice to be given except for one piece. In my many years of working with brain injury programs I would tell you that the most important thing you can do is take care of yourself first. If your SO is at a point where you can leave her for periods of time to deal with life’s other issues you must do so. Otherwise sh*t will build up to another point where you won’t have any/much control or decision making options.

As as the saying goes, this is a marathon and you need to pace yourself to complete it. Wishing you all the best.

As said above, this is good advice. The wife and I went through something like this with our son, a series of serious strokes on his 8th birthday in January, followed by an entire summer of rehabilitation in a city 120 miles away. I kept my sanity by getting to work every day and making things happen there. My job provided the medical insurance that covered our son, so I wanted to excel in my job to make sure I kept it...and did through 5 mass layoffs. We've been caring for him for 33 years. Pacing yourself, giving yourself a break from the medical issues from time to time is critical to your well-being. It isn't being selfish, it's being realistic. How can you help her if your well-being goes to hell?

WRT your daughter's Honda, ask yourself if she really needs that car to attend college or is it just "nice to have". If the latter, what does it hurt (other than her mobility) to let the car sit for 3-6 months?
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Last edited by yarcraft91; 09-09-2018 at 02:50 PM.
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Old 09-09-2018, 02:40 PM
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Vent. It is good for you. Now, don't give up. Hang in there. You will get through this. Ask for some of the guys in Va. if one can pull your boat or see if one of the local Marin's will pull it.
Rent a car till you can get the h0nda looked at.
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Old 09-09-2018, 02:59 PM
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Don't be afraid to vent or ask for help. The members here are a great group. I vented and received a lot of help here when I needed it. It was amazing to be honest. Never doubted my man card for a second @

For your daughter, she can Uber or Lyft for a while or catch rides with friends.

Billing wise, you'll hit your out of pocket max. Give it a month or so. It's a mess you don't have to deal with now.
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Old 09-09-2018, 03:18 PM
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When you feel sorry for yourself like this, ask if you'd rather change places with your SO.
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Old 09-09-2018, 03:22 PM
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I swear I am venting. Not whining

Boat is on lower Potomac. Yes I told my daughter I will reimburse her for Uber’s until I can get her Car swapped out or fixed

so as of now I am going make the 90 mike trip from hospital to work butt early. Leave work early and then grab truck and see it I can pull cat out by myself
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Old 09-09-2018, 03:26 PM
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Rock, you have always struck me as the, get it done kind of guy. Don't allow yourself to get everything going on right now overcome you. Tomorrow is a new day and things might very easily turn around for you. As others have said feel free to vent here, it does seem to help sometimes.
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