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-   -   Anyone have a child with debilitating anxiety? at whits end.. (https://www.thehulltruth.com/dockside-chat/942257-anyone-have-child-debilitating-anxiety-whits-end.html)

mymojo 06-28-2018 03:13 PM

Anyone have a child with debilitating anxiety? at whits end..
 
I know it's a fishing forum but I am at whit's end trying to understand what my daughter is experiencing. She's a beautiful 17 y.o., very intelligent, friendly but always has been reserved and quiet. For the past three years she has had sporadic panic attacks during some stress-full school-related times but they seemed to go away fairly quickly and they were triggered by some identifiable issues. Recently she has left 2 summer jobs after suffering what I would call full blown panic attacks (crying, scratching, skin rashes, repeatedly bumping into walls) when faced with going to her part time job. She has been to counseling for a year and most recently been to a psychiatrist who put her on some meds which we all hoped would help but tonight we had another melt down and she could not go to work. I am at a complete loss - I want my kids to be happy, she's a year away from going to college and it seems she will not be able to handle it. SHe is depressed and sad and I don't know what to do, I just have never had to deal with something like this and am ill equipped to help her. Has anyone been through this???

savedbygrace6868 06-28-2018 03:16 PM

All I can offer is prayer for her and you.

shadco 06-28-2018 03:31 PM

.

Christ yes I feel for you. She started at 16. Drugs didn’t end up helping, bipolar, lost what should have been her most fun years. It went deep significant time in treatment facilities, good expensive ones. They helped a little with coping skills she was paralyzed with anxiety at certain points. 4 years or so in she started to use some coping skills, thank you Austen Riggs, then She discovered diet and excercise along with recognizing when she need to pull back.

Focus on the smallest accomplishments baby steps

Now she is a field guide for wilderness therapy group in Utah after graduating college.

You have to give them all the support you can as long as it helps development.

bless you and good luck.

.

mymojo 06-28-2018 03:42 PM

Thank you both.

Boat Hound 06-28-2018 03:55 PM

I am no expert and I know there are many many causes for panic attacks. But I am the father of an anxious 16 yo son. It doesn’t sound like to the same degree as your daughter, but he couldn’t handle scooping ice cream as a summer job last year. He was bad.

Getting him him away from the phone and electronics seems to help him. It’s not the end all be all, but it seems to allow him to come alive. I also have been working out with him, which seems to take the edge off him. He now goes to the gym by himself daily. That got him out of a funk enough to apply for a lifeguard job at a water park. He crushed the test, and is up to 3 saves this year. Overall he has some swagger and seems happier. Not that he doesn’t still have his moments, but he is a lot better. His anxiety is to the point he can go out with friends without the breakdown and bailing at the last minute. It wasn’t one thing but a bunch of little things building over time.

I know now a lot of this can be chemical too, which none of this would help (except maybe the excercise a little). Just my experience and hope it helps.

JCM 1420 06-28-2018 03:58 PM

Not a child, but close family member.

It took me a long time to even start to understand what they are going through because it is the opposite of how I function.

I’m sorry I have no advice, but I will be praying for you, it can be a lot for family to handle.

shadco 06-28-2018 04:09 PM


Originally Posted by mymojo (Post 11561631)
Thank you both.

By the way she is now 29. There is light at the end of the tunnel but you get to put in a lot of hard work along with her.

.

savage 06-28-2018 04:09 PM

I got nothing, other than it's time for her to spend lots of time hanging with responsible, reliable and competent functioning adults.
See some good examples of people who thrive, rather than retreat or medicate endlessly.

Could be found through your friends, possibly family, Maybe the church, Maybe civic organizations,or volunteer work with good people.

Jace1022 06-28-2018 04:09 PM

Have her sign up for a gym membership, as that’s a great way for her to relieve stress and build confidence, as well as grow and maintain a positive body image. This seems to be really big now, but getting someone to love themself for being who they are, seems like the best way to break someone out of a depression... go to the gym with her, have a sibling or a friend go with her, etc.. compliment her, tell her you’ve seen improvements in her figure. (“you look more toned up sweetheart”)

im not a doctor by any means but I have helped friends from depression before. It all starts with them being happy with themselves first.

Commocean 06-28-2018 04:12 PM

My late little brother, who died unexpectedly of a heart attack at 48 years young, suffered from this for the last 30 years of his life, though he didn't open up about it until he was in his 30's. I didn't realize how much he struggled with it. For years I always wondered why he'd resist doing things like going out to dinner, and when we did go out, he acted like a porcupine in a balloon factory.. He finally went to a physician that got him on the right drug therapy which literally changed his life, albeit sadly too late. It seems diagnosis, and more so, treatment can be complex and almost exploratory. In my brothers case, it was well out of the scope of traditional therapy, as it was certainly caused by some form of "chemical imbalance" that was ultimately helped/corrected by the proper medication.

You have quite a bit to explore/research I imagine, and the answer is out there in some way, shape or form.

sullivan504 06-28-2018 04:15 PM

You might ask your GP for a referral to a different psychiatrist. Current one might be treating for the wrong diagnosis. Or it could be that the meds need to be adjusted until you find the right combo to help her.

My kid has some significant developmental disabilities overlaid with anxiety problems, but has been doing as well as we can hope with managed meds and the watchful eyes of Mom & Dad. There's another family member, older, (not going to be more specific in a searchable forum- sorry) who has issues which sound similar to what you describe. Finding the right meds has been a years-long process, and there are setbacks like when the insurance company decides to substitute a "similar" script.

Mental illness sucks, and there's a pretty heavy stigma attached to it. An ex girlfriend of mine is doing the best she can with it, but it's basically ended any hope of what we THTers like to think of as a 'normal' life. I think she would be better off today (in her 50's) if there had been more family support, although I'm personally really glad to have dodged that bullet. Be supportive and be ready for a long fight with a lot of shitty days mixed in. Good luck.

Another point: if her issues are so debilitating that you may be looking into long-term care, consult a special needs attorney NOW. The laws are different in Mass, but here in LA we have something called a Continuing Tutorship, which extends your legal parental authority (full or partial, depending on the situation) after the child with a disability turns 18. It's handy for setting up trusts and managing funds, especially if they need public assistance. The paperwork MUST be complete and registered with the state before the child turns 18. It can be set up as a revocable document, and there are versions of this which can be entered into like a contract after legal adulthood is reached, but it's a hell of a lot harder to do. [I'm not an attorney, but the Admiral is, and this is her specialty.] Some real shitshows could have been avoided if the parent still had parental authority when things got really bad for the adult child.

mymojo 06-28-2018 04:40 PM

Thank you all for the support via this thread and pm's. It is gratifying to know there are others that have dealt and are dealing with type of issue. From my point of view she has it all, good look, smart, kind generous never wanted for anything and my personality is very different from hers so I have trouble understanding what the problem could possibly be. My friend is the psychiatrist that saw her when my wife and I where struggling with this last weekend - he saw her as a friend of mine and at a moment's notice so he is not the long-term answer for her but helped in a pinch. We will be seeking more help this week. Like I said earlier I just want my kids to be happy and it kills me to see this without being able to come up with an answer quickly. I think the worst and hope for the best. We'll get through this and thank everyone once again - your support and advice and prayers do mean a lot.

DrDanH 06-28-2018 04:48 PM


Originally Posted by mymojo (Post 11561550)
I know it's a fishing forum but I am at whit's end trying to understand what my daughter is experiencing. She's a beautiful 17 y.o., very intelligent, friendly but always has been reserved and quiet. For the past three years she has had sporadic panic attacks during some stress-full school-related times but they seemed to go away fairly quickly and they were triggered by some identifiable issues. Recently she has left 2 summer jobs after suffering what I would call full blown panic attacks (crying, scratching, skin rashes, repeatedly bumping into walls) when faced with going to her part time job. She has been to counseling for a year and most recently been to a psychiatrist who put her on some meds which we all hoped would help but tonight we had another melt down and she could not go to work. I am at a complete loss - I want my kids to be happy, she's a year away from going to college and it seems she will not be able to handle it. SHe is depressed and sad and I don't know what to do, I just have never had to deal with something like this and am ill equipped to help her. Has anyone been through this???

I'm a clinical psychologist, and have been working in the mental health field since 1990. I understand your concern for your daughter and your wish to make life good for her.

People do not realize how debilitating anxiety can be. We have all experienced situational anxiety (e.g., getting nervous before giving a speech), but for people with severe anxiety and/or panic, it can occur out of nowhere.

Anxiety is treatable. The best advice vice I can give is to take her for a thorough psychological evaluation (to help clarify her diagnosis, if this has not already been done), then find both the most experienced psychiatrist and most experienced psychologist in your area to treat her. It may take some time and patience to find the most effective medication regimen. Later, finding her a support group (maybe online initially) would help her see she's not alone.

Feel free to PM me if I can be of any help.

schoolsout1 06-28-2018 05:05 PM

My fiancé has a good bit of anxiety...I’m about to buy her a cbd vape pen. May be a thought. She’s not bad, but has had a panic or two and has bad ocd issues, but not bad enough where it is out of control, IMO. More of an annoyance.

Nolabama 06-28-2018 05:17 PM

X2 on CBD oil. Can't hurt to try it right. It helps me.

dmeswi 06-28-2018 06:13 PM

My daughter started with these mental issues when she was in high school. Been battling anxiety and depression for years. She is 39 now and an alcoholic on top of things. Just put her through 6 weeks of detox and rehab.. I have had people to say I have to let her go, I have to let her hit rock bottom, but I can't do that. I will not enable her but I will do everything in my power to help her for the sake of our 13 year old granddaughter. Man, I feel your pain and wish there was some easy solution.

DotRotten 06-28-2018 06:18 PM

No answers but best wishes to all that shared thier story in this thread.

t500hps 06-28-2018 06:28 PM

My oldest son (22) had a collection of problems that lead me to kicking him out on the street. He spent time with friends, then my mother (500 miles away), then my father (local) which is where I thought he'd ended up from the start. (FWIW: EVERYONE in our extended family agreed it was the only way to get through to him).

Anyway, due to the forced change put on him he finally agreed to spend time in counseling and was eventually diagnosed with a form of Autism/Aspergers. While it sucks to think your "perfect" kid has an issue, it's really helped as we learn more about it and how to deal with how HE thinks. He's moved back in my house, attending a "computer specific" college and regularly seeing a counselor without being forced to go. You've got a long road ahead and I wish you the best. Stick to professionals and be willing to see different ones as they really specialize in many different areas of expertise. We were fortunate that the first 2 he went to see eventually directed us into other counselors better suited for his needs.

Hayden01 06-28-2018 06:45 PM

Hang in there man. I have pretty severe anxiety and it can be very tough on everyone. Going out to eat, movies, new places are some of my triggers, just to name a few.

sea nymph 06-28-2018 06:52 PM


Originally Posted by schoolsout1 (Post 11561848)
My fiancé has a good bit of anxiety...I’m about to buy her a cbd vape pen. May be a thought. She’s not bad, but has had a panic or two and has bad ocd issues, but not bad enough where it is out of control, IMO. More of an annoyance.

Not to be d**k or derail the thread, but a fiancé with panic and OCD issues is trouble for you down the road, especially if you have kids. It's progressive and only gets worse. The negative effects are unimageable and I'd be happy to share my experiences over a phone call. So, to tie this into the OP's thread, my one daughter suffers from anxiety due to my wife's severe OCD. As a manner of fact, at 5:00 am this morning a terrible thunder storm came through and the panic attacks came alive. She woke all up screaming and crying hysterically. Hard for me to understand as I don't have a lot of patience!


CruiseToFish 06-28-2018 06:53 PM

Do not underestimate the internal depression, no matter how gorgeous they are or how easy life is for them. You do not understand if you haven't been there. For me as a kid I literally wouldn't go into a store or leave the car to go to the beach. Good friends were what helped me through it. At 19 in college I started training in aikido and that helped a lot. I've worked form home writing software since 2003, so yeah, I don't like offices and people in general, but I'm getting over that at 41 now.

spraynet 1 06-28-2018 06:53 PM

While I have zero experience with mentoring females, I've certainly noticed some very important difference between those I do mentor, ( overwhelmingly, urban, black youth, gang kids) and white males the same age. In all my 34 years I have NEVER witnessed a boy of mine have any anxiety or depression related problems! IMO it has everything to do with the differences between the stresses of social media, family expectations, and lack of any exercise! My boys, are ALL in very good shape, they don't care what anyone thinks, and are all very arrogant!
White boys that same age......Most get No exercise and therefore are in horrible shape, they care what anyone and everyone thinks, and have zero confidence and swagger. All leading to a kid with poor social skills, fear, anxiety, and depression. It's far worse for females!

Again, IMO...young women generally do not get any exercise at all. They live on they're phones, hanging on each and every word from their peer group, and feel the pressures and/or expectations of their families MUCH greater then their male counterparts in general.

IMO what your daughter needs is several weeks away from any cell phones, computers, and the stresses of everyday life and simply re-connect with herself. There are many program nationwide that do just that and are fairly successful because the young adult is isolated from all the crap and garbage in today's world, and starts to understand what's really important in life, they begin to gain confidence and strength, and learn more about themselves in a few weeks then the previous 17 years!

Just a thought!

Brad1 06-28-2018 06:55 PM

I had a minor problem with panic attacks that was corrected by medication. Prior to the medication, several nights a week I would wake up in the middle of the night with my heart racing so fast I thought it was going to bust out of my chest. Do you think it might be something what would warrant a neurological exam? Maybe there's something neurological that's triggering the anxiety. I'm only mentioning that because my oldest Son started experiencing seizures a few years ago (also under control due to medication) and during the course of all the tests they ran, it began to seem (to me at least) that there so many conditions that can exist and they can manifest themselves in so many different ways.

I really hope you're able to get your Daughter's anxiety issues worked out.

OldPete 06-28-2018 07:00 PM

First, I sincerely will say a prayer for your daughter tonight. It has to be really hard... I have two little ones - and just turning 10 and 8... so I have a while to go. I can see my son worrying at times - not to the point of a panic attack, but it's tough. He likely had too much going on a while back (Black belt, school, etc.)...

My best advice? And you might think I'm crazy. But do you think she'd have interest in martial arts? I'm serious. Stop laughing. It really is a HUGE help. If nothing else, a lot of places have "intro" deals that are usually free or almost free. See if she's willing. There is something about it... hard to quantify on a forum. But if you think she might be interested, I have to say -- it really puts my kids in the "right" mind. It doesn't matter if she's "fit" or not. It's NOT just about that.

Try and find a family type place not a "McDojo"... let them know what's going on with her. I truly believe it works. My son has been doing it for over 6 years, and my daughter is coming up on her 5th. They're hard-core, but your kid doesn't have to be unless she wants to be.

Good luck. Feel free to PM or whatever. I hope there would be someone there for me if this was my kid.

schoolsout1 06-28-2018 07:30 PM


Originally Posted by sea nymph (Post 11562145)


Not to be d**k or derail the thread, but a fiancé with panic and OCD issues is trouble for you down the road, especially if you have kids. It's progressive and only gets worse. The negative effects are unimageable and I'd be happy to share my experiences over a phone call. So, to tie this into the OP's thread, my one daughter suffers from anxiety due to my wife's severe OCD. As a manner of fact, at 5:00 am this morning a terrible thunder storm came through and the panic attacks came alive. She woke all up screaming and crying hysterically. Hard for me to understand as I don't have a lot of patience!


always a thought in the back of my mind, but my gal ain't so bad. Really picked up when her mom passed away about 4 years ago. Her OCD is more on the "safety" side like checking doors 10x each before going to bed...making sure range/oven is off 10x....me waiting on her for 10 mins while she stares at outlets in the bathroom making sure nothing is plugged in (I'm pretty sure several women I know, also, bring hair straighteners/curlers/whatever with them) so the house doesn't catch on fire kinda thing.

Meanwhile, I'm in the back yard throwing cups of gasoline on the fire to get it going...I think I contribute to the situation just a little bit. She's "diffused" a situation once, so I hear about it every time I want to do something.

louiefl 06-28-2018 07:42 PM

Your brain will f**k you over for no real reason resulting in these debilitating panic attacks. Knew someone with this that came out of nowhere in their 30's and was fine around the house, but couldn't go into a grocery store without tripping the flee part of the fight or flee state. Couldn't ride in public transport, stadiums and other wide open spaces were a problem. Drunk, she had no problems. Finally got through it with immersion therapy. Couldn't ride on a city bus for 15 minutes, but could ride from one stop to the next one and get off. When she realized she wasn't going to die, was able to ride a couple stops, and pretty soon riding a bus wasn't a trigger. Little by little was able to get through all of the triggers and isn't bothered any longer, though took 5 years. Trick is to find out what these triggers are and to slowly put yourself in positions that cause a trigger for short periods.

willie g 06-28-2018 08:01 PM

I have not, a friend of mines daughter had major issues at college. When they found out they went to the school to find out they had a make shift psych ward consulting type center that you almost couldn’t get appointments to (full of students). They took her out for a semester and then brought her back in state

Cjfla 06-28-2018 08:43 PM

Many would argue the cusp of adulthood is the most stressful times of our lives. College, career, leaving home, leaving the family & childhood friends, being alone for the 1st time, pressure of grades, college social constructs.....the list goes on.

A few years ago I sat down with my 20 year old & related how frightened I was at the above issues, how I coped with them and how I struggled with them. Then I mentioned how I always had my family to fallback on. I now have a junior in college that frequently calls me to talk about failures and successes and how to keep moving forward regardless of what life throws at you.

mymojo 06-28-2018 09:32 PM

Thank you all once again-can't sleep tonight so reading the thoughts and experiences of everyone here gives me some comfort. She has recently joined a gym and is in great shape as she is in our local hs marching band so stays in good shape from that. She's sleeping now but still very upset and anxious about giving up this latest job. We talked about her volunteering at a local place for something to do during the summer as she is very concerned about sitting around all summer while her friends are out working so we'll look into opportunities for that tomorrow. Thanks again to everyone that has reached out.

savage 06-28-2018 10:17 PM

Stay strong.
Stay positive.

Take her fishing.

crazybeard 06-29-2018 01:08 AM


Originally Posted by schoolsout1 (Post 11562259)
always a thought in the back of my mind, but my gal ain't so bad. Really picked up when her mom passed away about 4 years ago. Her OCD is more on the "safety" side like checking doors 10x each before going to bed...making sure range/oven is off 10x....me waiting on her for 10 mins while she stares at outlets in the bathroom making sure nothing is plugged in (I'm pretty sure several women I know, also, bring hair straighteners/curlers/whatever with them) so the house doesn't catch on fire kinda thing.

Meanwhile, I'm in the back yard throwing cups of gasoline on the fire to get it going...I think I contribute to the situation just a little bit. She's "diffused" a situation once, so I hear about it every time I want to do something.

untreated it can progress to much worse. Look at it this way. She's checking door locks repeatedly because her internal anxiety is so high that she is literally worrying about it repeatedly. Heaven forbid something like a burglary happens and she has no coping skills for it. She might not be able to ever sleep in the same house again.

That's an extreme but it can get there if left unchecked. You're already describing anxiety that has is manifesting as obsessive behavior.

RussH 06-29-2018 02:05 AM

We went through some "stuff" with our daughter when she turned 16. It was the worst part of our lives, all we wanted was for her to be happy. I posted a tiny bit of the turmoil we were going through but what I posted was nothing compared to what we actually went through. I have a very hard time understanding mental issues like anxiety attacks or panic attacks, I just don't get it because I have never experienced anything like it.

I am no one to give advice, just try to support her and make sure you are always going to be there and you will never abandon her. Some how we got through it so I will be praying that you find a way to get through it too.

mymojo 06-29-2018 02:21 AM


Originally Posted by savage (Post 11562482)
Stay strong.
Stay positive.

Take her fishing.

Thank you - we are heading out on the boat tomorrow to Martha's Vineyard - she's agreed to come with a couple friends which is rare - I think it's been two years since she's been on the boat.

olsaltydog 06-29-2018 03:49 AM

Absolutely, stay strong, stay positive, be the pillar of support your daughter needs. Like many I myself find it hard to relate to those that experience these things but I have found that you don't need to relate to them, you need to understand them, give them some time, but also support. My mother has depression that has come within the last 10 years. Menopause, breast cancer and a few other issues has taking their toll and even she will admit on her good days that she is probably chemically off. I can't understand it because even just the thought of laying in bed all day I cannot comprehend, but I understand that she isn't in the same mindset as me or the same mindset of who she was 15 years ago. So I give her patience and support, I call her more often to check on her and invite to things if even just lunch.

I have also experienced this with others being we have a pretty good military population in the area, not all suffer the same but some are similar. Exercise seems to be a pretty good activity for many, many also seem to find any sort of hobby activity like fishing, shooting, exercise, etc seems to be a pretty good thing to get into. It seems to help them and gets them some form of therapeutic release. Good luck and wish you the best.

TorFed 06-29-2018 03:54 AM

Not a child, but I have had anxiety on a similar scale to that since I was a child. Bad when I was very young and resurfaced around 20.

I'm a big believer in the concept of therapy as well as meds used together. A therapeutic (daily) medication is a good band aid during the time it can take the therapy to really be helpful (not what you will want to hear, but this is often 1-3 years and 2-5 therapists). An as needed med for panic attacks such as xanax or lorazepam for when appropriate and needed. Generally the meds help while a therapist tries to find a source and management tool or solution to the root cause of the anxiety. This can take a while.

I have gone from unable to leave my house from anxiety, to meds and therapy, to just therapy, to healthy for a few years, to back to meds and therapy etc... Realistically, it doesn't fully go away, just the way some of us are wired. I'll probably always see a therapist weekly for most of my life. It is just helpful.

Exercise helps, as do breathing exercises. Also look into biofeedback therapy. That was very helpful for me.

Try to not get frustrated or angry with her when anxiety gets in the way. You forcing her to 'face it' is not a good idea. Leave that to a therapists suggestion. You doing either of those things will create another source for anxiety when she needs to view you and her home as a comfortable home base.

WalkingTheDocks 06-29-2018 03:55 AM

Exercise is far and away one of the best treatments, and many doctors won't even prescribe drugs without also detailing an exercise plan as well.

In addition, I would make sure she's talking with a good therapist. There are many kinds of treatments and approaches to this type of condition, and it's important that your daughter finds one that resonates with her.

I would also find a forum or support group for parents going through the same with their kids so that you can be better understanding, I think it's a difficult thing to comprehend unless you experience it as well. Some sort of support / education group would be good for you I think.

rocksandblues 06-29-2018 04:25 AM

Pm me your number if you want to talk.
My incredible youngest daughter had/has anxiety issues. It CAN be controlled and worked through but it can be scary.
fwiw she graduated from HS with a 4.25 and is going to William and Mary in the fall.

Locke N Load 06-29-2018 07:01 AM

Recognizing and accepting the situation is the first step. It is good that you have. Determining the cause, if there is one, is the next step. Figuring out and implementing a plan to deal with the issues is next. It may take some tinkering or it may take a lot of tinkering, but it can be done.

For me it is social anxiety. In my mid twenties I started feeling very anxious when out in public surrounded by many people. Being in a bar/night club or a sporting stadium or even public transportation was torture. I felt like there was going to be some sort of emergency and I would not be able to escape. So I avoided any type of such a situation. Then what should have been less stressful situations were just as bad. Sitting in a conference room for a meeting with six people. Going out to dinner in a small restaurant. I knew there was a real problem when my heart would be racing, I was sweating, breathing heavy and would have been fine with cutting off an arm to be able to just run away. I talked to my doctor and he prescribed an SSRI drug. Within a week I felt fine. There were a few instances in the early times of near anxiety, but none in a long time since. 20 years later and I am taking the same prescription. It can be dealt with. Good luck.

muskamoot 06-29-2018 07:02 AM

DO NOT RULE OUT DIET!!!!! My kids all have gluten allergies.Some of the symptoms can be downright scary,even to the point of being suicidal.If you are of European descent,it is more common.I have seen firsthand the dramatic changes in personality when the gluten allergy is discovered and they go gluten free.Is it a common thing? Yes it is,Do some people treat it as a diet fad?,Yes they do,BUT for the truly affected,eliminating gluten can literally be a lifesaver.Just throwing this out there from personal experience.

mattttt25 06-29-2018 07:09 AM

- A lot of people, from all walks of life, deal with anxiety and panic attacks. More than you can imagine. Many are afraid to share it with their family and friends, so you don't realize how prevalent it is.
- Experiencing attacks or general anxiety doesn't mean you are depressed or suicidal. People that have great lives and minimal stress can still have them.
- Always rule out other, more serious medical conditions (heart issues, etc).
- There are numerous drug options that can reduce or eliminate attacks. These drugs don't need to make you a zombie or change your personality. They can simply make the attacks go away.
- You don't need to stay on the drugs forever. Many people can slowly ween off of them after a year or so, and often don't experience attacks again.

Best of luck. Please discuss all of this with your daughter's primary care physician, and get her some help.


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