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Old 07-23-2006, 07:59 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: North Myrtle Beach SC
Posts: 8,045
Default Jokes

Amy, a blonde Texan city girl, marries a Texas rancher.

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows the
rancher says to Amy, "The artificial insemination man is
coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I
drove a nail into the two-by-four just above the cow's
stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when
he gets here ... okay?"

"Sure enough", says Amy.

So the rancher leaves for the fields.

After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives, and
knocks on the front door.

Amy greets him, and takes him down to the barn.

They walk along long rows of cows, and when she sees
the nail, she tells him, "This is the one ... right here."

Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just
might be another ditzy blonde, the man asks, "Tell me,
little lady, how did you know this is the cow to be bred?"

"That's simple. By the nail over its stall", Amy explains
very confidently.

Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"

She turns to walk away, and with complete confidence,
answers, "I guess it's to hang your pants on .."Re;
************************************************** *****


A PLANE IS ON IT'S WAY TO HOUSTON WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS

> UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

>

> THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.

>

> SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT

> SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.

>

> THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON

> AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

>

> THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE

> CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS THAT

> BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

>

> THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT

> BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN

> TO HER SEAT.

>

> THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON

> AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

>

> THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE

> WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN

> TO REASON.

>

> THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS. I'M

> MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."

>

> HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH,

> I'M SORRY." AND SHE GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.

>

> THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE

> SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.

>

> THE PILOT SAYS " I TOLD HER FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO HOUSTON."


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