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Inviting new guys can be a PITA. I think I'm done being nice and offering.

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Inviting new guys can be a PITA. I think I'm done being nice and offering.

Old 06-01-2018, 07:34 AM
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Default Inviting new guys can be a PITA. I think I'm done being nice and offering.

Guy lives down the street from me, 4 houses down. I've had my boat since 2007 and he's been saying he would like to come and fish " . . . anytime. Just let me know and I can take the day off as I'm retired but for this part time job. I think he works for something like AAA on the roads to keep them safe. About a month ago, the day before I find a great day to go, I tell him I'm leaving in the morning and he tells me I have to give him more of a notice, as if I'm his employee and he is the boss. I'm not going to bother asking him anymore as later in the day he stops on his way home and I tell him it was a banner day and that it is hard giving any sort of notice as I never know if the day is going to get green lighted until the day before for the most part.

I can understand, a notice is nice, at least la few days and maybe I should as I have with others in the past like today, I might say, " . . . Monday is looking good. Can you maybe go?"

Then the guys from my work, oh my. They say " . . . let me know and I'm there." Then the days come and I let them know and I get excuses. Oh well. No more asking, that simple and it is nothing to me.

Anyone else go through this?
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Old 06-01-2018, 07:46 AM
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Yes, yes, and yes. Good news is, boat works just as well with just me on it as do the cold beers in the cooler. Fk em.
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Old 06-01-2018, 08:01 AM
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There's a never-ending supply of those "I'd love to go, just let me know when" guys out there. I have no desire to deal with them and will fly solo rather than suffer through the aggravation.
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Old 06-01-2018, 08:04 AM
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You give him night's notice and think it's sufficient bc he's semi-retired. He could've had a bbq to go to, dr, or favorite tv show...or work! Don't get your panties in a twist.

Guys at work - some people just like to say things to make conversation. They don't ever think it's going to happen and have no actual intention of going. Ask them any old time whether you're going or not just for fun. Don't have to worry, they'll always be declining.
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Old 06-01-2018, 08:06 AM
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Yep happens to mostly everyone at some point I bet.

People just dont get it..fishing trips are 100% weather dependent, and marine weather changes by the hour. Most of the time we dont know if we are going until the day before, so advanced notices are impossible.
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Old 06-01-2018, 08:08 AM
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Originally Posted by Cobia 217 View Post
There's a never-ending supply of those "I'd love to go, just let me know when" guys out there.

X A million. They usually have zero idea of the cost to run a trip and no thought of pitching in, are constantly moving when underway, underfoot and in the way when you're trying to anchor, tie up to the dock or work a big fish and constantly swinging hooks thru the cockpit and banging 8 oz egg weights on your sweat equity shiny gel coat. My favorite part is the invitation you extend to them means they show up with a brother in law/cousin/friend, The list goes on and on and on.
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Old 06-01-2018, 08:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Budget View Post
You give him night's notice and think it's sufficient bc he's semi-retired. He could've had a bbq to go to, dr, or favorite tv show...or work! Don't get your panties in a twist.

Guys at work - some people just like to say things to make conversation. They don't ever think it's going to happen and have no actual intention of going. Ask them any old time whether you're going or not just for fun. Don't have to worry, they'll always be declining.
The funny thing is, I do let everyone know that at best, I can give them the day or night before and they are all ok with it. Then when it is time to go and I let them know, I get the "How dare you NOT give me more advance notice . . . " as if I can control the weather/seas.

The problem sure is not great and not really my problem. They don't want to go, I no longer ask. The solution is just simple as I'm the Captain.

Has anyone ever had them, after a trip, and you let them know you caught fish, ask for some? My gosh. I suppose it can't hurt to ask, but it can.

Maybe you are right, Budget, that I need to Man-Up and get to handle rejection better. Maybe it is because I'm a lousy person and no one would want to go with me and my lame boat anyway-ha!

Last edited by thundra; 06-01-2018 at 08:15 AM.
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Old 06-01-2018, 08:13 AM
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Learned this from my dad, boat leaves at X time whether you are there or not. I cant tell you how many times we pulled away from the dock at 4 am only to see headlights pulling in at 4:05, my father never turned around and the guys that really wanted to go were never late again. I do usually give a couple days notice but I'm going no matter what if the weather is right.
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Old 06-01-2018, 08:16 AM
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I have a rule that I have been using for many years. To the people who say let me know I would love to go. I give them 3 chances then after that they are done for good never an invite ever again. I also have another rule, you stand me up at the dock or the night before and you never ever get another invite.
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Old 06-01-2018, 08:17 AM
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Originally Posted by BaBa Bouy View Post
I do usually give a couple days notice but I'm going no matter what if the weather is right.
x2 The guys I usually fish with (who also have boats - 24 and 25 footers) do the same. If I'm going with them, they'll let me know what days they're considering and if I'm able, I'll be sure to make myself available if the weather pans out. Same applies if they're going w/me. The non-fishermen have zero comprehension of this and what's involved in preparing for a typical trip.
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Old 06-01-2018, 08:18 AM
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Yeah it's a problem I think every "Captain" has had. The best one I had was a bunch of guys from work were wanting to go forever. So I set it up and everybody had plenty of notice. We were all actually together the night before at a buddies house. I was leaving at 10:00 (boat was already good to go) and everybody was pumped to go. The next morning at "go" time no one shows up. Couldn't get any of them to answer their phones. Turns out they all got wasted and were out until 3:00 drinking. I was fuming hot. Never invited any of them again (and they new better than to ask).
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Old 06-01-2018, 08:21 AM
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Yep, I've pretty much stopped inviting people. I just fish local lakes, but getting friends to come along is next to impossible.

I had a friend who was super into fishing, we used to go fishing all the time when we were in college. Now, I've asked several times and always get lame ass excuses like "Well, I really want to go to a football game in October, so I don't think the wife will let me do this too." (This was in June)

Now I only fish with my dad or my wife.
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Old 06-01-2018, 08:23 AM
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I think every boater has been through this over and over again, and of course the last minute back out. Iíve learned over the years that I donít like non-boaters on my boat anymore. My family and very small group of buds that have never back out or let me down are always welcome.
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Old 06-01-2018, 08:33 AM
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To fish with me offshore you better know how to run a boat because this guy is bean-bagging it on the 80-90 mile trip home.. only one or two guys that I trust to do that safely and they are always on the list. I'm done with teaching ( except my kid )
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Old 06-01-2018, 08:36 AM
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The list of people I will invite to go fishing has grown smaller over the years. Some people clearly just don't get it. On more than one occasion I've spent hours prepping gear for the next day of fishing, filled the coolers with ice, bought bait and so on, only to have the "I am 100% in guy" call the night before with an excuse why he suddenly can't make it. You only get the chance to do that to me once. The same folks who have pulled that shit think nothing of casually throwing out the "I'd love to go fishing for "insert species here".
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Old 06-01-2018, 08:39 AM
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This is why I had kids. They donít have a choice.
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Old 06-01-2018, 08:44 AM
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We plan fishing trip days and weeks in advance. If the day comes and we can't go we just cancel.
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Old 06-01-2018, 08:51 AM
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I've run into this before. Thought a good way to handle it would be to create a distribution list on the phone. Send a text out with short details "Leaving @7am to fish at xxx, back before dark"... with the understanding that only the first "x" responses get to go. Soon as you have your crew, second text to dist list says "boat's full".
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Old 06-01-2018, 09:46 AM
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My wife's Grandpa and her Dad were both Charter Captains in Texas. I learned from her Dad one very important thing fishing with him, you don't want to be on boat all day with a D-Bag. Her Dad gave you one chance, and if you were a D-Bag, when you called him he was always busy, (ALWAYS). I asked him one time why he turned down a paying customer to go out with me and his grandson? Not enough money in the State of Texas to be on a boat with that guy again. Funny part, those D-Bag guys, will always call. So the fact that you were stood up was probably the best thing that could of came out of that situation. Had you got him on the boat with you all day, you would never speak, or even wave at the clown any more. Now when he says "let me know" chuckle to yourself, and say sure will! And think to yourself, (No Way D-Bag).
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Old 06-01-2018, 09:52 AM
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Historically I had the exact opposite problem. I would give someone a weeks notice, and they would bail at the last minute. But when I ask with little notice, it always seems to work.
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