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Life's little learning experiences

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Life's little learning experiences

Old 07-21-2006, 11:08 PM
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Default Life's little learning experiences

1) NEVER start painting your kitchen ceiling beFORE turning the celiing fan to the "OFF" position!

Nexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxt .....

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Old 07-22-2006, 07:35 AM
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Been there, done THAT, got the scar above my eye to prove it...... Here's my question, how many blades hit you before you "got smart" and moved your head??????
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Old 07-22-2006, 07:58 AM
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2. Make sure it is plugged in and switched on BEFORE having a computer engineer FLOWN out to the ship to do so.

Not MY f*ckup, but I had to do the explaining.............

Big Al
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Old 07-22-2006, 11:13 AM
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Always check the transaction history -before- blaming me for something. Former customer service rep never figurred this out. It was annoying enough to throw the fault back to the correct person but once a client is told they arent liable they arent, even when I show where the secretary authorised the action.

No. I dont want fries with that! Ha, ha!

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Old 07-23-2006, 02:38 AM
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Bailey Boat - 7/22/2006 7:35 AM

Been there, done THAT, got the scar above my eye to prove it...... Here's my question, how many blades hit you before you "got smart" and moved your head??????
YIKES - that was CLOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fortunately, I had a "1 blade reaction time" and only got a 1" long cut on my right wrist - luckily, the fan was on "medium". If I'd been about 1ft. closer, it would have whacked the right side of my head - then, I'd have had to replace the fan!

Wife said we were "lucky" - that we didn't have to replace the FAN!

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Old 07-23-2006, 07:39 AM
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And you guys actually tell these stories on the internet....on a web-site you visit everyday and know some of the other visitors in person.....I would never.......

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Old 07-23-2006, 07:46 AM
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Untie ALL of your dock lines before trying to pull out of your slip

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Old 07-23-2006, 08:00 AM
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TB Hawks - 7/23/2006 7:39 AM

And you guys actually tell these stories on the internet....on a web-site you visit everyday and know some of the other visitors in person.....I would never.......

TB, it's sort of like being an alcoholic, the first step to solving your problem it to ADMIT you HAVE a problem!!!!!! I have done things in the past and later I ask myself (in private of course) what the he!! were you thinking????? Thank the good Lord that I've never caused any REAL damage, to myself or others...
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Old 07-23-2006, 11:05 PM
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Ummmm.....skateboarding with a one gallon glass wine jug (empty) in hand - I was young and stupid...not old like now - hit a rock and found myself getting a whole mess of stitches.
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Old 07-23-2006, 11:11 PM
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getting on the kids Shetland pony to "teach it some manners" with a bottle of dimetapp kids cold medicine in my back pocket. Yep, I landed on it!!
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Old 07-23-2006, 11:14 PM
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I once broke my nose by bending down to pick up a paper that I'd knocked off my desk while looking UP at the cork bulletin board to confirm a meeting time later in the day, while running late to get out the door for class. High speed collisions between the nose and the back of a wooden chair are not good things.
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Old 07-23-2006, 11:47 PM
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This didn't happen to me, but it did happen to someone very close to me:

Do not go to the ER with a screaming toothache, have them give you a serious medication, then use the sit down toilet - The victim of this one passed out on the toilet....before getting his britches down, and jamming himself betweent the commode and stall door.....due to the individuals relaxed state, the intended process continued normally.

1 - Crapped pants, followed by the humiliation of explaining to the neighbor called to bring clean pants.
2 - Broken nose, repaired gratis by the hospital as you might imagine.
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Old 07-24-2006, 12:21 AM
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FearNaut - 7/23/2006 11:47 PM

This didn't happen to me, but it did happen to someone very close to me:

Do not go to the ER with a screaming toothache, have them give you a serious medication, then use the sit down toilet - The victim of this one passed out on the toilet....before getting his britches down, and jamming himself betweent the commode and stall door.....due to the individuals relaxed state, the intended process continued normally.

1 - Crapped pants, followed by the humiliation of explaining to the neighbor called to bring clean pants.
2 - Broken nose, repaired gratis by the hospital as you might imagine.
Laughed my a$$ off at that one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anybody wanna' bet who the "... someone very close to me" person was???

At "59", I just wear "Depends" all the time, anyway - for those "special occasions"!

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Old 07-24-2006, 12:35 AM
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My dad, back when I was in Jr, High.

There goes my inheritance!....all $8......

I forgot to add that it took the maintenance staff a half hour to extricate him.....

To add to the family giggles, you have to know that my Dad is Mr. Dignified....so needless to say we like to bring this story up occassionaly.
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Old 07-24-2006, 03:54 AM
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Do not attempt to ignite a 20' brush pile that has
been drenched in gasoline while standing in the
vapor cloud. Even if you are 25' away, ...and have
consumed mass quantities of amber colored adult
beverages, which contrary to popular belief DO NOT
make you bulletproof, or fireproof.
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Old 07-24-2006, 11:20 AM
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Its always a good idea to turn off the central air system before spraying red oil based finish coat on the office trim next to the air return. That little nugget was performend by a profesional paint outfit that spent the next three weeks and untold thousands attempting the paint removal in the entire house!
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Old 07-24-2006, 11:36 AM
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1) When standing on steel girders 15 feet above solid concrete - NEVER assume the guy behind you holding the diamond blade chop saw knows that you are there.

2) When you are forming a 20' deep foundation and you strip the forms off - you will need a ladder to get out - make sure you have one.

3) Never pick a running chainsaw up by the blade

Items 1 &2 directly involve me - item 3 is a former co-worker.
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Old 07-24-2006, 11:40 AM
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cjsweeney - 7/24/2006 3:54 AM

Do not attempt to ignite a 20' brush pile that has
been drenched in gasoline while standing in the
vapor cloud. Even if you are 25' away, ...and have
consumed mass quantities of amber colored adult
beverages, which contrary to popular belief DO NOT
make you bulletproof, or fireproof.
Uh, what he said.
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Old 07-24-2006, 11:54 AM
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We have a ceiling fan in the bedroom above the bed.....don't try flipping the mattress when the fan is going..... dahhhh

Charlie when I lived out west in the mountains we used to buy really cheap old cars (driveable) so we could have a car off the cliff party. Well this one time we decided to throw 5 gals. of gas on and inside the car, lite it and then have it go over the cliff. Well we positioned the car to go over the cliff (as usual), started the engine, we proped the throttle pedal with string as if we were setting a snare, covered the car with the gas inside and out and then a bunch of us were standing close enough to flick lit matches inside the car's open windows........well I'll dammed, well you know ...... that blast darn near knocked us all off our feets, but we recovered in time to watch the burning ball of fire go off the cliff with the engine screaming at WOT. The cliff had to be the best part of a 1,000 ft. high......man was that a great party.
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Old 07-24-2006, 12:19 PM
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Don't use a pine tree rope swing for a trapeze act.......two shattered arms convinced me to not do that twice.

When holding a rusty filet knife, try to remember the guy with his back to you may lunge backwards........after I pulled the knife out of my uncle's forearm we both agreed this would be a good thing to remember.
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