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Lies we tell......

Old 05-18-2018, 11:20 AM
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Default Lies we tell......

This one might come back and bite me in the ass later, you know how most all parents lie to their kids about Santa Claus and the Easter bunny, well I took it one step further.




My oldest kid, Now 13, figured out at age 5 what a chucky cheese is, he got a birthday party invitation and we went.... he loved it, of course..... but my wife and I hated it, I love my children, but I pretty much hate everybody else’s little snot nose brats because of how disrespectful and mean they are...... anyway, ever since that trip when he was five years old and a single child, he has wanted to return. But now here comes the lie, ever since then we told him we cannot go to Chucky cheese because it is a private club, And you can only go in with an invitation........ to this day, any time we drive by one he comments how great it would be if we could get an invitation to go back. Or asks if we could get a membership, I told him memberships are by Invitation only as well. 😂😂😂😂




I will see you all in hell. I am driving the express bus there in about 30-40 years....


what is one of your best? Or worst? 😂
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Old 05-18-2018, 11:23 AM
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.

You are going to rot in hell, but I guess you already knew that.


.
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Old 05-18-2018, 11:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Bront Antwoord View Post
This one might come back and bite me in the ass later, you know how most all parents lie to their kids about Santa Claus and the Easter bunny, well I took it one step further.




My oldest kid, Now 13, figured out at age 5 what a chucky cheese is, he got a birthday party invitation and we went.... he loved it, of course..... but my wife and I hated it, I love my children, but I pretty much hate everybody else’s little snot nose brats because of how disrespectful and mean they are...... anyway, ever since that trip when he was five years old and a single child, he has wanted to return. But now here comes the lie, ever since then we told him we cannot go to Chucky cheese because it is a private club, And you can only go in with an invitation........ to this day, any time we drive by one he comments how great it would be if we could get an invitation to go back. Or asks if we could get a membership, I told him memberships are by Invitation only as well. 😂😂😂😂




I will see you all in hell. I am driving the express bus there in about 30-40 years....


what is one of your best? Or worst? 😂
Take him in one, then ask him if he still wants to be a member of that club.
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Old 05-18-2018, 11:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Bront Antwoord View Post
I pretty much hate everybody else’s little snot nose brats because of how disrespectful and mean they are......
yep, kids are like farts.....you only love your own....
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Old 05-18-2018, 11:29 AM
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mean. I love chucky cheese lol they serve beer and pizza

get super drunk and secretly pee in the ball pit
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Old 05-18-2018, 11:40 AM
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“The rumble strips on the highways are for blind drivers”
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Old 05-18-2018, 11:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Cjfla View Post
“The rumble strips on the highways are for blind drivers”
I use the rumble strips on the highway to scare my two-year-old back into his seatbelt in the RV!!! I tell him “stay safe is coming”! It works like a charm LOL
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Old 05-18-2018, 11:54 AM
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Got tired of the hypocrisy when my kid was about 7. She kept coming home from school saying the kids at school told her there was no Santa. So I sat her down in the kitchen and came clean on everything. I told her they were right, there was no Santa, that it was her mother and me that buy the toys. I then told her that the Tooth Fairy was her mother and that I was the Easter Bunny. She just sat there for the longest minute with a weird face and without a word got up and started walking away toward the living room. I asked "where you going?" She said "going to lay down on the couch in the living room and think about this." She came back a while later and said she was cool with the truth and "wow, you and Mom spent a lot of money on me." My wife was furious and to this day gets fired up about it. My kid is 26 now.
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Old 05-18-2018, 12:01 PM
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The stop signs with the white stripes around the edge are optional......
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Old 05-18-2018, 12:04 PM
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Wife and I are bantering back and forth one day so she tells me that if I don't knock it off then she is going to cut me off. The lie: I replied that she couldn't cut me off because she didn't know where all I got it from. She just said, uh huh, and left me alone.
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Old 05-18-2018, 12:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Cjfla View Post
“The rumble strips on the highways are for blind drivers”
You sir, have a seat reserved.
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Old 05-18-2018, 12:09 PM
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Why not take him in the middle of the day during the week
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Old 05-18-2018, 12:10 PM
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My daughter was not the best player on her team so for motivation I told her God breaks an angels finger every time she missed the ball.... Didn't work too good but she did try a lot harder.

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Old 05-18-2018, 12:12 PM
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I told my kids that when the ice cream truck is playing music that means they are out of ice cream. Every time one goes by they say dad it is out of ice cream again.
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Old 05-18-2018, 12:16 PM
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Originally Posted by BlueRudy View Post
My daughter was not the best player on her team so for motivation I told her God breaks and angels finger every time she missed the ball.... Didn't work too good but she did try a lot harder.
Your seat is beside Cjfla's.
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Old 05-18-2018, 12:18 PM
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Originally Posted by BlueRudy View Post
My daughter was not the best player on her team so for motivation I told her God breaks and angels finger every time she missed the ball.... Didn't work too good but she did try a lot harder.
Lmaoooooooo 🤣😂🤣😂🤣
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Old 05-18-2018, 12:19 PM
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Originally Posted by KeithS View Post
Got tired of the hypocrisy when my kid was about 7. She kept coming home from school saying the kids at school told her there was no Santa. So I sat her down in the kitchen and came clean on everything. I told her they were right, there was no Santa, that it was her mother and me that buy the toys. I then told her that the Tooth Fairy was her mother and that I was the Easter Bunny. She just sat there for the longest minute with a weird face and without a word got up and started walking away toward the living room. I asked "where you going?" She said "going to lay down on the couch in the living room and think about this." She came back a while later and said she was cool with the truth and "wow, you and Mom spent a lot of money on me." My wife was furious and to this day gets fired up about it. My kid is 26 now.
That's funny right there.
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Old 05-18-2018, 12:19 PM
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OP.....I'm both horrified and laughing my ass off at the same time.

Your truly demented!

One thing I know for certain, not only is that lie gonna come back to bite you, your son is gonna do the exact same thing to you when he can get away with it!!!!!!! THAT'S why I'm laughing so damn hard, I'm visuallalizing several, " You get what you deserve " sinarios in which your the victim and haven't a clue!!!
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Old 05-18-2018, 12:24 PM
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I do a whole lot of stuff with my son that I personally don't care for. I do it because he loves it and I love to see him have fun. Call me weird.
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Old 05-18-2018, 12:30 PM
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This thread is useless without this
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