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View Poll Results: How do you handle finances in your relationship?
1 Pot - everything combined
253
61.41%
2 Pots - separate accounts, bills/expenses divided in some sort of ratio
81
19.66%
3 Pots - Individual Accts and a JT Acct
78
18.93%
Voters: 412. You may not vote on this poll

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Couples Finances Poll

Old 05-15-2018, 05:19 PM
  #61  
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Originally Posted by autobaun70 View Post
Not even going to count accounts, but 3 categories

Combined savings & emergency fund - in a few different places, but we both have access.

Her blow money/expenses she handles (gas, etc). In her checking account.

Household money/my blow money - our checking account, that I don’t think she even knows the login info for. Both our names are on it, but it serves to cover all major household expenses, groceries, etc., and my blow money is also in it.

Forthish category - cash that she doesn’t know a lot of details about in the safe. Mainly made up of the remnants of my blow money each month that I withdraw and stash away in an inconspicuous spot in the gun safe. Also feed it a bit with side money from buying/selling stuff on Craigslist, etc. This category gets spent on boat stuff and guns.
that forthish category exists with pretty much every man on here I'm betting.
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Old 05-15-2018, 05:28 PM
  #62  
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Technically we would need option 4 - separate accounts and separate expenses.
We both make good incomes, but mine is several multiples of hers.
I pay for all of the houses (3), boats (3), vacations, going out together or with family and cars (5) except her monthly lease payment.
I also pay/paid for our kids college, their allowances & spending money, and all my personal expenses.
She pays for her car lease, groceries for the house, clothes for her and the kids and all her personal expenses plus maxing out her 403b and 10% to savings (also her account).
Having separate accounts works well for us because her spending is constrained by her earnings, and she has no idea how much I actually earn or how much we have in the bank and investments.
It may not seem right to some, but it avoids hard feelings as I don't tell her what she can spend, and what she spends or saves doesn't impact our lifestyle - it works for us.
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Old 05-15-2018, 05:29 PM
  #63  
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We have separate accounts but I bring in about 10x what she does so I pay 100% of the bills. She will sometimes use her money for clothes for herself, the kids, groceries, gifts, etc.

If she wants something (within reason of course) she just buys it and so do I.

We do not use credit cards for anything its all cash, check, or debit.

I fund all the retirement accounts, the 529s, etc. as well.
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Old 05-15-2018, 06:26 PM
  #64  
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Originally Posted by Kenny Powers View Post
All combined. I do it all. I'm not even sure she knows who we bank with. She spends less than she makes, so I'm good with it.
You want to trade her in?
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Old 05-15-2018, 06:58 PM
  #65  
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Originally Posted by Barefoot View Post
Married 37 years, always had joint accounts.
That's because you get "IT".
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Old 05-15-2018, 07:56 PM
  #66  
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Originally Posted by Double tyme View Post

that forthish category exists with pretty much every man on here I'm betting.
For sure. It's not that she doesn't know of the $$$, or anything like that. It's just that I keep it out of sight, out of mind. Otherwise she will scheme up plans for it. I would much rather have gun money than a 3rd double stroller that she found on facebook or something stupid like that. I absolutely have no issue dipping into that $ for household expenses should the need arise. In our case, separate day to day accounts are simply a matter of easier accounting, rather than secrecy. Saves a whole lot of trouble when it comes to knowing who has what coming up, etc. I have "my" account (joint account that also serves to function for the bulk of household expenses) set up on auto draft. There is sufficient funds in place to cover drafted bills for a few months should something happen to me, so that she wouldn't have to think about such until things get squared away.

I laughingly keep an "ATM" stash in there too. Not a lot of money, but there hasn't been a need to run out to the ATM for cash in ages. Just simpler that way. Never know when you are going to an even where cash is needed (beer money at a concert, etc.), need $20 for some random kids birthday card, etc. When it gets low, I put some more in it, either from my other stash, or actually go by an ATM.......typically depends on if I have any toy purchases on my mind as to which I go with.

Main thing is communication. Screw fair, distribution based on income, etc. That isn't marriage. Everything is every bodies in a marriage. Dividing up spending "chores" in whatever way works best from a procedural standpoint can make sense, and for other couples one big pot is best.
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Old 05-16-2018, 02:08 AM
  #67  
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joint accts and i do the bills.wife takes out money once a week for food shopping ect. always money available if she runs low. she has access to all acounts but rarely uses them. havent paid interest on cards in years and shes not a big spender.she didnt know when i had paid the mortgage off and probably wont mention the new truck i bought last year will be paid for by middle of june unless it comes up
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Old 05-16-2018, 03:08 AM
  #68  
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When first married I had 2 accounts, one I started as a teen with my father to cash my paychecks and then the one I created when I joined the Navy. Wife came into the marriage with one she also created as a teen with her father for same reasons. My Navy account became the joint account and after several years I closed out the other account, wife still has the one account with her dad but it's not used except when transferring money between us and her father, it just makes it easier as her account can see all of ours and the one with him. She is a stay at home mom so I see no reason to separate things like that.
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Old 05-16-2018, 08:19 AM
  #69  
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Since we got married - joint accounts, super easy
Before we got married but lived together - both had our own accounts with a joint account that we contributed to equally every month to pay bills/household expenses.
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Old 05-16-2018, 05:52 PM
  #70  
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She will be deposed about her individual accounts next week.
Lots of wrong-doing outside of my approval on the shared accounts, and no matter if she was authorized - stealing is not community property.
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Old 05-17-2018, 05:52 AM
  #71  
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Why would you marry someone you can't trust and why would you need to hide your money from your spouse. It's no wonder so many of you have one or more ex's.
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Old 05-17-2018, 07:27 AM
  #72  
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Originally Posted by mikefloyd View Post
Why would you marry someone you can't trust and why would you need to hide your money from your spouse. It's no wonder so many of you have one or more ex's.
x2, but some people do change.

Also I think it depends on your situation when you get married. If I was doing the trophy wife thing she would get an allowance and strong pre-nup.

In my case we were young and broke so all in one pot.
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Old 05-17-2018, 07:37 AM
  #73  
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18 years of joint accounts. I’m perfectly happy. I suck at money, not dumb, just forget stuff... she is amazing at it, and doesn’t want to spend it like I do.... I have to beg her to have her buy herself new clothes or shoes. I want her to look nice..... we have two accounts, ours and business, we both use both, one credit card that is barely used... only like $1800 on a 15k limit. I had an emergency brake job on my RV..... after I just put huge money down on it..... it will be paid off in a year. We have a mortgage and one car payment. I drive a 20yr old beater. She has the $50k suv.... we both drive both... zero issues.
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Old 05-17-2018, 09:49 AM
  #74  
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One pot. I am self employed, and my wife works in my office. She doesn't draw a salary. We have been married 27 yrs. She has a Capital One CC, and buys whatever, whenever she wants. Don't care how much it is, but, I am lucky, she's not a big spender. I pay all bills, and pay the CC bill every 2 weeks. Use it for the travel points. Whatever works and keeps you and your spouse happy, go for it. This works for us.
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Old 05-17-2018, 10:06 AM
  #75  
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I trust her with my children,
I trust her with my money
I do NOT trust her with my sunglasses. I have never seen such wanton destruction in my life. EVERY TIME.
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Old 05-17-2018, 10:17 AM
  #76  
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Originally Posted by cjd View Post
I trust her with my children,
I trust her with my money
I do NOT trust her with my sunglasses. I have never seen such wanton destruction in my life. EVERY TIME.
I keep mine in a specific spot in my car. My wife knows this.

What's the first thing she does every time she gets in my car? Throw her house keys on top of them.

Every. Time.
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Old 05-17-2018, 10:31 AM
  #77  
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3 pots
1 joint checking account for bills and most everything
2 I have my boat/fishing account, auto transfer every week from the joint checking
3 She has her mad money/emergency account auto transfer every week from the joint checking
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Old 05-17-2018, 10:34 AM
  #78  
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2 accounts, both joint. she pays the bills out of one and i use the other for toys and stuff. since in the only one working it really doesnt matter.
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Old 05-17-2018, 10:38 AM
  #79  
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Keep everything separate for the most part. She pays the mortgage with her VA money and buys groceries. I pay for most other stuff. Been working fine for us for 5 years or so.
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Old 05-17-2018, 01:32 PM
  #80  
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Coming up on 30 years married. Always been joint accounts. She usually pays the bills and I handle investment type stuff. We are not big consumers so I really don't worry about her spending money on stupid crap. If she spent money like she owned the printing press things might be different but, since she is cheaper than me, it works good for us.
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