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College Housing help / question

Old 08-30-2017, 12:41 PM
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Default College Housing help / question

Looking for a little advice here. Oldest son is a senior in college, and is living with four other guys that are all members of his fraternity. He's on the lease.

He's known these guys for three years, but this is a new living situation. The new roommates are constantly getting in trouble and partying until 3am, every night. There are also drugs in the house.

This has been hard on him, and he's never asked us for help, but he's at a breaking point. He doesn't want to live under these conditions. He doesn't have an "out' on the lease, yet he doesn't want to be an ass to his frat brothers.

Any advice on how to help him out of this situation? We don't want to go to the other parents at this time. Trying to figure a graceful way help him improve his situation for his senior year.
Old 08-30-2017, 12:45 PM
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anonymous tip to the popo on party night when he is spending the weekend at your place?
Old 08-30-2017, 12:47 PM
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Explain to him that loud noises and no sleep til 3am doesn't hold a candle to having kids. That'll at least be some good birth control.

I really don't know what to tell you other than: Money -- Sleep -- Friends.... pick 2, you can't keep all 3.
Old 08-30-2017, 12:49 PM
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Move him out and quit paying on the lease. They'll have to make his share or they'll default on the lease. Frat brothers or not, they have lifestyle differences and they should acknowledge that fact.
Old 08-30-2017, 12:53 PM
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How much $ is his portion of the monthly lease?
Old 08-30-2017, 12:54 PM
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That was standard living arrangements when I was a college senior.

Missed a lot of classes with all of the action, just barely managed to pass enough courses to graduate.

Didn't slow me down in the working world, the sheep's skin was all I needed to get started in the Financial Services industry.
Old 08-30-2017, 12:55 PM
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What happens if he is guilty by association?
There goes 3 years, his future & $$$ down the drain.

Midnight move..!ASAP.
Old 08-30-2017, 12:55 PM
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That's pretty much what looked for in a house in college.
Old 08-30-2017, 12:57 PM
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Originally Posted by airbrush View Post
Move him out and quit paying on the lease. They'll have to make his share or they'll default on the lease. Frat brothers or not, they have lifestyle differences and they should acknowledge that fact.
That's not how these leases are designed. Each parson is responsible for their own lease. The apartment will go after the OP and can rent out the other room as they see fit.
Old 08-30-2017, 12:58 PM
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OP, how is the lease written?
Old 08-30-2017, 01:01 PM
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go for a weekend visit..surprise his roommates. you drop the hammer after discovering /suspecting drugs. tell them that this is a warning.. one more time and the party ends.. hopefully that helps. if not , you kick out all roommates and tell them that you will be selecting the new roommates or just remove your son from the situation and find him new living arrangements. one call to the building manager should break the lease easily. these are college age men/women. time for them to be a little more responsible. if it was my kid I know I would get involved sooner rather than later. college and partying go together like peanut butter and Jelly. where drugs are involved it gets more serious quickly.
Old 08-30-2017, 01:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Danny33486 View Post
That's pretty much what looked for in a house in college.
I would probably tell him to enjoy the party while it lasts. The real world is coming fast and you won't have 10,000 single girls your age running around the same town for much longer.
Old 08-30-2017, 01:06 PM
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if he wants out then move and absorb the cost .... only way he will save face...

anything else and he will take heat from the frat boys for the rest of eternity ...

good luck
Old 08-30-2017, 01:07 PM
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So he's known these guys for three years and didn't know what they were into?
Old 08-30-2017, 01:07 PM
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He could ask if another frat member wants to take his place

School just got started. Does he think the partying will slow down ?

What other living arrangements can he make ?
Old 08-30-2017, 01:07 PM
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Originally Posted by HuntersDad View Post
go for a weekend visit..surprise his roommates. you drop the hammer after discovering /suspecting drugs. tell them that this is a warning.. one more time and the party ends.. hopefully that helps. if not , you kick out all roommates and tell them that you will be selecting the new roommates or just remove your son from the situation and find him new living arrangements. one call to the building manager should break the lease easily. these are college age men/women. time for them to be a little more responsible. if it was my kid I know I would get involved sooner rather than later. college and partying go together like peanut butter and Jelly. where drugs are involved it gets more serious quickly.
So on one hand you say college aged men/women should be responsible for their own problems.... then you say daddy should step in and help;?;?

How long does it last? He's likely going to be working for some company in the next 9-10 months. what happens when he doesn't get along with Steve in accounting?
Old 08-30-2017, 01:07 PM
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I'm going to review the lease again this evening. I've read it before, but it's been two months ago and not from this angle. (We own a R/E Brokerage, so not a rookie reading a lease).

I have a feeling the lease is pretty tight, so I'm trying to figure the best way out of this for him. He's hit Dean's list every semester. I know that if he asked for help, he needs it. He's been trying to figure this out for a few weeks without our guidance.
Old 08-30-2017, 01:08 PM
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Originally Posted by HuntersDad View Post
go for a weekend visit..surprise his roommates. you drop the hammer after discovering /suspecting drugs. tell them that this is a warning.. one more time and the party ends.. hopefully that helps. if not , you kick out all roommates and tell them that you will be selecting the new roommates or just remove your son from the situation and find him new living arrangements. one call to the building manager should break the lease easily. these are college age men/women. time for them to be a little more responsible. if it was my kid I know I would get involved sooner rather than later. college and partying go together like peanut butter and Jelly. where drugs are involved it gets more serious quickly.
Holy helicopter parenting.

I guess times have changed. Senior year three am partys and drugs were common. It's called senior year lol
Old 08-30-2017, 01:09 PM
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Oh, if it wasn't for the persistent drug use, I'd tell him to deal with it.
Old 08-30-2017, 01:20 PM
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What kind of drugs? Smoking weed or shooting heroin?

He needs to find a girlfriend and crash at her place during the week.

Senior year first few weeks it was party all the time until classes got into full swing and midterms were approaching.

I would have a talk with his roommate buddies, I'm sure there is another apartment they can find to party most nights.

Freshman year my parents stuck me on an engineering floor. Ouch.

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