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Teen suicide, expert advice?

Old 08-09-2017, 11:31 AM
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Default Teen suicide, expert advice?

Is there a specific type of counselor that a teen should see if a very good friend of theirs commits suicide?

Unfortunately, this isn't a drill or a curiosity question.
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Old 08-09-2017, 11:35 AM
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Sorry to hear. I used to work for the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatrists. Child Psychiatrists have the experience and expertise to help a teen through this kind of grief. I hope you can find the help you are seeking.
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Old 08-09-2017, 11:36 AM
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I would look for a Licensed Psychologist (in most states, that's a Ph.D., Psy.D., or Ed.D) with experience treating adolescents. This web site might help you locate one:

www.apa.org

Psychiatry (as recommended above) is not a bad suggestion, either, although their focus is typically medication, and your post indicated that you are seeking a counselor.

Good luck!
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Old 08-09-2017, 11:36 AM
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It's tough. Could try a psychologist, might try a preacher. It's a drill about guilt, fault and feelings. When they finally open up and talk about it, you can be pretty confident that they've crested the hill.
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Old 08-09-2017, 11:46 AM
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Sorry to hear this!
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Old 08-09-2017, 11:57 AM
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The best experts are the parents who have raised the teen from birth. Talk to him/her and get the feelings and emotions out. Don't go to work or send them to school until you are talking openly.

Shipping the teens problems to Main Street is not going to help anyone
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Old 08-09-2017, 12:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Brokenline View Post
Is there a specific type of counselor that a teen should see if a very good friend of theirs commits suicide?

Unfortunately, this isn't a drill or a curiosity question.
A grief counselor and one with experience in dealing with teenagers. Let your child interview the counselor, and you should do your own seperate interview. The entire foundation of counseling is trust and comfort and it is imperative your child had this with the counselor.
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Old 08-09-2017, 12:11 PM
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Originally Posted by AsurfAholic View Post
The best experts are the parents who have raised the teen from birth. Talk to him/her and get the feelings and emotions out. Don't go to work or send them to school until you are talking openly.

Shipping the teens problems to Main Street is not going to help anyone
Depends on the situation. A teen may not feel comfortable opening up to their parents. Counseling is not shipping the problem off it is just another tool to use to help the teen cope.
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Old 08-09-2017, 12:12 PM
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Originally Posted by AsurfAholic View Post
The best experts are the parents who have raised the teen from birth. Talk to him/her and get the feelings and emotions out. Don't go to work or send them to school until you are talking openly.

Shipping the teens problems to Main Street is not going to help anyone
Thank you there, partner.

I'm her parent, and we talked openly about this last night. She went to school today, and I went to work today. We'll talk about it again when she gets home shortly. And again, and again.

I know of two people personally who seem rather messed up by something like this, and I'll do what I can to prevent it. But I do appreciate your input, as well as everyone.
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Old 08-09-2017, 12:19 PM
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A few more reasons to get a treating professional involved:

The professional will likely engage the teen and his/her family in the treatment process, to gather as much support as possible for the teen. [Acting alone, parents and other caring people often apply their own value judgments regarding suicide in an attempt to "educate" the survivor(s).]

The treating professional can also help assess the risk of suicide for the teen. Having a close friend commit suicide increases risk of suicide.
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Old 08-09-2017, 12:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Brokenline View Post
Thank you there, partner.

I'm her parent, and we talked openly about this last night. She went to school today, and I went to work today. We'll talk about it again when she gets home shortly. And again, and again.

I know of two people personally who seem rather messed up by something like this, and I'll do what I can to prevent it. But I do appreciate your input, as well as everyone.
I found my best friend after he hanged himself in high school. I think we were 14.

All I needed was to know that my own family loved me and was there for me. As a parent now, I feel that the way my family ran to me then has absolutely shaped the way I view life now.

I'm sure all the doctors would love to bill you enormous sums to be the "expert" but that's all baloney. You don't need an expert to show your child the love and support she needs.
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Old 08-09-2017, 12:26 PM
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In my area there is a group called The Center for Grieving Children. They have Psychologists and other resources available to kids who have lost a parent or close friend.

May want to see if there is a similar organization in your area.

And listen to DrDanH above. He is very giving with his general advice on this forum.
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Old 08-09-2017, 01:14 PM
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I would agree; use a licensed child psychologist. They are trained and unfortunately experienced in dealing with these matters.
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Old 08-09-2017, 01:52 PM
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My daughter was 14 when her friend did that. I thought we and she were handling it well, but it affected her WAY more than I realized. Once I got the magnitude of how much it impacted her I searched high and low to find someone acceptable and wound up getting her to a therapist (LMFT) that helped tremendously. She advertised that she did teen counseling and I spent a while with her on the phone before I took my daughter there. I think I found her though one of my many searches on therapist, psychologist, and anything else I could think of. She was a tremendous help.

Highly recommend that you follow through with finding someone to meet with a time or 2 (or more). Prayers for your daughter in dealing with this.
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Old 08-09-2017, 01:58 PM
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I had a good friend attempt with a shotgun and due to a flinch he survived. Talking with my dad helped more than anything.
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Old 08-09-2017, 03:10 PM
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this sounds counter intuitive, but "social media" has a way of making teens feel abandoned and alone even when they appear outwardly happy

look at "social media" and really what you see is teens that are DESPERATE for attention and making insane shoutouts to the rest of the world (that does not give two shits about them) screaming for attention

you feel like you are "interacting" with all these people, but really you are in a giant buffoonery contest and a contest to do the next stupid thing to get "likes" or "views' or to "go viral"

you are a kid with loving parents <- notice plural, a pretty good group of friends (if on the small side) you have a lot of things going for you and yet you get on social media and you see people that are borderline retarded being foisted up like they are some amazing individual or like they are some epitome of success (or both) when the reality is they are a total and complete moron and they will probably fall off of a cliff (literally) doing the next stupid thing they do for attention

and in a teens not yet fully developed mind they can't look around and see loving parents, great friends, a lot of fun activities and an overall good life going for them they instead see themselves as boring and ordinary and they wonder why someone that has all that they have going for them is not out there "going viral" or being an "influencer" on their stupid insty account

and because we live in a society that has shunned "judgement" and actually judging people and realizing that losers are in fact losers and morons are in fact morons these teems see these total losers as someone that has something actually going for them other than fading to nothingness when the WWW moves on to the next fool making an ass of themselves for likes

it leaves teens basically dazed and confused as to why they are not something "huge"

then there is the more evil aspect of it all and the tactics of particular groups since the dawn of time and that is "take your message to the children" because children are reactionary and not yet ready to fully use logic and reason

so kids that have a good life end up feeling guilt because of that good life and they think that their parents boat or their nice house somehow came at the expense of some distended tummy orphan 5,000 miles across the planet and again it conflicts them because here they have this good life, but they are constantly beat down with the message that their good life came at the expense of someones basic quality of life

so you have young minds incapable of making judgement, wondering why they are not "someone" and yet feeling guilt because of the actual good life that they often have and feeling guilt that their good life could have cost the polar bears or the whales or caused someone else to starve in ethopia

my advice to all parent si break your kids away from "social media" and also teach them to actually have judgement and to understand that "fame", financial success, "likes", "going viral" and being an "influencer" often comes at the expense of the long term future of many of those morons or it comes with the long term degradation of their own self worth which wrecks them mentally which is why you see so many of those types having break downs, being addicted and taking their own life

because probably the only worse thing than realizing that you can't save the whales on your own and change the earth all by yourself is waking up one day and realizing that you had the ability to actually make change and instead of doing so you hypocritically called out everyone else to do so while you did the exact opposite and drank and drugged your way through your existence to try and get over your inability to deal with your hypocrisy and the hypocrisy of those around you espousing the same nonsense while making the world a worse place one tweet and one viral video at a time or one TMZ story at a time

I realize that might seem a bit off the subject, but if you wonder why seemingly happy and successful kids from good homes end up killing themselves it is because they are endlessly bombarded with nonsense that is purported to be "success" or "cool" when it is really just jackassery and they are bombarded with guilt for even having a middle class standard of life (or better) from people that are nothing but the dregs of society with no standards, judgement or intelligence and surely no redeeming value to society after their 30 minutes of fame are gone and they are broke from wasting every dollar they ever had
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Old 08-09-2017, 03:50 PM
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Social media, the down fall of civilization as we know it.
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Old 08-09-2017, 04:45 PM
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The school should have contacts for a 'crisis team' which are local social workers that also work at hospices and deal with this on a daily basis for families.
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Old 08-09-2017, 04:52 PM
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My wife is a Liscened Clinical Social Worker...she recommended calling the National Suicide Hotline and asking them this question. They will be able to point you to specific counsellors/therapists in your area that specialize in teen suicide.
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Old 08-09-2017, 06:23 PM
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I don't have much to say other than we just went through this with a close friends daughter and it is very hard. For adults ( not young kids ) watch 13 reasons why on netflix. It is an eye opener and reminder about how difficult growing up can be. Adults don't see things like kids and todays social media is really the devil for kids.
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