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Son confronting creep

Old 05-17-2017, 05:54 AM
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Default Son confronting creep

So I get back from Costa Rica last night and as soon as I get home my son wants to talk to me. He's a swim coach for our neighborhood swim team. The other day at practice he notices a older guy in the parking lot and is keeping an eye on him, the guy stays in his car until my son goes to work with the kids. Then guy gets out of his car with a puppy and walks to the fence along the pool. He continues to walk along the fence with his dog watching the kids in the pool. A couple of the mother's and my boy notice this guy and are a bit creeped out. My son goes out and asks him if he has a kid here. He responded yes. "What's there name? Then he says, "well she's not here today." OK, "what's her name?" When he won't give a name, my son asks him to leave. The guy gets upset and leaves. A few minutes later, the guys wife comes and starts raising hell at the pool, then tears out of the parking lots wheels spinning. Apparently they live in the neighborhood and called the Board of Directors and told the president that my son called him a pedifile and threatened him if he didn't leave. Now the BoD is wanting my son to apologize to this guy. My boy said, "dad, puppy's are the #1 tool of pedifiles and he lied to me twice." I told him that he absolutely did the right thing and I'm proud of him, but now his job might be threatened if he won't apologize. What say you?
Old 05-17-2017, 05:58 AM
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You don't say how old he is - so I'm guessing he's in high school..

Let him stick to his guns you never know these days and he sounds like a GREAT kid. Be very proud!
Old 05-17-2017, 06:02 AM
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Make it known that a "heads up" to the police will come with the apology.....

...Then give the police a "heads up" anyway!

Maybe the other mother's opinions (concerns) should be brought to the board's attention also.
Old 05-17-2017, 06:02 AM
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Tough one. The guy was not breaking the law but i understand your sons concern.
Probably would have called the cops and have them confront the guy since he was not an imminent threat. They could have done an instant background check on the guy and determined if he has priors.

Now, from the guys perspective. I would have been pissed off if someone confronted me, particularly for minding my own business, as a potential pedophile. I commend your son for doing what he believes at the time. I would have him apologize by saying "i am sorry that you looked like a pervert to me". There is a thousand ways to apologize!
Old 05-17-2017, 06:02 AM
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Your son did the right thing, hopefully his employer will see it that way also.
Old 05-17-2017, 06:03 AM
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your son has 2 choices:

1) Cave the pressure, do the wrong thing and apologize so he can keep his job
2) Explain to the BoD his perspective and hope that he can keep his job but know that he did the right thing. And hopefully even get a few of the mothers that he talked to to back him up.

Sounds like your son did the right thing in confronting the guy. If the guy truly wasn't up to anything wrong he would appreciate that your son was only looking out for the community.

Good luck
Old 05-17-2017, 06:04 AM
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Originally Posted by BOSBoatMan View Post
You don't say how old he is - so I'm guessing he's in high school..

Let him stick to his guns you never know these days and he sounds like a GREAT kid. Be very proud!
He's a senior, 18 and can handle his own. I am very proud of the young man he's become. He loves working with the younger kids and is very protective of them. His goal is to be a pediatric orthopedic surgeon. He'll be swimming for VT this fall studying premed.
Old 05-17-2017, 06:04 AM
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It would also be worthy to know if the 'guy' actually has a daughter that frequents the pool like he said.
Old 05-17-2017, 06:08 AM
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Originally Posted by back at it View Post
It would also be worthy to know if the 'guy' actually has a daughter that frequents the pool like he said.
Pool closed to residents during practice, we have another pool on the other side of the neighborhood open for residents to use.
Old 05-17-2017, 06:09 AM
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Time for the BOD to speak to the other parents present who observed the same behavior.
Good on your son. If I had been the creepy old guy, once I realized I concerned you, I would QUICKLY clear my actions and ID myself, to relieve the question. If wife returned WITH ME after I realized what happened WE would clear the air and explain.

AND.... The lies??? He was up to no good. Wife probly not surprised by his behavior either. Not the first time?!
Old 05-17-2017, 06:10 AM
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Originally Posted by back at it View Post
It would also be worthy to know if the 'guy' actually has a daughter that frequents the pool like he said.
This^^^^^^^

Have the facts, all the facts when he approaces the board.

The fact the guy lied to him twice belies his innocence.

Good on your son. Looks like Dad has him on a good path..
Old 05-17-2017, 06:11 AM
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I recent dealt with a guy doing similar activity at a daycare. He told me children's laughter made him happy. I tried to explain to him that he needed to go elsewhere, I finally had to tell him he was being what most would consider creepy and if it continued I would find a reason to put him in jail..

You never stated, did your son call him a paedophile? After situation deterioted, I would have probably called police...

He was definitely acting creepy but I refrain from calling people paedophile unless they are sexual predator.

Also good for your son for not being afraid to question and confront..How old is he?
Old 05-17-2017, 06:11 AM
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Originally Posted by JCC123 View Post
Tough one. The guy was not breaking the law but i understand your sons concern.
Probably would have called the cops and have them confront the guy since he was not an imminent threat. They could have done an instant background check on the guy and determined if he has priors.
I told him to have one of the mothers call the police if he shows up again and feel free to video him. If nothing else, he'll have to explain to them what he's doing there.
Old 05-17-2017, 06:13 AM
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Originally Posted by Still Stoked View Post
Time for the BOD to speak to the other parents present who observed the same behavior.
Good on your son. If I had been the creepy old guy, once I realized I concerned you, I would QUICKLY clear my actions and ID myself, to relieve the question. If wife returned WITH ME after I realized what happened WE would clear the air and explain.

AND.... The lies??? He was up to no good. Wife probly not surprised by his behavior either. Not the first time?!
Nope, she came by herself. I think you're right, she knows.
Old 05-17-2017, 06:15 AM
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Have you checked to see if this guy is on the local sex offender registry? Takes 2 minutes.

Your son should schedule a meeting with President to explain his side of the story, invite some parents of the swimmers that saw this creep too.
Old 05-17-2017, 06:16 AM
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Originally Posted by Cracker View Post
I recent dealt with a guy doing similar activity at a daycare. He told me children's laughter made him happy. I tried to explain to him that he needed to go elsewhere, I finally had to tell him he was being what most would consider creepy and if it continued I would find a reason to put him in jail..

You never stated, did your son call him a paedophile? After situation deterioted, I would have probably called police...

He was definitely acting creepy but I refrain from calling people paedophile unless they are sexual predator.

Also good for your son for not being afraid to question and confront..How old is he?
My son is 18 and said he never called him anything, just asked him to leave.
Old 05-17-2017, 06:16 AM
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Originally Posted by Cracker View Post
..How old is he?

He said he was 18 and as far as an apology, the BOD shouldn't request one to a complete stranger.
Old 05-17-2017, 06:16 AM
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Only mistake your son made was not beating the guy to telling the BOD. Sadly, in most situations, the first person to tell their side of the story is believed.

Also, were there any whitnesses that overheard the conversation? Picking language in such a situation that doesn't come across as "you're a sicko" is almost impossible given that there are kids in skimpy bathing suits present.

I would talk to the board, and have your son, with the backing of the parents, ask that the practices be closed to spectators that are not family.
Old 05-17-2017, 06:19 AM
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Originally Posted by tunanut View Post
So I get back from Costa Rica last night and as soon as I get home my son wants to talk to me. He's a swim coach for our neighborhood swim team. The other day at practice he notices a older guy in the parking lot and is keeping an eye on him, the guy stays in his car until my son goes to work with the kids. Then guy gets out of his car with a puppy and walks to the fence along the pool. He continues to walk along the fence with his dog watching the kids in the pool. A couple of the mother's and my boy notice this guy and are a bit creeped out. My son goes out and asks him if he has a kid here. He responded yes. "What's there name? Then he says, "well she's not here today." OK, "what's her name?" When he won't give a name, my son asks him to leave. The guy gets upset and leaves. A few minutes later, the guys wife comes and starts raising hell at the pool, then tears out of the parking lots wheels spinning. Apparently they live in the neighborhood and called the Board of Directors and told the president that my son called him a pedifile and threatened him if he didn't leave. Now the BoD is wanting my son to apologize to this guy. My boy said, "dad, puppy's are the #1 tool of pedifiles and he lied to me twice." I told him that he absolutely did the right thing and I'm proud of him, but now his job might be threatened if he won't apologize. What say you?
I think your son did the right thing, but made one mistake. He should have not confronted the guy alone, but rather brought a parent or two with him as this would have provided witnesses to what was said and what was not said. Additionally a parent with a smart phone could have recorded the conversation.

A pool parking lot sure is an odd place to walk a dog. No dog parks or regular parks in the area?
Old 05-17-2017, 06:21 AM
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Originally Posted by tunanut View Post
My son is 18 and said he never called him anything, just asked him to leave.


I figured his response was such..Good for your son, stand strong... I would tell the BOD the police will handle it next time and that he was never rude just inquiring and looking out for the best interest of young children he is in charge of..

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