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Forgiveness, how do you do it?

Old 05-09-2017, 01:31 PM
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Default Forgiveness, how do you do it?

Not ready to spill my guts yet on THT, but I have been deceived by someone close to me. Not sure how I will get past it, so I am reaching out to THT.

How do I learn to forgive? I know every situation is different, but what made you decide to forgive?
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Old 05-09-2017, 01:36 PM
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Time, time, time, try to understand why, time, time, time, and it still might not happen!

I rarely forgive serious, Intentional actions. I can get past them, but I always remember when dealing with that person.

Good Luck.
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Old 05-09-2017, 01:38 PM
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To forgive is often the end of a situation. Hate, anger, revenge, mistrust never end. It takes effort, time and is life consuming
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Old 05-09-2017, 01:39 PM
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Here's how a friend helped me decide what to do. Imagine if you broke a mirror. You still have all the pieces. You glue them back together. The mirror is now stronger than it ever was.

Remember the purpose of the mirror? To view a reflected image.

Here's what you need to ask yourself: can you focus on the reflected image? Or do you focus on the cracks.
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Old 05-09-2017, 01:39 PM
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Righteousness is the one highest good, forgiveness is the one supreme peace, knowledge is one supreme contentment, and benevolence, one sole happiness.

Forgiveness is virtue; forgiveness is sacrifice; forgiveness is the Vedas; forgiveness is the Shruti.
Forgiveness protecteth the ascetic merit of the future; forgiveness is asceticism; forgiveness is holiness;
and by forgiveness is it that the universe is held together.


Therefore, do not look at the shortcomings of anybody; see with the sight of forgiveness.



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forgiveness
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Old 05-09-2017, 01:40 PM
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It definitely depends on the circumstances but as you age, life becomes shorter.
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Old 05-09-2017, 01:45 PM
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oh, I forgot, another question. How do I get rid of this knot in my stomach that has been there for over a month?
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Old 05-09-2017, 01:46 PM
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Forgiveness is something that will benefit the forgiver much more than the forgiven. It will allow you
to let go of the resentment and other bile that is currently churning inside of you and move on. Forgiving
someone does not mean you can, or will, go back to the same relationship with that person, but it will
free you to live a better life.
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Old 05-09-2017, 01:47 PM
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I always ruminate on something a wise friend once told me, "We are all just struggling human beings." It really is true.

Also, a favorite quote on the subject: "The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget."
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Old 05-09-2017, 01:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Still Stoked View Post
Here's how a friend helped me decide what to do. Imagine if you broke a mirror. You still have all the pieces. You glue them back together. The mirror is now stronger than it ever was.

Remember the purpose of the mirror? To view a reflected image.

Here's what you need to ask yourself: can you focus on the reflected image? Or do you focus on the cracks.
I would not take any advice from the friend that told you this seriously.


It's just human nature.
To say it is divine or virtuous to forgive is naive.
You get one over on me, I may not dwell on it for long cause I got things to do but I probably won't forget it.
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Old 05-09-2017, 01:49 PM
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Originally Posted by cparkerc View Post
oh, I forgot, another question. How do I get rid of this knot in my stomach that has been there for over a month?
Whiskey.
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Old 05-09-2017, 01:56 PM
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Tequila.
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Old 05-09-2017, 01:57 PM
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My ability to forgive is negatively correlated with the severity of and purpose for the deception.
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Old 05-09-2017, 02:00 PM
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I have always been good at forgiving if the person looks at me in the eye and says they are sorry. I have been horrible at forgiving when a person does something and then either doesn't ask for forgiveness or acts like they didn't do it. That's where I get hung up. I mean God doesn't even forgive someone who isn't repentant. Good luck.
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Old 05-09-2017, 02:01 PM
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been on both sides unfortunately. time seems to be the best medicine. good luck and I hope you can find peace.. it can be a long road.
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Old 05-09-2017, 02:09 PM
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Old 05-09-2017, 02:11 PM
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Put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself a few questions like 1) would you expect to be forgiven at some point 2) do you think at some point you deserve forgiveness 3) was it malicious and intentional

Sensitive subject for me I guess. Wife and I lost some really good friends to a mistake, a mis-understanding, maybe even a slight lapse in judgement if you took it to the extreme. It's been 5 years and they have never been able to offer up forgiveness and it's not for a lack of trying. Childhood friend I knew and was very close with for well over 20 years.

They are no longer our friends and I have now had a total turn of the tide. I realize that time **CAN** heal but it's no guarantee, however, I now fell that I am just not in need of people in my life who don't have the ability to offer of both apologies **AND** forgiveness. (both are important)

Now if it was a seriously malicious, deceitful act...that's different.
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Old 05-09-2017, 02:11 PM
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You need to forgive because you're not perfect and there are plenty of people in this world that have forgiven you. I try to remind myself of that simple truth.
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Old 05-09-2017, 02:16 PM
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Forgiveness- I wish I knew.
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Old 05-09-2017, 02:17 PM
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Care a lot less.

Just don't give a crap and realize S happens.

Don't let someone else's actions dictate how you feel.
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