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You know you are a Redneck When..

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You know you are a Redneck When..

Old 03-29-2017, 07:22 PM
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Default You know you are a Redneck When..

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, ‘Hey, guys, watch this.’

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are ‘Gentlemen, start your engines.’

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.


And in closing....
Two good ol’ boys in a Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.
After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, “If’n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin’ and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?”
The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, “Well, I don’t know about kin, but it would make us even!”
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Old 03-29-2017, 07:31 PM
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Default Default You know you are a Redneck When..

Your wife has a beer belly and you think it is sexy.
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Old 03-30-2017, 03:25 AM
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Wow, eerily quiet...I think you struck a nerve...
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Old 03-30-2017, 04:00 AM
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Www.whitetrashrepairs.com

Lol
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Old 03-30-2017, 04:20 AM
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Your family tree doesn't fork.
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Old 03-30-2017, 04:48 AM
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If you strap a generator with bungee cords to the bow of your boat and use it to power a window AC unit to keep you cool while bass fishing .
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Old 03-30-2017, 05:20 AM
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When the only virgin in your entire family is your 12 y/o cousin that can out run her 14 y/o brother.
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Old 03-30-2017, 05:28 AM
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If you don't think any of those are funny as hell.

Lol
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Old 03-30-2017, 05:34 AM
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You've ever been too drunk to fish
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Old 03-30-2017, 05:58 AM
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You put honey on yer knife to keep the peas from rolling off.....
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Old 03-30-2017, 07:17 AM
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Originally Posted by SmokyMtnGrady View Post
If you strap a generator with bungee cords to the bow of your boat and use it to power a window AC unit to keep you cool while bass fishing .

or to use a deep fryer
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Old 03-30-2017, 07:27 AM
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Or you say school me, or bite the bullet, and pull the trigger

Last edited by 805gregg; 03-31-2017 at 07:52 AM.
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Old 03-30-2017, 07:47 AM
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leaving X-mas lights up yearly
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Old 03-30-2017, 07:52 AM
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You think the stock market has a fence around it.

Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Drive-in Theater.

You own a homemade fur coat.

You burn your yard rather than mow it.
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Old 03-30-2017, 07:59 AM
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You find your past 'successful' fishing spots by the beer cans on the bottom of the lake.
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Old 03-30-2017, 08:10 AM
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You have to shut off your raised diesel pickup to order at McDonalds drive thru.
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Old 03-30-2017, 08:15 AM
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Originally Posted by aFORDable View Post
You have to shut off your raised diesel pickup to order at McDonalds drive thru.
not our fault powerstrokes are so loud
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Old 03-30-2017, 08:30 AM
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You transport lumber in your bass boat.
( I am guilty of doing this one time in a duck boat)
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Old 03-30-2017, 08:32 AM
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You have to ask, If I divorce my wife, is she still my sister
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Old 03-30-2017, 08:33 AM
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Originally Posted by rbhankins001 View Post
not our fault powerstrokes are so loud
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