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Funny/Odd instructions from your wife

Old 02-17-2017, 03:54 AM
  #141  
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Originally Posted by fmb3 View Post
Thank god Im not the only one, last night

Her: I need to call these prescriptions in to a pharmacy, which one is easy for you to pick up at?
Me: Theres a CVS, Walgreens and RiteAid near my office, use one of those
Her: But if they fill it on Friday and you take friday off you wont go there on Saturday or Sunday . . .
Me: Then use the local pharrmacy nearby, I always go by there on Friday, work or not
Her: But its only open til 6:30, you might not make it and they arent open on Saturday or Sunday
Me: Then use the Riteaid, CVS or Walgreens that are 4 miles from home, then if I dont get them on friday its close to get on the weekend or you can get them yourself
Her: I'm not going to the pharmacy just to pick up prescriptions . . . .
OMG....THAT is classic.... When my wife does this and we're with friends, I just tell them "No Judge would convict me." They laugh and she just rolls her eyes.....
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Old 02-17-2017, 03:54 AM
  #142  
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"I TOLD YOU SYNDROME"


Something comes up that you know nothing about. Could be family coming over or something she did or bought.
Me: When did this get planned or happen?
Her: I told you.
Me: When
Her: I don't remember.
Me: Then how do you know you told me.
Her: I just do.
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Old 02-17-2017, 04:55 AM
  #143  
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Originally Posted by Stcatfisherman View Post
"I TOLD YOU SYNDROME"


Something comes up that you know nothing about. Could be family coming over or something she did or bought.
Me: When did this get planned or happen?
Her: I told you.
Me: When
Her: I don't remember.
Me: Then how do you know you told me.
Her: I just do.
yep the classic's
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Old 02-17-2017, 01:21 PM
  #144  
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After the snow a month ago driving on melting salty roads, she's had this car for 8 years:

Her: Honey my windshield washer fluid is out and can't see out of the dirty windshield with all the salt.
Me: Okay honey I'll fill it up and clean your windshield either way. Well looks like we're out so I'll take your car and go get some.
Her: Okay honey, thank you!

I back down the drive way and just as I pull the wash lever on the 2008 Mustang, it dawned on me that this reservoir has never been empty and it sprays like mad....Back in drive and back in the garage.

Me: Honey, come let me show you how to operate the windshield washer
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Old 02-17-2017, 01:34 PM
  #145  
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Originally Posted by Eroc1 View Post
What I typically go through over deciding what to get for dinner.

Me: what do you want for dinner
Her: I don't care
Me: how about this
Her : NO
Me: or this
Her: NO
Me: then you pick
Her: why do I always have to choose?
Me: do I really have to answer that question!!!
bingo
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Old 02-17-2017, 10:18 PM
  #146  
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her: How about Chen's for dinner?
Me: sounds good.
Her: I'll pick it up on the way home"
Me: thanks, honey.

Me: I need more underwear. Is there any clean laundry?
Her: Yep, it's right over there on in the basket

Her: Where did you put the dog treats?
Me: bottom shelf of the pantry.

Me: where do you want to go to dinner?
her: Don't care, where do you want to go?
Me: Ruby Tuesday
Her: Sounds good. I could eat a big salad.

40 years of practice. We've pretty much got the kinks worked out.

I am one lucky dude!
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Old 02-17-2017, 11:55 PM
  #147  
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I have almost gotten my wife to stop using pronouns when she is talking about a group of people, A story about 5 ladies and using "she" in every sentence gets confusing fast. My kids are catching on too.

Naturally I get the "clean the dishes before you put them in the dishwasher". The other day she started to critique the way I vacuumed the floor (yes, I help around the house) and I quickly reminded her that I never critique the way she washes and waxes the vehicles or changes the oil (she does neither). Her response? "Thank you for vacuuming". She's coachable. But I hate the way she decides to do laundry as we are trying to walk out the door so as to not be late to wherever we are going. She just can't help herself.
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Old 02-18-2017, 03:18 AM
  #148  
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Sittin' in the back yard

Me, Honey I'm gonna paint the back yard table and go a little Picasso on it.
her, Go for it!! sounds great!
Me I'm gonna start by painting the whole top white and then do color on that.
her, White? I don't think so.
Me You just said go for it....
her, you mean I'm not allowed any input?
Me, So... go for it means only what you approve?
her, yep
Me, then that's not go for it... that's means do it the way you approve.
her, no... it means you don't know anything about color.
Me, what color is canvas?
her, forget it... do what you want
Me, is this the circle of life people always speak about?
her, I'm reading
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Old 02-18-2017, 04:39 AM
  #149  
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Originally Posted by berrie View Post
I end most of those meaningless discusdions by telling her that she can have her right so i can have my piece.
Fixed it for ya.
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Old 02-18-2017, 06:23 AM
  #150  
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This sums up most conversations with the wife.

http://mb.ntd.tv/2016/12/21/little-g...t-argue-daddy/
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Old 02-18-2017, 07:27 AM
  #151  
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Originally Posted by Rlpsystems View Post
Fixed it for ya.
Ummm no it was spelled the way i meant it the first time around.... 😋
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Old 02-18-2017, 10:48 AM
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Originally Posted by berrie View Post
Ummm no it was spelled the way i meant it the first time around.... 😋
Gotcha👍🏻
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Old 02-18-2017, 01:29 PM
  #153  
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Default Incomplete Sentences

My lovely wife thinks I can read her mind, and gets angry when I can't.

Her: Would you get me the ....?
Me: The what ?
Her: You know, is in near the ...
Me: Near the what ?
Her: the thing...
Me: What thing ? We have lots of things...
Her: Why can you pay attention when I talking to you ?
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Old 02-18-2017, 02:01 PM
  #154  
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Originally Posted by G8RDave View Post
I have almost gotten my wife to stop using pronouns when she is talking about a group of people, A story about 5 ladies and using "she" in every sentence gets confusing fast.
Funny, my wife is a middle school English teacher. When she gets on a roll, I lose track of who the pronouns refer to. She gets upset when I stop her to define pronoun assignments. It is clear in her head and should be clear to me, as well.
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Old 02-18-2017, 02:18 PM
  #155  
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Originally Posted by MustaGotLost View Post
My lovely wife thinks I can read her mind, and gets angry when I can't.

Her: Would you get me the ....?
Me: The what ?
Her: You know, is in near the ...
Me: Near the what ?
Her: the thing...
Me: What thing ? We have lots of things...
Her: Why can you pay attention when I talking to you ?
Here's how I handle that particular one:

Her: Would you get me the . . .?
Me: The unfinished sentence? Sure, it's right here near the . . .

If she doesn't get it, I grab three random items and hand them to her. If I make sure one of those items is some nail clippers, it will be awhile before she remembers what she wanted in the first place, and I'm off the hook.
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Old 02-18-2017, 06:09 PM
  #156  
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Simple thing is they are bat shit crazy. I have 3 daughters and a wife. No rhyme or reason to them, they just exist. Half of the things posted I can relate too. Best ones I have is wife vacums our bedroom carpet from the ;furthest end with all the lines going in the same direction and works her way out the door. She won't let anyone in for the day because she likes the way the lines look.
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Old 02-19-2017, 03:33 AM
  #157  
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Originally Posted by alka2710 View Post
Simple thing is they are bat shit crazy. I have 3 daughters and a wife. No rhyme or reason to them, they just exist. Half of the things posted I can relate too. Best ones I have is wife vacums our bedroom carpet from the ;furthest end with all the lines going in the same direction and works her way out the door. She won't let anyone in for the day because she likes the way the lines look.
Damn man...........You need some hardwood floors there..........
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Old 02-19-2017, 03:43 AM
  #158  
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That unfinished sentence is a family thing. I do like the 3 things solution.
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Old 02-19-2017, 04:47 AM
  #159  
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The pronoun paradox. I know all about it.
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Old 02-19-2017, 01:11 PM
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Kids are at Gramma's house........Check.
Doors are locked..........................Check
Cell phones turned off..................Check
Curtains closed.............................Check
Time for some hot and steamy.....Check

Oh boy! I'm goin to get me some!

And in the middle of it the wife (now ex) blurts out:


"Don't forget that tomorrow is garbage day."
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