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Money stolen from my daughter!

Old 11-26-2016, 11:19 PM
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Default Money stolen from my daughter!

My 16yo daughter went shopping today and sat her purse down while trying on a pair of shoes. She walked out without it and before she realized it and went back someone took $500 out of it. She has a part-time job and earned it all and was looking forward to buying Christmas gifts "on her own dime" this year. My wife is taking a hard approach "tough shit, life lesson, don't leave your purse, ect" but I feel sorry for her. I know the THT go to is to not bail out your kids. Thoughts?
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Old 11-26-2016, 11:32 PM
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I feel bad when this happens to anyone. She does need to be mindful and vigilant when shopping though. Many times I notice women leave their purse unattended in grocery carts, etc.

Glad I'm a guy who carries a wallet in my front pocket.
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Old 11-27-2016, 12:14 AM
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Ouch, hard lesson to learn for a kid... I am typically pretty hard on my kids about certain things and losing money is one of them but I would probably spot them in a case like this after making them sweat it out for a week or so then just make them work for it doing odds and ends when they need to be done...
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Old 11-27-2016, 01:14 AM
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$100 gone, tough lesson in be responsible for your stuff.

$500 gone-
1) sit down convo subject wtf were you doing carrying a substantial portion or your (16 year old) life savings around in your pocket.
2) perhaps a means of earning money around the house at 4x the going rate to recoup her losses in a reasonable time while still hammering home the "be more responsible" lesson.

She got unlucky and made a simple mistake around low life people- that really sucks. But that's also not uncommon in life so if it were my kid I'd hammer home the message but soften the blow just due to the amount lost.

Last edited by OurSomeday; 11-27-2016 at 01:16 AM. Reason: Grammatical Failure
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Old 11-27-2016, 02:00 AM
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Originally Posted by OurSomeday View Post
$100 gone, tough lesson in be responsible for your stuff.

$500 gone-
1) sit down convo subject wtf were you doing carrying a substantial portion or your (16 year old) life savings around in your pocket.
2) perhaps a means of earning money around the house at 4x the going rate to recoup her losses in a reasonable time while still hammering home the "be more responsible" lesson.

She got unlucky and made a simple mistake around low life people- that really sucks. But that's also not uncommon in life so if it were my kid I'd hammer home the message but soften the blow just due to the amount lost.
She normally would never keep that much cash on her, but she was taking advantage of the Black Friday deals trying to do some Christmas shopping. It just so happens she screwed up at the first stop. I really hate it for her because she's a well grounded hard working kid. I am sure this will stick with her seeing as how she spent several weeks earning it to only have it taken in a few seconds. I would like to get my hands on the culprit
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Old 11-27-2016, 02:51 AM
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I figured holiday sales shopping trip was the reason for the cash, but it's a good chance to point out the lesser risk of depositing into a checking account and carrying a check card. I had a checking account and check card at 16- that was 1996. I'm by most definitions the very oldest of the millennial group so I assume one can still get a bank account at 16.

It's a good reminder for adults too- only carry what you're willing to lose.

Crappy situation all around and a hard lesson to learn- again I'd soften the blow if a situation with that large of an amount happened to one of my kids.

That being said, and just to play devils' advocate, the money wasn't taken by a hardened criminal. She wasnt robbed, there was no burglary. It was taken by an opportunist- the same as if she'd left a stack of cash sitting in a public park.

I'd be upset at the perpetrator too, but it would be a non issue if she had taken better care of her earnings. So sit back, reflect, and put it in perspective. As much as we want to protect our children it's a bigger blow for her than for you so let it roll. Let her sweat just a little over her negligence, and then soften the blow so she learns a valuable but not crushing lesson.

Just my opinion which isn't worth much, but if it happens to one of my kids that's how I'll handle it.
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Old 11-27-2016, 03:36 AM
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Better to learn lesson young with Hundreds of dollars, then later with Thousands !!! Speaking from experience.
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Old 11-27-2016, 03:40 AM
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What is this "cash" you speak of?
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Old 11-27-2016, 03:41 AM
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How do you you know she didn't lose it?
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Old 11-27-2016, 03:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Danny33486 View Post
How do you you know she didn't lose it?
My wife was with her sport
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Old 11-27-2016, 03:53 AM
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As noted above time for a credit card, debit cards are to vulnerable for ID theft..

Give her n early Xmas present...is she is as good as you say...
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Old 11-27-2016, 03:56 AM
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Originally Posted by jkmjr View Post
My wife was with her sport
If that is the case and she is only 16 and worked for the money, I think I would help her out (some).
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Old 11-27-2016, 04:07 AM
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Credit card and with a job just pay it off every month and earn reward points. Every stores prices are figured with a markup for credit cards so pay cash and you are paying for a credit card charge.Credit unions are the best deals I use Navy Federal they are easy to get an account there anyone in your family qualifies you or civil service.
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Old 11-27-2016, 04:26 AM
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That just sucks. A life lesson. I'd like to think I'd hang tough on this one, but if my little girl told me this, I'd cave and help her out.

Crap yesterday I dumped $130 on one of those cheesy light show things that project onto they house because my little girl thought it would look great.
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Old 11-27-2016, 04:28 AM
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Originally Posted by jkmjr View Post
My wife was with her sport
Sport? Please. Well, it's your wife's fault then.
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Old 11-27-2016, 04:38 AM
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I'd give the girl a break. First, she earned the money and, secondly, she was wanting to share on her own dime. I think the lesson was probably learned by the time she had to go home without her intended gifts..
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Old 11-27-2016, 04:38 AM
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Words of wisdom then I'd leave $$$ where she could find it.
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Old 11-27-2016, 04:38 AM
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I'd give her the $$$, all of it. I'm sure she learned her lesson.
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Old 11-27-2016, 04:40 AM
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That sucks and I despise thieves.
Trying on shoes is not shopping for gifts for others BTW.
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Old 11-27-2016, 04:48 AM
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Originally Posted by jkmjr View Post
My wife was with her sport
Sucks to hear about that bad experience with some of the scum that lives in modern society.
That changes my perspective - your wife needs a good lesson too
I say that because she was there, and should know better.
Let your wife pay $200, your daughter eat $200, and you give her $100 to soften the blow.
This story is great reinforcement as to why I gave my kids credit cards once they were old enough (age 15 on my account) - so they don't have to carry cash in more than $30-40 amounts. The use the card as needed and pay for what they bought with their earned money.
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