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Would you tell a friends wife that he is cheating on her?

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Would you tell a friends wife that he is cheating on her?

Old 11-09-2016, 02:54 PM
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Default Would you tell a friends wife that he is cheating on her?

The thread about cheating on your spouse made me think of something.

I have hung out with the same group of friends for many years and none of us womanize except 1 of the guys is a man whore. The last fishing trip we decided that he wasn't invited because of his man whore ways. We have all known each other for 20+ years and we all know each others spouses, his wife is a real sweetheart and treats him like a king. It makes us all feel very uncomfortable when he f's around on her. He travels a lot for work and has 1 steady girlfriend that travels to him whenever he is out of town. One of our tarpon trips she flew down to Islamorada and stayed with him for 3 days. We were all supposed to stay at Kon Tiki Resort because the fishing guide was just going to pick us up at the dock on the property and drop us off at the end of the day. He decided to stay at a different hotel with her which made it kind of a pain in the a$$ logistically. He is just a total man whore and I can't think of a single trip that he didn't hook up with a girl or at least try really hard..

All of us like his wife and because we don't snitch on him makes us feel like we are contributing, I have no doubt she would/will be pissed off at all of us if she ever finds out about his whorish ways. Maybe it's just me but if I was cheating on my wife I wouldn't want anyone to know, I would be so ashamed that I wouldn't tell anyone. I often wonder if it makes him feel like a "big man" because he has girlfriend(s).

He is really a good friend to all of us and we would all do just about anything for each other. When he isn't screwing around on his wife he is a great guy to travel with, never bitches and is always quick to get his wallet out. He is just one of those friends that you are glad he is your friend.

I have always justified not snitching on him because it's none of my business. He is my friend and whatever he does outside of our friendship is his business. It's amazing how trusting he is with all of us, he is so open about screwing around on his wife and trusts that none of us will say anything. I actually have a hard time looking his wife in the eye when I see her. We regularly go out to dinner, concerts, games, etc and I feel bad for his wife when I see her. I have never told my own wife about him being a man whore because she will likely assume we are all that way which is totally not the case.

Have any of you snitched on a friend/relative that their spouse is cheating on them?
Old 11-09-2016, 03:04 PM
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Hell effing no.
Old 11-09-2016, 03:07 PM
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Originally Posted by gwcpa View Post
hell effing no.
x100
Old 11-09-2016, 03:08 PM
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She knows.
Or suspects.
Old 11-09-2016, 03:09 PM
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I wouldn't snitch and I wouldn't consider him to be a good friend.
Old 11-09-2016, 03:09 PM
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I wouldn't snitch. But I also wouldn't be friends with guy for very long, especially if he involved me in the affair. I make a decision to not run with certain groups of peopl because of things like this. They're acquaintances sure and some of them are fun guys to be around, genuinely good people, but I don't like to put myself in those situations and I've found that while you might think you're above it all, if you hang out with those groups enough it starts to wear off on you.
Old 11-09-2016, 03:11 PM
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Originally Posted by JCM 1420 View Post
I wouldn't snitch. But I also wouldn't be friends with guy for very long, especially if he involved me in the affair. I make a decision to not run with certain groups of peopl because of things like this. They're acquaintances sure and some of them are fun guys to be around, genuinely good people, but I don't like to put myself in those situations and I've found that while you might think you're above it all, if you hang out with those groups enough it starts to wear off on you.
This.
Old 11-09-2016, 03:13 PM
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only if it was with my spouse, then Id bang the hell out of his
Old 11-09-2016, 03:13 PM
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Sure he is a good friend to the guys who cover for him. It is none of you business as long as you are okay being an enabler. If he was an alcoholic would you tell him he needed to stop drinking? If the answer is no, that is his business, then your friendship is not worth much. Not sure I would snitch on him but I do think I would distance myself as you will ultimately being lumped in with him.
Old 11-09-2016, 03:13 PM
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Originally Posted by cptsdr View Post
She knows.
Or suspects.
+1,000 She may feel she's better off turning a blind eye, then go through an embarrasing divorce. If this is so, her self worth must be ZERO. I would stay out of it....no good will come out of this at all. If his behavior is such a distraction, then distance yourself from him, but also tell him why your friendship will be dissolved.
Old 11-09-2016, 03:14 PM
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I don't know if I'd narc the guy out, but I 100% know I wouldn't continue to hang out with him especially if I was friends with his wife.

I don't hang around folks that put me in odd awkward situations like that.

Would you want one of your wife's friends to let you know your wife was doing the mailman when you left for work?
What would think of these friends of your wife if you found out they all knew and never said a word to you. Wouldn't you feel like a complete idiot? I care about other humans more than that.
Old 11-09-2016, 03:14 PM
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Pics of wife being cheated on?


(Hell no.)
Old 11-09-2016, 03:16 PM
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Originally Posted by RussH View Post
He is just one of those friends that you are glad he is your friend.
Sounds like a friend you can really trust

If you feel comfortable enough as friends, call him out on it, but I'd say it's not your place to tell her. For me, if someone cheats on a spouse I can mind my own business, but also wouldn't ever trust that person again.
Old 11-09-2016, 03:22 PM
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Wonder if the wife knows and they have an open type relationship? Not saying that is the case, but to cheat openly like that and trust all of you not to say anything is strange.


Also, I would not get involved.
Old 11-09-2016, 03:24 PM
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Had a similar situation and kept quiet. About 2 weeks later, she caught him by reading his deleted email file on home computer. They stayed together 12 more years until she left him for another guy. She is much happier and lives a very wealthy lifestyle. He is paying alimony and child support and barely gets by.

Seems like it turned 180.
Old 11-09-2016, 03:25 PM
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Out of the original 10 of us that grew up together and remained very close we have 2 man whores that do everything from one night stands to hookers.
I chose to weed these guys out of my life 10 years ago and no longer associate with them. It was hard but it was also the right thing to do.
Our original core group of 10 met in Cabo for a bachelor party last year all of us now in our upper 30's and lower 40's.
I was really hoping that the 2 man whores had mellowed out over the past 10 years. In fact I was excited to the possibility of mending our relationships and going back to old times.
We weren't there 2 hours and they both were already heading to the massage parlor and buying every drug they could find. These guys are successful professionals with a family, multiple homes etc.
It was disgusting to watch them over the 5 days cheating on their wives multiple times and made me feel relieved that I no longer had a relationship with either one of them or their wives.

I could and would never tell on either one of them however having people like this in your life is just not worth it and if you lay with dogs you will eventually get fleas.
Old 11-09-2016, 03:25 PM
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Russ, I can only tell you what I have done in the past with a situation exactly like yours.

I found out this friend of mine going on 26 years had been screwing another gal for close to 6 years. The wife is an absolute sweetheart, stayed with him through AA, and was always there for him. I immediately confronted him when I found out, because any real man IMO would not allow someone to be humiliated like that, nor treat the supposed love of your life in such a manor.


I flat out told him, either you tell her, or I tell her, because your being a complete scumbag to the women who literally saved your worthless ass!

That was 7 years ago next month! They're still together, we're still good friends! In my situation it turned out ok. You though MUST be prepared for the other spectrum.

Yes Russ, I know that I will be flamed here for stating that, but men don't behaive like that, children do.
Old 11-09-2016, 03:26 PM
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If I was in your shoes, I would not have a "good friend" that would put me in that situation. Not cool. JMO -
Old 11-09-2016, 03:28 PM
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what ever happened to "bros before . . ."

???

Old 11-09-2016, 03:29 PM
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This is his problem. Believe me, it will be. It is Not yours. If he is a good friend, then let it be so. Everyone has their vices. All will come out in the wash. Just my opinion, because I have visited this situation.

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