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Funny things you've heard or witnessed at work

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Funny things you've heard or witnessed at work

Old 10-16-2016, 08:19 AM
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Default Funny things you've heard or witnessed at work

While listening to the radio this morning a female deputy arrives on the scene of a vehicle possibly in the canal. She gets on scene and her supervisor ask if the vehicle is submerged, she says " I don't know I can only see the roof ".
Another, my buddy leans into a females vehicle and he sees a sticky on the left side of her laptop that says "west" and the other side has a sticky that says "east". He inquires, she says "duh, its so I know which way is west and east are". He just shook his head...
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Old 10-16-2016, 08:44 AM
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From my wife, a school administrator.
A parent(mother) called to inform my wife her oldest daughter, when with her friends, has been picking on her youngest daughter. She asked if my wife could do something about it :bewildered:
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Old 10-16-2016, 09:10 AM
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Years ago I was interviewing a candidate for a sales position and I inquired about his computer skills which seemed to be fairly savvy. This was a time period when a lot of small-medium size business were just starting to advertised online and list products for sale so knowing how to upload pictures, attach them to emails and using email in general was a pretty sought after skill.
We were extremely busy the first week he started so I gave him an email template and a list of about 3000 potential customers. He was to email these customers throughout the week when he wasn't shadowing one of us.
I would check on his progress each day and I was quite impressed, in fact I started to think I might have hit the jackpot as most of the sales staff were not very proficient online and I might have just found my first internet sales department rep.
On Thursday he proudly walked into my office to let me that all 3,145 customers on the list had been "touched". I knew that the only way this could be accomplished is if he worked on this project after hours each evening while he was home which I though was pretty awesome he would put so much effort into what is a really necessary but not so fun project.
Friday morning I logged into our customer referral system as I did several times each day and noticed that thousands of emails had bounced back.
All of these email were sent by the new hire.....

I knew that the email address' on the list should for the most part all be valid because they were either previous customers or potential customers that inquired to us.
As I started to open his emails to try and figure out what happened I noticed that every email address he entered had "at" instead of "@"(i.e. johndoeatgmail.com).
When I asked him about he said in a matter of fact demeanor that the "@" symbol on each address was shorthand for "at".
Needless to say I then realized he had somewhat exaggerated his computer skills during our interview.

Last edited by INCORRIGIBLE; 10-16-2016 at 10:19 AM.
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Old 10-16-2016, 09:38 AM
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I just told this story in another thread a few days ago, but here is the shortened version.

I was investigating an 18 wheeler crash, where the driver had hit a low bridge. When I asked the driver if anyone else had hit the bridge, he said "yeah, the guy in front of me hit it too". I didn't have the heart to ask him why he followed someone into a bridge that was, at that point, obviously too low for a truck.
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Old 10-16-2016, 09:43 AM
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About a year ago our CEO said to not believe the layoff rumors.
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Old 10-16-2016, 10:04 AM
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Walked in to show a house and the tenants were banging in the hallway in the middle of the front door. Stumbled upon a sex-dungeon after finding a hidden door in a property. Sex toys left out. Drugs left out. Been bumrushed by actual bums squatting.
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Old 10-16-2016, 10:57 AM
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Interviewed an RN for a clinic position several years ago. When informed that part of the job would involve data entry (county job, performance measures, etc.), she replied, "That's ok, I'm really good at TALLY-ating things." She managed to use that "word" three more times during the interview. No, she didn't get hired.
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Old 10-16-2016, 12:16 PM
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PArt of my job is to contact various dept's to fix/repair install things. We typically get calls from customers saying they are stuck in elevator "X" or "Y". We notify police, electricians and the elevator repair company who always tells us, "Per contract requirements we have a 2 hour window for service."

One day the elevator repair crew was working on the equipment when I take a call from them, "Hey, this is the elevator repair crew working on elevator "X", we're stuck between floors can you notify the office to get us out?" I respond with, "Sure, however you know there is a 2 hour service window so you might be there for awhile." LMBO
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Old 10-16-2016, 12:28 PM
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prob not funny, but walked into the conference room years ago (1 hour before we opened ) married boss and married salesperson getting it on, they both pull me to the side later and say "its not what you think" yea right......she said what will it take to keep you quiet.....I was turning in my 2 weeks that day anyway....I will say, I kept quiet and her name WAS Monica.
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Old 10-16-2016, 12:35 PM
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Originally Posted by bluffman2 View Post
prob not funny, but walked into the conference room years ago (1 hour before we opened ) married boss and married salesperson getting it on, they both pull me to the side later and say "its not what you think" yea right......she said what will it take to keep you quiet.....I was turning in my 2 weeks that day anyway....I will say, I kept quiet and her name WAS Monica.
First picks of the woman are needed. 2nd. Assuming she was doable, why not dip your stick???
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Old 10-16-2016, 12:37 PM
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Originally Posted by YFMF View Post
First picks of the woman are needed. 2nd. Assuming she was doable, why not dip your stick???
I knew how many women the boss had dipped his in, and I wasnt taking a chance......sorry years ago and no pics......she did divorce and last I seen her, she was still looking good.
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Old 10-16-2016, 12:59 PM
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Employee called me asking if we had any brake fluid at the shop. The light on the dash just came on so it must be getting low.
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Old 10-16-2016, 04:14 PM
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I owned a furniture store for years. I had a great delivery guy but he was always late and making any and every excuse he could think of about being late. Spring forward Fall back clock reset one October. My guy is about 2 hours late on Monday morning. His excuse-sure enough he forgot to set his clock.
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Old 10-16-2016, 04:27 PM
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I had a salesman call in all upset saying he was going to have to take the week off because his father just died, When we asked about funeral arrangement he said family only, while he was out we found out he was in ME at the beach on vacation, his father was still alive.
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Old 10-16-2016, 05:31 PM
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Had a new employee talking with a current employee he had previously worked with somewhere else. During the exchange I join in on the conversation. New employee then asks me how long I had worked there............I own the place.

Had a phone interview where I had specifically listed the need for previous experience. She admitted she had none then proceeded to tell me she was a fast learner and picked up things very quickly.....She heard me chuckling and confronted me. I told her I laughed because everyone tells me that. No one ever claimed they are a dumbass that will never learn a thing.

Had a driver get pissed he was reprimanded for taking 4 hours to drive 50 miles from the next city over. he had a damn good excuse......"head-winds" slowed the truck.
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Old 10-16-2016, 05:34 PM
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Knew a female electrician apprentice that always called in on Fridays or Mondays with some excuse call in once on a Monday saying she and her cousin must have got a hold of a bad watermelon and could not come to work that day.

you have 3 guesses as to what nationality she was and the last 2 do not count
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Old 10-16-2016, 05:54 PM
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I remember a customer's employee calling in saying he was on his way to NY for his mother funeral. She called him at work the next day.
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Old 10-16-2016, 06:20 PM
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Im an obgyn doc my list could on and on but it would be unethical
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Old 10-16-2016, 06:57 PM
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I hired a guy a few years ago and on his first day I told him my level was not working properly and asked him to go to the hardware store and get me new bubbles for the level. The first hardware store told him if they had them they would be in a certain isle and after deciding they didn't have them moved onto a second hardware store. After searching will no success, he asked one of the employees where they would have them. The employee caught on right away and said they were all out and would not be in until Thursday, but he was positive Home Depot had them. Not wanting to disappoint, he finds someone working in the hardware section after driving all the way to Home Depot,and askes the guy where he could find the bubbles for the levels. The guy looks at him weird and asked him what kind of project he was doing and he says none, its my first day of work and my boss sent me to find bubbles for his level. The store guy starts laughing and says to him...think about it...2 hours later the new hire returns to work and says..... you got me good.
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Old 10-16-2016, 07:48 PM
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Stuff don't happen like it use to but back in the 80s it was wild what you would see happening in a car from my view in the big truck.
Won't go there but you can figure it.
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