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"c***", internet and kids, what do you do?

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"c***", internet and kids, what do you do?

Old 06-04-2016, 12:58 PM
  #21  
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Originally Posted by makonnen View Post
Well nowadays you can quite easily install monitoring software that can capture what people do on the screen, or you can install a firewall or something like dansguardian which is a free and powerful filtering service.

But those are enforcement tactics, they do nothing to actually teach safe and responsible internet use.
I think you'll have to define what you deem safe and responsible internet use. Goes without saying that personal information; full name, address, telephone number, DOB, etc cannot be shared. Beyond that I think you'll have a hard time convincing him that looking up a particular word or subject is not safe or responsible. At his age "safe" and "responsible" are still fairly nebulous.

Monitoring S/W has been available for a long time, we used it. When they were young I set up filters and relaxed those filters over time as they aged. I had their UN's and PW's and, at first, checked their accounts regularly. Consistently finding nothing of urgent concern I checked less frequently. I did of course find out which of their friends may be questionable and was thus able to monitor how much time they were spending with that/those friends.

Monitoring S/W wasn't an enforcement tactic to me, it was an information/trending tactic. If I noticed little Bartholomew checking into something regularly it was a tip that we needed to bring that subject up in some way - but not by saying "hey, noticed you've been looking/reading up on this...". If he looked up the word "cun*" once or twice and that was it - no real concern or need to have a conversation. If he looked it up a lot, and then started looking up related words/terms, we knew we had to bring it up, work it into a conversation.

While filters/firewalls are enforcement tactics to a degree I did not want ours exposed to certain things until they were older and could comprehend them. No electronics in their rooms was not really an enforcement tactic, it was more of a way to ensure interaction with the entire family, and not isolate themselves.

Our daughter had a friend who had a PC, TV, microwave, and mini fridge in her bedroom, and we knew the parents. The once said that when their daughter came home from school she'd disappear into her room for hours. Well duh.
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Old 06-04-2016, 01:00 PM
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Originally Posted by OldPete View Post
I would applaud your child. He heard a word and he didn't know what it meant. He took it upon himself to learn what it means. I think it's great. You may have to talk to him about vulgar words and how our society places a large weight on them, etc... but I think the action he took is great. Would you rather he heard or read a word that he didn't understand and just jet by it? I wouldn't.
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Old 06-04-2016, 01:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Snoozin View Post
Show him this picture of my ex...
Giant LOL
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Old 06-04-2016, 01:34 PM
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Originally Posted by TTB View Post
. It wasn’t c*unt that I was asked about.
that's...that's not how you star something out...
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Old 06-04-2016, 02:34 PM
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It's an acronym....

Can't
Understand
Normal
Thinking
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Old 06-04-2016, 03:29 PM
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I raised my daughter alone since the age of 6, she is 21 now.
After her Mother and little sister were killed by a drunk driver, and it was totally up to me to be the sole parent, I was worried how to be a great Dad.
I read books, took a class, asked advice of others.
In the end what worked was being honest with her.
Balancing out how to be a friend and a disciplinarian.
Giving of my time, listening, slow to anger and quick to hug her.
The mere fact he came to you says a lot.
Be honest as you can about things.
Nothing good can come of lying to your kids or keeping them so in the dark they are clueless about life when they grow up.
I would say something like.
Well its not a good word to use.
Its slang for the part on a lady she has to reproduce and pee.
But its not the proper word, and it is best to not use that word please.
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Old 06-04-2016, 03:47 PM
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My nephew was staying over one night when he was about 8 years old and was interested in astronomy. He was at my computer and did a search for "black hole" . You can guess what popped up!
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Old 06-04-2016, 05:02 PM
  #28  
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Hillary comes to mind
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Old 06-04-2016, 06:02 PM
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Fwiw,
Took the boy into the bedroom, his mother was sleeping. I lifted up the covers and said see that thing between your mothers legs, that's a vagina, everything else is a .......
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Old 06-04-2016, 06:19 PM
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Originally Posted by makonnen View Post
I'm a tech guy, I could easily setup a Linux server running Shorewall (firewall) or Danguardian.
Originally Posted by makonnen View Post
JD I tried, not allowed to change the thread title. Its a derogatory word but I didn't use it in that context. I would change it if I could...
You call your self a tech guy and you couldn't figure out how to change the title???




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Old 06-04-2016, 06:22 PM
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Give him a participation trophy?
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Old 06-04-2016, 06:24 PM
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Originally Posted by LI Sound Grunt View Post
Just edit then hit go advanced - and you can edit the title

I got a warning for using the "C" word. You could get banned 2nd offense I thiink

I have no advice on kids swears

Maybe just tell him it is a derrogatory or swear word that references a vagina and super bitchy women ? And not to use it till he has first hand knowledge.

I am not sure I would let my kids on the internet at home until age 10 or so unless it is for homework - when he is not home you have to just have a talk and hope.

This media is so amazing with so much positive potential but has a real nasty downside too....

Good Luck

Its good to be a man of a certain (old) age - at times
Thanks, that worked ...

Yea but my point is that not allowing him to use the internet doesn't really help when he is around a group of friends at a birthday party, play date or sleep over and looking up stuff on the internet. Ideally, you want the kid to be able to make an independent decision to participate or not.

You could argue the same thing with drugs, booze, parties. When in a pack of other boys, and the bad stuff is coming out, I won't be there, ideally I'd like him to be able to make a good decision for himself and be strong enough to resist the mob mentality.
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Old 06-04-2016, 06:24 PM
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Originally Posted by HarleyFLHP View Post
You call your self a tech guy and you couldn't figure out how to change the title???




LOL I never said I was a good one.
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Old 06-04-2016, 06:36 PM
  #34  
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Originally Posted by ss3964spd View Post
I think you'll have to define what you deem safe and responsible internet use. Goes without saying that personal information; full name, address, telephone number, DOB, etc cannot be shared. Beyond that I think you'll have a hard time convincing him that looking up a particular word or subject is not safe or responsible. At his age "safe" and "responsible" are still fairly nebulous.

Monitoring S/W has been available for a long time, we used it. When they were young I set up filters and relaxed those filters over time as they aged. I had their UN's and PW's and, at first, checked their accounts regularly. Consistently finding nothing of urgent concern I checked less frequently. I did of course find out which of their friends may be questionable and was thus able to monitor how much time they were spending with that/those friends.

Monitoring S/W wasn't an enforcement tactic to me, it was an information/trending tactic. If I noticed little Bartholomew checking into something regularly it was a tip that we needed to bring that subject up in some way - but not by saying "hey, noticed you've been looking/reading up on this...". If he looked up the word "cun*" once or twice and that was it - no real concern or need to have a conversation. If he looked it up a lot, and then started looking up related words/terms, we knew we had to bring it up, work it into a conversation.

While filters/firewalls are enforcement tactics to a degree I did not want ours exposed to certain things until they were older and could comprehend them. No electronics in their rooms was not really an enforcement tactic, it was more of a way to ensure interaction with the entire family, and not isolate themselves.

Our daughter had a friend who had a PC, TV, microwave, and mini fridge in her bedroom, and we knew the parents. The once said that when their daughter came home from school she'd disappear into her room for hours. Well duh.
Thanks for sharing that. He really hasn't started to use the internet until the last year or two for searching things. Our rules are only when everyone is around like before or after dinner, after school and such. We use the internet together a lot too mostly so I can show him how to do things.

For instance, my daughter is 8 and has not started to use the internet except for a couple of iPad games she plays.

I didn't even think about the sharing information, name, address, chatting online stuff. Thanks for bringing that up.

Just wondering what are the repercussions of having as much unfiltered information as you want in reach of our kids. I've never really given that much thought until now.
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Old 06-04-2016, 06:37 PM
  #35  
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C U next Tuesday?
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Old 06-04-2016, 10:11 PM
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Originally Posted by BCBoater77 View Post
I raised my daughter alone since the age of 6, she is 21 now.
After her Mother and little sister were killed by a drunk driver, and it was totally up to me to be the sole parent, I was worried how to be a great Dad.
I read books, took a class, asked advice of others.
In the end what worked was being honest with her.
Balancing out how to be a friend and a disciplinarian.
Giving of my time, listening, slow to anger and quick to hug her.
The mere fact he came to you says a lot.
Be honest as you can about things.
Nothing good can come of lying to your kids or keeping them so in the dark they are clueless about life when they grow up.
I would say something like.
Well its not a good word to use.
Its slang for the part on a lady she has to reproduce and pee.
But its not the proper word, and it is best to not use that word please.
You couldn't say it any better.
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Old 06-05-2016, 07:17 AM
  #37  
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Just be glad he didn't hear "blue waffle" and research it. Poor kid would be scarred for life!

Age old problem. Kids are going to hear stuff from other kids. I remember (long before Internet days) as a kid hearing and using the word "scumbag." All the kids were using it, mom thought it was just some made-up word and harmless. Dad, a Navy guy, came home and heard one of us kids say it and went ballastic! Took my mother aside and told her what it meant -- a used condom. She was appalled!

Today, nobody thinks twice about that word. Just means a lowlife bad guy.

Kids today are exposed to so much, so early, through their network of friends, the media, and the Internet. You can monitor, block, filter, but they're still gonna hear it. Best advice was given above. When you hear it from them, explain it, and make certain they know it's vulgar and generally unacceptable to use.

You really can't be the thought police for your kids 24/7. But you can teach them what's right/wrong,acceptable/unacceptable and set a good example for them to follow with the hope of them making good decisions going forward.
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Old 06-05-2016, 07:56 AM
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Bro, you know I had to look up this "Blue Waffle" . Holy chit that is one flucked up deal!
I need to rinse my eyes out with bleach now!
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Old 06-05-2016, 08:10 AM
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Originally Posted by ss3964spd View Post
And just to add. When our 3 were growing up our rules were 1) no computer in your room. 2) no TV's in your room. They had to share the "family" PC, centrally located. If we walk by and you change/minimize the screen you loose PC access - except for homework, for a week.
This is slightly more difficult now, as our 11 year old could access the internet from her phone, her tablet, a chromebook, or her desktop PC. We're a lot more connected nowadays than even 5 years ago.

For homework, a lot of hers is online - you sing onto a student portal and answer questions, and the math and vocab questions change based on your accuracy. Computer security at school is poor, so we had to have a separate conversation about why she couldn't access other kids' accounts to see how they were doing.

When typing, kids can hit alt-tab without giving it away, but I agree with you that if I found her hiding something, punishments are coming.

I'm a nosy parent. My wife & I read her all her texts. The PC in her playroom was purposefully situated so we can see it from the kitchen. We installed "Our Pact" on her tablet which gives better control on hours of use.

I'm watching this closely, as I don't have a very good answer and I'm open to suggestions as well.
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Old 06-05-2016, 08:28 AM
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It's so hard. The reality is that kids today have unfettered access to whatever they want to see/read. You can police it at home but no matter what you do they will at some point come across a phone or iPad or computer and google whatever it is they are curious about.

There's no right answer but my strategy is to be the kid on the bus for my kid. In other words, I want him to learn about stuff,including the bad stuff, from me. That way I get to control the context. It has led to some awkward situations because I have initiated some conversations my boy wasn't ready for. But, I figure if I'm not too early, I'm too late.
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