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Reflection and maturity

Old 12-16-2015, 06:28 AM
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Default Reflection and maturity

I'm in a funky mood. I think the thread about having people around you die suddenly has caused me to reflect on myself more than I normally do. I'm pretty aware of how I have matured in my ways over the last few years. Even more so, now that I'm hitting my mid 40's. I've done this before - give it a try. Go back and read the posts that you've made on this website from the first day you joined. I sometimes scratch my head at how much of an idiot and tool I was. (Which was only about 8 yrs ago). I think kids, work, current state of affairs, etc., has a lot of influence on me, personally.
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Old 12-16-2015, 06:36 AM
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I'm in an even funkier mood. The older we get, the more our perspective on life changes. Also, the more experiences we have personally and observe other's go through has a cumulative effect.

Last week I turned 55. I have one daughter who is 23. My wife passed away 20 months ago. I just broke up with my girlfriend who is a 9.5 out of 10. I bought a new to me boat in September. I'm looking at selling my house and getting a new vehicle.

Lot's of self reflection going on.
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Old 12-16-2015, 06:39 AM
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Originally Posted by RipTideBBQ View Post
I'm in a funky mood. I think the thread about having people around you die suddenly has caused me to reflect on myself more than I normally do. I'm pretty aware of how I have matured in my ways over the last few years. Even more so, now that I'm hitting my mid 40's. I've done this before - give it a try. Go back and read the posts that you've made on this website from the first day you joined. I sometimes scratch my head at how much of an idiot and tool I was. (Which was only about 8 yrs ago). I think kids, work, current state of affairs, etc., has a lot of influence on me, personally.
As you say it is all part of aging and maturing. ..but be assured that there are still some out there in society that will never change....they will be dumbazzes to the day they die (not because they might have a different view but because they have the mentality of a stupid and childish person. )
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Old 12-16-2015, 06:42 AM
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Ill be turning 74, just 4 years away from average life expectancy, selling off toys and so on. There are more memories than opportunities, and only looking at the quality of life diminishing. Lot to think about.
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Old 12-16-2015, 06:51 AM
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I hear ya - quickly approaching 50 and I too have noticed how the perspective has shifted for me over the last 5 or so years. I was told it is the natural progression in that when we are young, we dont have much of a past and our focus is the future. As we age, we have less of a future ahead and more of a past to reflect upon. Don't get me wrong, I'm generally a pretty happy, positive guy and I'm blessed with how my life has evolved thus far. Still looking forward to many great things but I can't ignore father time either.

Case in point - I've always been conservative with my money. Save for kids college and retirement like so many threads discuss. Well, this year I've put another friend in the ground and I've got another one in the final stages of a battle with cancer. Makes a guy think. I'm really thinking about taking some of that savings and blowing it to have some fun. Fun car to drive, new boat, something just because you never know what the future holds. Bus theory I guess....
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Old 12-16-2015, 06:58 AM
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Went I entered my 20's I was very driven. I had 350 direct reports world wide and was an executive at a fortune 100 company by the time I was 28. I had a house on the water, new cars I paid cash for boats, etc. The downside, I traveled and worked all the time, never took a vacation where I didn't have conf calls etc. There were so many times me and the wife would go out to eat and she would eat alone while I took a call in the car.
They laid me off when I was 34, I started my own company, slowly built it up. Once it was successful same thing, travel calls 24x7 no time off ever etc.
2 years ago I sold it and last year finally transitioned out of it. Now I have a smaller business.

I no longer want the things I used to, I don't care about the new cars, trucks, big house on the water, etc.
I like my time, being here when the kids get home, playing golf once or twice a week, being able to go spend time with my family with out having to worry about work all the time. At 44 it is a interesting place to be, I see things differently now, I smell the roses, and enjoy doing things with the kids out side.
And I am starting to see other people tired of the grind just to have something, when they have no time to enjoy it or life.
Interesting times!!!!
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Old 12-16-2015, 07:03 AM
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Ol guide, if you ever feel like passing one of your Porsches down to the son of a former F-4 driver and a huge Porsche fan please feel free!!! Seriously though, I understand the point in life that you have reached, though I am not quite there yet. I think, for most people, there is a desire to have had a full life such as yours and the experiences that you've had. I feel the same when I talk to my dad. It took me a lot longer to reach that maturity level (at a similar age) than I thought it would. But maybe my kids feel the same way about me. Who knows. Not sure if any of that made any sense, but I hope it did.
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Old 12-16-2015, 07:05 AM
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Too old too soon,too smart too late... That sums it up pretty well.Trying to undo things that you have done wrong isn't always successful.Changing your outlook is part of maturing.Some people are assholes their whole life and never change.They drive away the people that love them and don't seem to care.Try not to be that person.Tell the people that you love that you love them,and let them tell you the same.The only thing remaining after you are gone is someone else's memory of you.
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Old 12-16-2015, 07:32 AM
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Looking back we see we rarely lived the life we had hoped for, looking ahead gives the chance to do so.
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Old 12-16-2015, 07:41 AM
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I woke up one morning, an alcoholic. And I took the steps that I needed to take to live a better life, for myself and in the process, the people around me.

I woke up one morning a widower , and I took my time, and gradually took the steps that needed to be taken.

I woke up one morning sober, in a new house, with a new life and still deeply connected to the life that was. I have daughters and grandkids. I have a wonderful girlfriend, we moved here together, in separate homes, literally walking distance to one another, and her beautiful daughters have become mine (they call me fadder).

I collect little things from my past, telephones (rotary) and other trinkets from my youth.
I live today with the mindset my girlfriend brought up on our first date, "These are the good old days".

I try to treat people the way I want to be treated. I am trying to prolong my "quality" years by working out on a regular basis.

Life is slower now, more rewarding, but I wouldn't undo a minute of my past, for it is part of what I am today.
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Old 12-16-2015, 07:42 AM
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This is a great thread and bell islands post really resonates. I like many of you is always trying to find the balance between wants and work and time with family. Having two toddlers I feel has really changed my priorities in life. I never made an enormous amount of money but lately I've resisted taking on more work or switching jobs that pay more but require me to be away. My current job pays the bills and allows me the flexibility in my schedule to be the dad and husband I want to be, it's been a challenge at times as I have friends I grew up with who are in a similar situation and they've climbed the corporate ladders and are making more money than I do, but at what expense as most travel and work far more hours than I do. Sometimes I feel like I am shortchanging myself by not trying to earn as much as possible while I'm young 37. But I have a nice house boat couple nice vehicles and am living a version of the dream. I guess it's a battle that not only I deal with and I guess in life there are always regrets and things you would do differently. But to me right now at this point I feel content being a great dad husband and son to my aging parents.
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Old 12-16-2015, 08:29 AM
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I get moody as a bitch, but the Midol helps.

I honestly get what everyone is saying, having turned 60 a couple of months ago. Freakin' life really caught up to me this year! Had to have vascular surgery on one leg, wound care center and heavy compression for six months, then nearly blind and cataract surgery on both eyes. All this for a guy that's never spent a day in a hospital in his entire life, other than exiting the womb. Was really starting to feel like a car that just went out of warranty and everything was breaking all at once.

Screw all that. It's behind me now and I refuse to let it get in the way of moving forward. I plan on fishing more this year and concentrating on some "me" time. Two marriages, raised four good kids. Last one is nearly done college at ASU -- seems most of my life has been about working, paying bills, keeping a roof over our head (same roof for 35 years now) and being responsible.

I don't look back and regret anything, although there were lots of things I probably should have done differently. I don't see myself having a full-on mid-life crisis, dumping the wife for a hot 20 year old or buying a new red Corvette. I DO see myself trying to frantically save more, get everything paid off and thinking about that magic thing called "retirement." I just have this overwhelming sneaky suspicion that when I finally reach that exalted day, the very next day will be the one where I keel over and croak!
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Old 12-16-2015, 08:35 AM
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https://www.socialsecurity.gov/OACT/...longevity.html

Guys, I'd just thought I'd throw this out there. It's the gubmint longetivity calculator to see how much longer you've got (on average) after you've reached a certain age.
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Old 12-16-2015, 08:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Dulcecita Lures View Post
I get moody as a bitch, but the Midol helps.

I don't see myself having a full-on mid-life crisis, dumping the wife for a hot 20 year old or buying a new red Corvette. I DO see myself trying to frantically save more, get everything paid off and thinking about that magic thing called "retirement." I just have this overwhelming sneaky suspicion that when I finally reach that exalted day, the very next day will be the one where I keel over and croak!
^^^^ This! Great explanation of what I may have been trying to get across. There are a few thing in life that I mildly regret, but nothing that has an overwhelming impact on me. Those things may have actually made me a better person in the long run.
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