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Lost a good friend last night.

Old 08-30-2015, 06:34 PM
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Default Lost a good friend last night.

Well the day started off great. Jumped on the boat around 11:00 was headed to the Hudson in hopes for a few Bigeye. Forecast was deteriorating but thought we could get out there for the evening bite then drift for a swordfish bite. turned around after 20 miles of pounding only to get back to dock and get the news that one of my good friend was killed in a car accident that night.
He was not only a friend but was also my sons best friends father. As of right now my son has no clue and i'm not sure how to tell him. It was a drunk driving single car accident (of course driver walks away) and a great father of two young boys is dead. to much shit going on in my head right now to even get a straight thought process for my son and his friends in the morning. Advice? Thanks Chris
Old 08-30-2015, 06:37 PM
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Sorry for your loss. The coming days will not be easy. Find smiles in the good memories and pray for the sad times ahead. Death is never easy but a good man remembered is man who is never forgotten...
Old 08-30-2015, 06:41 PM
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Man prayers sent
Old 08-30-2015, 06:46 PM
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My deepest sympathies. Be strong, remember the good times, help his family when you can.
Old 08-30-2015, 07:18 PM
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Thanks I'm just confused right now.
Old 08-30-2015, 07:22 PM
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Sorry for your loss.. Just be there for your son, it will hit him hard too!

David
Old 08-30-2015, 07:27 PM
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Originally Posted by DJWILLIAMS View Post
Sorry for your loss.. Just be there for your son, it will hit him hard too!

David
This is why I'm asking for internet advice. as he's just getting over divorce bs.
Old 08-30-2015, 07:45 PM
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My deepest sympathies... A very good family friend of 25 was killed a few years back by a cronic drunk and intoxicated traffic violator, the kid was absolutely the best young man (paid offhouse, priorbusiness owner, worked for AT&T)... My prayers it is not going to easy, my advice is just be direct and do it soon before he hears it from someone else..
Old 08-30-2015, 08:11 PM
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I am very sorry for your loss. I am sure that you will do well in delivering the message to your son in your own way. When I have been in situations like this I have told the person close to me how much they mean to me. I then tell them that I have some very sad news to share with them but I want them to hear it from me first. I then tell them the news. I know this seems very direct but I feel it helps me quickly get to the more important part of dealing with the grieving process. My condolences to you and I wish you the best in helping your son through this difficult time. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
Old 08-30-2015, 08:22 PM
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Very sorry for you. Keep your chin up.
Old 08-30-2015, 08:26 PM
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Hmmmm. Your boy must be quite young not to have heard about this from friends via social media.

Three things. First, hug your son tight and hold him while you break the news. Do NOT give a huge explanation or story. Try to keep it to just a couple lines. The simpler, the better. Be sure he understands that death is final, so that he does not prolong his own suffering by thinking the man might come back. Of course you answer his questions as best you can, but the initial talk should be brief and clear.

Second, do the above quickly! Now! ASAP! Why the rush? Because the dead man's son is going to be even more crushed than you and your boy. That boy needs help. He needs his best friend, your son, in his time of need. Get over there!

Third is controversial. Different people think different ways about this, but since you're asking, I would like to offer my advice, knowing that some may disagree vehemently. My advice is, do not let either boy or the widow see you crying. Do your crying tonight or whenever (we have ALL cried), but please do not do it around women or children. They need a rock, an anchor right now and you are it! They need a man, a strong man, and you just got volunteered. Though you certainly feel horrible, seem strong for the boys and widow.

When my dad died and I needed to be the rock as the oldest son, but felt like crying, I would just go to the bathroom and stay there until I could compose myself. Visine helps.

Life sucks sometimes, but death is part of life. You will carry this pain you feel now forever. Forever. What will change is how you handle the pain, the mechanisms you come up with to lessen this horrible pain and suffering.

You will get through this. Your son will get through this. The dead man's boy and widow will get through this.

Be strong, my brother!

==>Rapi
Old 08-30-2015, 08:36 PM
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Sorry for your loss. This is never easy... A long road for your family with the grievance, and from your inferences, a very long road for the drivers family. You have to tell your son, and at least be relatively honest. Not sure of your geographic area, if it's a smaller area it will play out in the news and he'll figure out. Be there, be honest, be supportive, and do it all over again. The fact that your posting here and are concerned makes you a great person... You will have some of impressionable young people looking to you, stay solid and you'll do fine.
Old 08-30-2015, 09:17 PM
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Prayers and condolences to your family,and to your friends family. Death is a shitty part of life sometimes.
Old 08-31-2015, 01:38 AM
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tragic loss.
Old 08-31-2015, 03:30 AM
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All my heart felt prayers to you and your family and friends.

God Bless
Old 08-31-2015, 03:35 AM
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Stay positive brother, so sorry for your loss.
Old 08-31-2015, 03:42 AM
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Sorry, for your loss.....damm, life is precious......
Old 08-31-2015, 04:28 AM
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Prayers and a man hug sent.
Old 08-31-2015, 04:35 AM
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prayers sent
Old 08-31-2015, 04:37 AM
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Ya'll get back out on that boat and have fun like your friend would have wanted you to do as soon as you can. It's gonna help immensely at this time. Prayers to you and your family and the courage to seek advice on the best way to console your son.

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