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-   -   I'm not gonna lie... (https://www.thehulltruth.com/dockside-chat/648983-im-not-gonna-lie.html)

Johnny Dreamer 02-03-2015 01:31 PM

I'm not gonna lie...
 
...it was cold outside. She'd gone and left me with a crumbling apartment and broken down car, neither of which I could afford. The good times had long gone, driven off in my repossessed BMW, the ultimate humiliation experience. I'd only loved her long enough to despise rather than outright hate her, but now that she was gone, none of that mattered, it was cold outside and I needed a drink.

I called up my buddy, Danny. Danny, the handsome divorcee with a knack for knickers. We used to call him "fireman" because he could get inside anything, no matter how hot.

He answered on the third ring...

"Yellow!"
"Hey, Danny, it's Johnny. Tell me a story bud, and make it good. It's cold out and she's gone and left me again. This time I know she means it. She took all the smokes."

This is the story Danny told me...

Snapper Head 02-03-2015 01:36 PM

Yer lying.


Big Al

spraynet 1 02-03-2015 01:40 PM

What a crock.

jtburf 02-03-2015 01:43 PM


Originally Posted by johnny dreamer
I needed a drink

Wow, we would have never figured this out on our own!

John

chrispnet 02-03-2015 01:43 PM

Johnny, You ever been in a cockpit before?
You ever seen a grown man naked?

Johnny, do you like movies about gladiators?

Did you ever hang around a gymnasium?


Johnny, Have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison?

jtburf 02-03-2015 01:44 PM

double post

Bamby 02-03-2015 01:47 PM

Black Hawk, Goodbye Says It All


Danny33486 02-03-2015 01:52 PM

Hmm.

Corndog38 02-03-2015 01:53 PM

So is it Danny's story or Johnny's story???

Snapper Head 02-03-2015 01:54 PM

Okay Johnny,

The horizon was gone. Not obscured, not invisible. It was gone. Fully and truly gone. Grasping within my furiously moving mind was a fierce but calming and steady hand. Find the reference, ANY reference, it said. I could not look back, because 'back' no longer existed. I needed a smoke.


Big Al

Johnny Dreamer 02-03-2015 01:55 PM

I put the phone down on Danny and took another slug. Things sure do change quick.

Next up I called BlueRudy, that guy is always good for a story.

"Blue!"
"Hey, did you know Danny shouts Yellow! when he answers the phone?"
"Must be his heritage. Whaddya want Johnny? Time is broads."
"Just a story buddy, just a story."

This is what Blue told me...

NJFISH 02-03-2015 01:58 PM

"It's over, Johnny. It's over."

txj33p 02-03-2015 02:01 PM


Originally Posted by Johnny Dreamer (Post 7528600)
I put the phone down on Danny and took another slug. Things sure do change quick.

Next up I called BlueRudy, that guy is always good for a story.

"Blue!"
"Hey, did you know Danny shouts Yellow! when he answers the phone?"
"Must be his heritage. Whaddya want Johnny? Time is broads."
"Just a story buddy, just a story."

This is what Blue told me...

Obviously it all started on a dark and stormy night....

triumphrick 02-03-2015 02:03 PM

"Well, you can stay here cutting the nuts off another man's cows for chuck and wages till you're all stove up and walking around like a crab like all the other bachelor cowhands...."

triumphrick 02-03-2015 02:05 PM

"Male independence is all well and fine but too much, no sir. Without marriage and women we'd all have been drunk, shot ourselves to death or died of the clap."

muskamoot 02-03-2015 02:35 PM


Wrote a song about it,wanna hear it? Here goes...

bogue 02-03-2015 02:48 PM


Originally Posted by Johnny Dreamer (Post 7528600)
I put the phone down on Danny and took another slug. Things sure do change quick.

Next up I called BlueRudy, that guy is always good for a story.

"Blue!"
"Hey, did you know Danny shouts Yellow! when he answers the phone?"
"Must be his heritage. Whaddya want Johnny? Time is broads."
"Just a story buddy, just a story."

This is what Blue told me...


Johnny my boy, I've had plenty o'women walk out on me.
After a while when you quit feeling sorry for yourself and the liquor doesn't help anymore,
you'll wake up kiss the goat good-bye dust your dungarees off and sneak out of the zoo.
On that walk of shame to the flop house, there you will see her slinging hash at the waffle house.
A beauty, of pure radiance with golden locks and nicotine stained teeth.

Snapper Head 02-03-2015 02:57 PM


Originally Posted by bogue (Post 7528776)
and the liquor doesn't help anymore,

Wanna bet?:grin:


Big Al

north coast 02-03-2015 03:12 PM


Originally Posted by muskamoot (Post 7528736)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmO-Of_SQus

Wrote a song about it,wanna hear it? Here goes...

Damn , that was good .
Carry on.

pugnacious3333 02-03-2015 06:36 PM

She left you because you are f#cking annoying.


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