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I'm not gonna lie...

Old 02-03-2015, 01:31 PM
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...it was cold outside. She'd gone and left me with a crumbling apartment and broken down car, neither of which I could afford. The good times had long gone, driven off in my repossessed BMW, the ultimate humiliation experience. I'd only loved her long enough to despise rather than outright hate her, but now that she was gone, none of that mattered, it was cold outside and I needed a drink.

I called up my buddy, Danny. Danny, the handsome divorcee with a knack for knickers. We used to call him "fireman" because he could get inside anything, no matter how hot.

He answered on the third ring...

"Yellow!"
"Hey, Danny, it's Johnny. Tell me a story bud, and make it good. It's cold out and she's gone and left me again. This time I know she means it. She took all the smokes."

This is the story Danny told me...
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Old 02-03-2015, 01:36 PM
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Yer lying.


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Old 02-03-2015, 01:40 PM
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What a crock.
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Old 02-03-2015, 01:43 PM
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Originally Posted by johnny dreamer
I needed a drink
Wow, we would have never figured this out on our own!

John
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Old 02-03-2015, 01:43 PM
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Johnny, You ever been in a cockpit before?
You ever seen a grown man naked?

Johnny, do you like movies about gladiators?

Did you ever hang around a gymnasium?


Johnny, Have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison?
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Old 02-03-2015, 01:44 PM
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double post
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Old 02-03-2015, 01:47 PM
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Black Hawk, Goodbye Says It All

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Old 02-03-2015, 01:52 PM
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Hmm.
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Old 02-03-2015, 01:53 PM
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So is it Danny's story or Johnny's story???
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Old 02-03-2015, 01:54 PM
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Okay Johnny,

The horizon was gone. Not obscured, not invisible. It was gone. Fully and truly gone. Grasping within my furiously moving mind was a fierce but calming and steady hand. Find the reference, ANY reference, it said. I could not look back, because 'back' no longer existed. I needed a smoke.


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Old 02-03-2015, 01:55 PM
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I put the phone down on Danny and took another slug. Things sure do change quick.

Next up I called BlueRudy, that guy is always good for a story.

"Blue!"
"Hey, did you know Danny shouts Yellow! when he answers the phone?"
"Must be his heritage. Whaddya want Johnny? Time is broads."
"Just a story buddy, just a story."

This is what Blue told me...
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Old 02-03-2015, 01:58 PM
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"It's over, Johnny. It's over."
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Old 02-03-2015, 02:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Johnny Dreamer View Post
I put the phone down on Danny and took another slug. Things sure do change quick.

Next up I called BlueRudy, that guy is always good for a story.

"Blue!"
"Hey, did you know Danny shouts Yellow! when he answers the phone?"
"Must be his heritage. Whaddya want Johnny? Time is broads."
"Just a story buddy, just a story."

This is what Blue told me...
Obviously it all started on a dark and stormy night....
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Old 02-03-2015, 02:03 PM
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"Well, you can stay here cutting the nuts off another man's cows for chuck and wages till you're all stove up and walking around like a crab like all the other bachelor cowhands...."
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Old 02-03-2015, 02:05 PM
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"Male independence is all well and fine but too much, no sir. Without marriage and women we'd all have been drunk, shot ourselves to death or died of the clap."
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Old 02-03-2015, 02:35 PM
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Wrote a song about it,wanna hear it? Here goes...
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Old 02-03-2015, 02:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Johnny Dreamer View Post
I put the phone down on Danny and took another slug. Things sure do change quick.

Next up I called BlueRudy, that guy is always good for a story.

"Blue!"
"Hey, did you know Danny shouts Yellow! when he answers the phone?"
"Must be his heritage. Whaddya want Johnny? Time is broads."
"Just a story buddy, just a story."

This is what Blue told me...

Johnny my boy, I've had plenty o'women walk out on me.
After a while when you quit feeling sorry for yourself and the liquor doesn't help anymore,
you'll wake up kiss the goat good-bye dust your dungarees off and sneak out of the zoo.
On that walk of shame to the flop house, there you will see her slinging hash at the waffle house.
A beauty, of pure radiance with golden locks and nicotine stained teeth.
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Old 02-03-2015, 02:57 PM
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Originally Posted by bogue View Post
and the liquor doesn't help anymore,
Wanna bet?


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Old 02-03-2015, 03:12 PM
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Originally Posted by muskamoot View Post
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmO-Of_SQus

Wrote a song about it,wanna hear it? Here goes...
Damn , that was good .
Carry on.
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Old 02-03-2015, 06:36 PM
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She left you because you are f#cking annoying.
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