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Depression or do I just need a break?

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Depression or do I just need a break?

Old 07-05-2014, 12:42 PM
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Sprockets - So sorry for you loss. Fortunately I haven't been through my wife's passing but I've had a number of traumatic events which lead to post traumatic stress. I found myself having panic attacks for no reason. Not enjoying things I used to. Slowly becoming a shut in. It's different for everyone. Therapy helps. I almost gave up after one session because I felt I said everything I needed in the first session to but stick with it for a while....I can be helpful. Hang with friends, spent time with your daughter. Do stuff you enjoy. Solitude is can be a demon to the brain when your going through something tough like you are. Hang in there bud!
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Old 07-05-2014, 12:47 PM
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didn't have the time to read all the replies, sorry for your loss. To answer you no it's not to long to be down but if you think it is maybe some professional help wouldn't hurt. It can't hurt that's for sure. All the support from member here will be great but someone on one is always good. wish you well.
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Old 07-05-2014, 12:57 PM
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Depression is real. It is chemical, not a weakness of character! Please remember that.

You should speak with your doctor and get his advice. Many people are helped with certain medications.

Don't ever let anyone who's not personally experienced give you advice. Lots of stupid opinions, mostly from those who don't have any knowledge about it.
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Old 07-05-2014, 01:23 PM
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Depression is self-centered. You should try to get out of yourself and into others and the best way is service...volunteer in your community or join a service based organization such as Habitat for Humanity, wounded warriors, meals on wheels, CG reserve... there are many.

Sharing you feelings with someone is crucial.
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Old 07-05-2014, 02:25 PM
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Nothing weak about posting... if anything you're stronger than most people for being able to verbalize what's doing!

Lots of good advice here. STAY POSITIVE and if things EVER look grim, you make sure and remember that you've got a kid... and it doesn't matter if they're 5 of 40... that little girl is going to need her dad.

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Old 07-05-2014, 03:18 PM
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Sorry for your loss. Some of the mental conditions your experiencing are certainly understandable. The problem is they can lead to physical problems like low T. Get yourself a good head to toe physical, have your testosterone checked and get a CBC. If your not exercising regularly, start. Take things one day at a time and work towards building your confidence level. You will get back to feeling like your in control buts its not going to happen overnite. Set small goals, write them down, and cross them off as you achieve them. Could be something as simple as getting that voicemail changed.
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Old 07-05-2014, 03:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Barnacled View Post
Depression is self-centered.
.......and there is one of those idiotic pieces of advice you have to weed through. So many stupid people out there.
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Old 07-05-2014, 04:14 PM
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Originally Posted by John_Madison CT View Post
.......and there is one of those idiotic pieces of advice you have to weed through. So many stupid people out there.

You are quick to judge...think about what I wrote a little more and you might understand.
I mean no malice and I share experience with the OP.
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Old 07-05-2014, 04:31 PM
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The deeper the love, the longer the healing.


...but you already knew that.



We are here for you.
We mean well.


.
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Old 07-05-2014, 04:35 PM
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Our condolences on losing your wife unexpected. Death it self is a hard road to handle and in your case, even harder. Being involved in the church and seeing many travel the same path and losing our Father almost 5 years ago, I must say your normal. Most cases it takes an individual 5 to 7 years to heal. This does not mean totally over the death but acceptance life still goes on. We would suggest finding a local church that has a grief and bereavement program. This will help with understanding your thoughts, motivation, etc: This does not mean your have to join, etc. Just folks who know how to help those that have suffered losing a love one. Our prayers are with you....
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Old 07-05-2014, 05:02 PM
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I commend you for reaching out which shows strength rather than weakness. Without revealing too much I come from a family of depressed people who couldn't admit they had issues, and the older ones self-medicated with alcohol, not a good thing so I encourage you not to go there. What you're experiencing is normal and as others have said, you need more time. Still, I encourage you to speak with a doctor who is well-versed in grief counseling and management. You may also need some temporary medication to help you along.
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Old 07-05-2014, 05:16 PM
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It's just going to take time. You experienced a very difficult loss. It sound to me as if you are handling it very well, all things considered. Especially, when you mentioned you are not drinking. For me, what works is having friends and family around. They will get you through anything. But it does take time as well.
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Old 07-05-2014, 05:41 PM
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Sprockets, I lost my wife to a rapist, She killed herself shortly after that ordeal.

I went 3yrs with missing her dearly,Then I was on the boat that I bought for her.

I was trying to kill some spiders and bug bomb myself. They found me on the dock passed out.

Spent a week in the hospital and the nurse that nursed me back to health I ended up marrying her.

Hang in there THT brother, God will send someone for ya again.
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Old 07-05-2014, 05:45 PM
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I've been reading the responses off and on all day. I appreciate all the comments and support.

It's tough to know what's normal, even though there is a quite a range. I'm not even close to having self-destructive thoughts, so don't worry about that. My support structure is pretty deep since I have lived in the same area for 42 of my 53 years. I have a lot of resources I can reach out to for help.

Guess I was in a bit of funk this morning and needed to vent. I'm not a religious guy and really don't want to join a support group. I did look online at meetup.com and there is a widows group that mentioned widowers but I'm not sure if it is open to both. There were some pictures on the site of their get togethers and to be honest, some of them looked pretty good.
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Old 07-05-2014, 05:47 PM
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Originally Posted by way557 View Post
Sprockets, I lost my wife to a rapist, She killed herself shortly after that ordeal.

I went 3yrs with missing her dearly,Then I was on the boat that I bought for her.

I was trying to kill some spiders and bug bomb myself. They found me on the dock passed out.

Spent a week in the hospital and the nurse that nursed me back to health I ended up marrying her.

Hang in there THT brother, God will send someone for ya again.
You must have posted this while I was typing. I can't even imagine what you went through.

My wife died from an infection and it was a 36 hour ordeal start to finish. We spent the entire day on the boat one Sunday and 2 days later she was gone.
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Old 07-05-2014, 07:43 PM
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I have nothing meaningful to add, but sorry for your loss. I could not imagine losing my wife.
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Old 07-05-2014, 07:57 PM
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I am so sorry for your loss and your pain.

My only thought is to keep talking about your feelings (dont bottle it up as that is poison) and focus on the positives (family and friends). You are not alone.

God Bless.



One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along
the beach with the Lord.

Across the dark sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed
two sets of footprints in the sand,
one belonging to him and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the
very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.

"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life there is
only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you most
you would leave me."

The Lord replied "My precious, precious child,
I love you and would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints in the sand,
it was then that I carried you."
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Old 07-05-2014, 11:41 PM
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Make sure you have PLENTY of help at your business, don't feel guilty about that.

If there is any way you can get away, take that trip you always wanted to take.

I know you probably just can't leave a business, though
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Old 07-06-2014, 03:21 AM
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Go easy on yourself, life has been tough to you. Maybe try volunteering for a cause that's important to you. It might alter your perspective a little.
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Old 07-06-2014, 03:55 AM
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Sorry man. It gets better. Get back to work...
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