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Women and lust?

Old 05-14-2013, 05:06 PM
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Default Women and lust?

Don't judge me. I work a bunch of hours every week. I devote my time to work, family and play time. Is it okay for my wife to "lust" (may not be right terminology) for someone? Long story short. I pick up her phone to check weather. Unintentionally click text msg app. The open text basically said to her friend from work "the book guy was in today and he's not a looker - no Ethan! Guess I won't miss too much of him this week!" Friend replies "haha!" My wife has vacation this week. Is this okay behavior? I feel like occasionally at work I see an attractive female I may think wow she's nice. But, this seems ongoing. I'm stressed to the max as it is. Am I normal to feel jealous and lacking?
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Old 05-14-2013, 05:10 PM
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Don't ask THT, ask your wife. Jealousy comes from within.
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Old 05-14-2013, 05:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Tdillinger View Post
Don't ask THT, ask your wife. Jealousy comes from within.
You are correct. If I ask her it will be a shit storm I'm not prepared for. I guess my thoughts are if I do something intentional or not that she would run right to this fella. Wrong? In a weird sort of way i feel inadequate. like she settled for me and still wants better. Call me crazy, don't know. Just thoughts clouding my mind. Btw, we will be married 9 years in August.
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Old 05-14-2013, 05:19 PM
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Ask Bluechip he is the resident expert on these matters.
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Old 05-14-2013, 05:30 PM
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Originally Posted by BCMk31 View Post
Don't judge me. I work a bunch of hours every week. I devote my time to work, family and play time. Is it okay for my wife to "lust" (may not be right terminology) for someone? Long story short. I pick up her phone to check weather. Unintentionally click text msg app. The open text basically said to her friend from work "the book guy was in today and he's not a looker - no Ethan! Guess I won't miss too much of him this week!" Friend replies "haha!" My wife has vacation this week. Is this okay behavior? I feel like occasionally at work I see an attractive female I may think wow she's nice. But, this seems ongoing. I'm stressed to the max as it is. Am I normal to feel jealous and lacking?
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Old 05-14-2013, 05:33 PM
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Let it go. You will never get past the fact you were snooping in her phone anyway.
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Old 05-14-2013, 05:35 PM
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Originally Posted by BCMk31 View Post
In a weird sort of way i feel inadequate. like she settled for me and still wants better. Call me crazy, don't know. Just thoughts clouding my mind. Btw, we will be married 9 years in August.
What makes you think she "settled"? Is there something else that has you thinking? I can't see how one text would get you all raised up.
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Old 05-14-2013, 05:37 PM
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You've never said something like that to a buddy? Don't have the hot ups girl you and the guys make jokes about?

Let it go, no good will come of it and you have no idea the spirit in which it was said. For all you know Ethan is a 450lb blob and the message was entirely sarcastic..
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Old 05-14-2013, 05:41 PM
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Yea same as you saying it about girls you see.
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Old 05-14-2013, 05:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Flot View Post
You've never said something like that to a buddy? Don't have the hot ups girl you and the guys make jokes about?

Let it go, no good will come of it and you have no idea the spirit in which it was said. For all you know Ethan is a 450lb blob and the message was entirely sarcastic..
Wouldn't that be sweet. But, google settled that haha
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Old 05-14-2013, 05:46 PM
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One text doesn't have me fired up. Guess I'm over thinking. Bothers me she texted a work friend about it. I see nice looking women everyday and occasionally make a comment, but I don't see the same chicks or interact. Plus, I'd never mention it to a friend via text. I am in a funk I suppose. I really need to
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Old 05-14-2013, 05:53 PM
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I'm happily married and check out other women, however I will not cheat. I figure my wife checks out other guys, too. Just cause we are married doesn't make us gay. Just human nature imo. Don't sweat it.
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Old 05-14-2013, 05:56 PM
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::Buy her dinner. Take her to a nice hotel, get a room for the night. Toss her salad like prom nite!

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Old 05-14-2013, 06:01 PM
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It doesn't matter where she gets her appetite, as long as she eats at home.



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Old 05-14-2013, 06:02 PM
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She is checking out some guy that she finds attractive at work, no biggie just keep your eyes open and your ears perked up for any funny stuff down the road. To get into with her at this point wouldn't do any good, she hasn't done anything and probaly never will. I have had the opportunity to work with some smoking hot women and believe me they get your attention, guys say similar things and it doesn't mean anything. Let it go and enjoy life, its too short!!
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Old 05-14-2013, 06:03 PM
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Actually sounds to me like you may be having issue's with your own self worth, confidence, and/or insecurities.

Been married now for 27 yrs and if there's one thing I can tell you for sure, I mean 100% certain, without a doubt, it's this.

TRUST is everything......

I would not blink an eye if my wife told me she was going to spend a weekend with her girlfriends at one of those "All Inclusive" lets get naked resorts.

Seriously!!!!! Our marriage is built on 100% respect and trust. If you dont have that, you aint got nothin!
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Old 05-14-2013, 06:05 PM
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Saying it is one thing. texting it? Why would you?

You have a right to be a little pissed.
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Old 05-14-2013, 06:13 PM
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Was in a similar situation prior to my divorce. My alarm bells had been ringing for a while but I blew it off for a while. Bells ringing louder and louder and with some investigative resources I found that my initial instincts were correct. Been divorced 8 years now. I don't know if I find it "normal" to be texting other male coworkers this kinda stuff on a routine basis. ?? Trust your instincts and be more observant. It's probably nothing to be concerned about but never hurts to cover your bases. My marriage I thought was based on trust etc without question but at 30 years--hello. It's all too easy to deceive the ones that trust you the most.
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Old 05-14-2013, 06:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Miltonian View Post
I'm happily married and check out other women, however I will not cheat. I figure my wife checks out other guys, too. Just cause we are married doesn't make us gay. Just human nature imo. Don't sweat it.
This. If the entirety of what you have is the text you posted, dont sweat it man. I say worse shit than that in texts and Im no cheater. I do understand the double standard that exists when its a (especially your) woman saying it.

Id be nice to her, enjoy your vacation, lay some pipe, and monitor things for a while longer before overreacting.
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Old 05-14-2013, 06:14 PM
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Big Al has it right....
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