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B_tch at work

Old 05-11-2013, 05:34 PM
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Default B_tch at work

Some may say that it is me...but I digress.

There is a lady I work with who is a real pain. She has said some down right nasty things about me and as I sit here drinking my wine, I thought about getting opinions. If one is lucky, one may find some on THT! It could happen!

Back story-both hired the same year, both promoted within a month of each other every time.

3 years ago I became the Senior VP of Marketing. I was promoted over her. She has said it was because I slept my way up (nope), i'm prettier (I personally think she is prettier) I'm taller (that is true), I lied, she didn't really want it and so on.

I have run across her in social situations and I am pretty sure she has told people I'm sleeping around. That kind of irks me, but yes I go out with friends, and I escort some officers to official functions. Funny part is, my hubby asks me to go with them, since he cannot attend, part of being a Navy wife.

Lots of people have told me to get rid of her, but here is the sticking point. She is absolutely the best at what she does. She is my number two. She hates me, I think, and really feels she could do better than I do running things, but, she makes me look great to my boss, and the one thing she has never accused me of is stealing her work. I always give her credit she is due. I always give my staff credit when earned, and, even for her, I take the heat when earned.

And, all these negative and in MHO mean things she has said come after hours. Always professional at work.

I will put up with the crap because she would be hard to replace. what would you guys (figuratively) do?

Sorry for al the ranting this week, guess I'm bored.
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Old 05-11-2013, 05:44 PM
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Pictures. Must have pictures.
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Old 05-11-2013, 05:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Vic34 View Post
...Sorry for al the ranting this week, guess I'm bored.
I think you misspelled boring.
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Old 05-11-2013, 05:53 PM
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Maybe I shouldn't post while drinking. Sorry if I'm boring.
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Old 05-11-2013, 05:53 PM
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Originally Posted by ImNotiFly View Post
I think you misspelled boring.
D----- that's cold!
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Old 05-11-2013, 06:00 PM
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Originally Posted by caymanboy View Post
D----- that's cold!
What?

I read the thread and just thought that there was a "typo"? It's correct as posted?
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Old 05-11-2013, 06:14 PM
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How easy would it be to replace her? Does she have "special" skills that no one else can do? Who was it that said something along the lines of, " show me the man that's irreplaceable and I'll fire the son of a bitch,.."

She is subverting your authority and eroding it. Some of what she is saying must be getting back to your boss.
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Old 05-11-2013, 06:24 PM
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A real old and respected colleague that I use to work with once told me. "if there was one woman in an office she would find a way to bicker with herself". Sorry Vic, I have seen you post and I like you. However, the older I get the more I see what my 90 year old friend and colleague told me as true true true.

You seem to be "speculating" what she says about you after hours. If she is doing her job why worry?
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Old 05-11-2013, 06:53 PM
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If the story was about 2 guys the solution would be to go out for drinks and spill your concerns about what's been rumored and stating your desire to work together. You'd either leave buddies......or get thrown out for fighting. Either way, you find out where you stand with each other.


So, why can't 2 women do this??????
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Old 05-11-2013, 07:01 PM
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This CANNOT be resolved without pictures........
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Old 05-11-2013, 07:11 PM
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Originally Posted by t500hps View Post
If the story was about 2 guys the solution would be to go out for drinks and spill your concerns about what's been rumored and stating your desire to work together. You'd either leave buddies......or get thrown out for fighting. Either way, you find out where you stand with each other.


So, why can't 2 women do this??????
This is spot on... Do your best to live drama free. Don't worry about her.

I've learned Hater's are ALWAYS going hate. Get some thick skin and blow that shit off!!
Life's to short!!
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Old 05-11-2013, 07:51 PM
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I'm being honest when I say this, women must be incapable of working together. At my job I see it, women battling amongst themselves mostly. And my lovely wife brings home just tons of evidence to support my theory.

Sorry Vic, I'm a guy, I can't understand women anymore than the next swinging' Richard.
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Old 05-11-2013, 08:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Vic34 View Post
Some may say that it is me...but I digress....
This video has NOTHING to do with this post but...
http://www.hulu.com/watch/406402
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Old 05-11-2013, 08:34 PM
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I had a chief quality assurance evaluator working for me. He was very good at the job and knew his stuff. At the time probably the best one for it. I discovered from my other section chiefs that he was continually disparaging me to others. I took it for a while but kept hearing of his remarks. After I confirmed that it was indeed happening, I removed him from his job. You're either on my team or not. You don't have to like me to work for me but you do have to respect me and my position. If you can't then find someone else to work for. He found it necessary to find other employment. The person I put in his place quickly became just as good if not better at it than he was. The work environment and production quality improved. He took care of me and I ensured that I took care of him. I got him promoted to branch manager as I was leaving.
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Old 05-11-2013, 08:53 PM
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It seems you are handling the situation pretty well up to this point. I say carry on and discourage anyone from bringing gossip to you. It would appear you are getting your news from third parties. Nip this is the bud. Some people live for interoffice gossip and sometimes they try to make more of a situation than it merits. Concentrate on keeping up the great work you do. Give credit where credit is due. And don’t be afraid to reach out to her. Have lunch together to talk about “work”… you might make a friend. Just my $.02
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Old 05-11-2013, 09:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Bonakyon View Post
...Have lunch together to talk about “work”… you might make a friend. Just my $.02
OK. I just LOVE this thread!!!!!!!




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Old 05-11-2013, 09:42 PM
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I would have a "care"frontation with her. I would tell her everything you like about her and then tell her your concerns. I would only give factual examples of any negatives. If you don't have facts then tell her that these are your perceptions and that you want to know if they are true or not. I would write it down first and ensure that it is excatly what you want to say and that it is accurate. If you think you will get too emotional or angry then read it to her. You want to come across sincere. Then I would be quite and let her respond. Be ok with a long pause or silence. My 2 cents.
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Old 05-12-2013, 02:32 AM
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when I was a lad back in junior high, three things ruled who was dominate..wedgies, titty twisters and purple noogies..I sometimes wonder if going back to that philosophy wouldn't straighten out a lot of todays issues.....
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Old 05-12-2013, 03:29 AM
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Good managers look for ways to turn these situations into positives. Lots of good advise here.
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Old 05-12-2013, 04:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Hooper View Post
I'm being honest when I say this, women must be incapable of working together. At my job I see it, women battling amongst themselves mostly. And my lovely wife brings home just tons of evidence to support my theory.

Sorry Vic, I'm a guy, I can't understand women anymore than the next swinging' Richard.
I don't find this to be true at all. I have two women that work for me, and four guys, plus myself.
One of the ladies works in the office one in the shop. I would clone either or both women if I could. The guys are and always have been the issue.


"If the story was about 2 guys the solution would be to go out for drinks and spill your concerns about what's been rumored and stating your desire to work together. You'd either leave buddies......or get thrown out for fighting. Either way, you find out where you stand with each other.
So, why can't 2 women do this??????"

I like this, if you two can't work it out, then you know where you stand and make a move from there.
BTW, Happy Mothers day!
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