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-   -   friend flipped boat need advice (https://www.thehulltruth.com/dockside-chat/477506-friend-flipped-boat-need-advice.html)

relay 01-12-2013 07:46 PM

friend flipped boat need advice
 
I am a long time stalker here on the hull truth and have never really posted a lot, but I am reaching out to the boating world on advice. I have sought the advice of many of my friends but it is biased. So here goes my dilema, once a year a large group of friends and myself go to the outerbanks to an island and hang out for a week in the summer. One night a friend of mine took my boat out with a girl and ended up flipping it over. The story of how he flipped it was never too clear, but it happened. They went out about 10:00 at night and the next morning I realized they were not back so I called the coast guard. After many hours back and forth with the coastguard, they called and said my friends were safe and they would bring them back to the island, but I better make arrangements to go and retrieve my boat. By the way the coastguard were awsome to deal with and very professional. After they dropped my friends off they agreed to take us back to land but only one trip. My boat being the only transportation back and forth from the island and floating out in the albamaral sound we took them up on their offer. The coastguard called me a little while later and said a good samaritan had towed my boat to a dock and tied it to a sea wall. This saved me about $3000 which sea tow told me it would roughly cost. I drove to collington harbor to retreive my boat which was upside down and had been in saltwater for about 14 hours. We got the boat flipped over and on the trailer went to autozone and flushed the motor, but never could get it to start. Here is my question. Should my friend pay for a new motor? He is a long time friend of 23 years but has never made an attempt to pay up. I feel as our friendship is over because of this. It has been about 6 months since this happened and he has made no contact with me. I dont know if I should call and tell him to pay up knowing if he has not by now he is not planning too. Just looking to know how I should handle this. By the way the boat was a carolina skiff j14 with a 25 hp, not really a boat to take out in the albamaral sound 10:00 at night. Thanks

tommyr904 01-12-2013 07:57 PM

if he had your permission to use it,your beat.that's the risk of lending your boat out.on another note if he was a true friend he would offer to pay or help pay for another.

just my 2 cents

240 LTS 01-12-2013 08:00 PM

Had he been drinking (or anything else) and did you know it before you let him take the boat?

You say he is a long time friend of 23 years. How good a friend is he? My guess is he is not a friend at all.

You say "We" got the boat on the trailer and flushed it at Auto Zone.
Was he one of the "We"?

He never gave you a clear story of how it happened.
He never offered any kind of help in the repair/replacement?

1st- He is not a friend. He is someone you know.
2nd- Ask him nicely if he intends to correct his mistake. If he says no, don't say a word and walk away never to speak to him again and fix it yourself.


.

meii 01-12-2013 08:01 PM

I would say he is not a good friend if he did not offer to pay let alone avoid you for 6 months.
Screw him, tell him to pay.

bamaboy473 01-12-2013 08:01 PM

The friend knows that he's screwing the pooch about the boat, and his not manning up to you has been made perfectly clear over the past six months. He's no longer your friend.

If you have insurance, why didn't you file a claim within the time frame?

At this point, you might be able to get help from an attorney, but doubt that you'll recover from the guy.

None of what I wrote is a surprise to you, though. Sorry for your losses.

relay 01-12-2013 08:03 PM

he never had permission, but if he did I would have said yes. We WERE good friends.

captain nate 01-12-2013 08:06 PM

pics?

240 LTS 01-12-2013 08:08 PM

You THOUGHT you were good friends.
He didn't think much of the relationship.
He has no respect for you. (or himself)

Just think if one or both of them would have died. Worst yet, not found.


.


.

bigjimmie 01-12-2013 08:08 PM

if he was a real friend you wouldn't be posting that here. he would have found an engine for your boat and helped put it on. You're lucky he didn't get hurt and sue you:mad:

relay 01-12-2013 08:09 PM

I did not have insurance on the boat. I just used it to jump around in. I am sure drinking was involved, i was sleeping at the time they took it out. He was one who helped me retreive the boat and could not stop appologizing.

mikeloew 01-12-2013 08:11 PM


Originally Posted by meii (Post 5261431)
I would say he is not a good friend if he did not offer to pay let alone avoid you for 6 months.
Screw him, tell him to pay.

:thumbsup:this

auntiepaula 01-12-2013 08:14 PM

If he never had permission, you should have reported the boat as stolen. You should speak with an attorney in order to find out what your rights are.

relay 01-12-2013 08:15 PM

yea 240 I am very thankful they were not hurt. I dont want to think about what could have happened. I did not care about the boat until I found out they were both ok, then I became angry about the whole situation.

CenturyFisher 01-12-2013 08:15 PM

Considering he took it without your permission AND was drinking at the time, I would think that gives you a pretty solid ground to stand on asking for reimbursement. You haven't talked with him in 6 months so I would not worry about trying to preserve your "friendship" with this guy. He sounds like a scumbag. You said he did not stop apologizing...you should have told him to put his money where his mouth is.

240 LTS 01-12-2013 08:19 PM


Originally Posted by relay (Post 5261460)
I did not have insurance on the boat. I just used it to jump around in. I am sure drinking was involved, i was sleeping at the time they took it out. He was one who helped me retreive the boat and could not stop appologizing.

Is there a place to indorse that apology to help pay for the damage?

If he or she would have been hurt or killed, you may be getting sued.

You may try and force his hand to get the money but consider this a life lesson and life lessons are not free.

.

round2it 01-12-2013 08:27 PM

An expensive life lesson for sure but not as bad as life lessons could be. I would ask for the money as indicated above but wouldn't expect it.


Originally Posted by 240 LTS (Post 5261500)
Is there a place to indorse that apology to help pay for the damage?

If he or she would have been hurt or killed, you may be getting sued.

You may try and force his hand to get the money but consider this a life lesson and life lessons are not free.

.


walleyeguy6 01-12-2013 08:42 PM

I have a number of friends that I would loan my boat/jeep/whatever to, particularly in the pursuit of a shot of ass. But if they broke it they would make it right, because they're my friends.

As round2it and others stated, you just learned an expensive life lesson. At least no-one got hurt.

saltwaters 01-12-2013 08:47 PM

I'm surprised he hasn't paid up already. It doesn't matter if you lent him the boat. He was liable for his actions and should pay up. I question his integrity since he doesn't think he's responsible for his actions.

Freeebird 01-12-2013 08:54 PM


Originally Posted by relay (Post 5261383)
I am a long time stalker here on the hull truth and have never really posted a lot, but I am reaching out to the boating world on advice. I have sought the advice of many of my friends but it is biased. So here goes my dilema, once a year a large group of friends and myself go to the outerbanks to an island and hang out for a week in the summer. One night a friend of mine took my boat out with a girl and ended up flipping it over. The story of how he flipped it was never too clear, but it happened. They went out about 10:00 at night and the next morning I realized they were not back so I called the coast guard. After many hours back and forth with the coastguard, they called and said my friends were safe and they would bring them back to the island, but I better make arrangements to go and retrieve my boat. By the way the coastguard were awsome to deal with and very professional. After they dropped my friends off they agreed to take us back to land but only one trip. My boat being the only transportation back and forth from the island and floating out in the albamaral sound we took them up on their offer. The coastguard called me a little while later and said a good samaritan had towed my boat to a dock and tied it to a sea wall. This saved me about $3000 which sea tow told me it would roughly cost. I drove to collington harbor to retreive my boat which was upside down and had been in saltwater for about 14 hours. We got the boat flipped over and on the trailer went to autozone and flushed the motor, but never could get it to start. Here is my question. Should my friend pay for a new motor? He is a long time friend of 23 years but has never made an attempt to pay up. I feel as our friendship is over because of this. It has been about 6 months since this happened and he has made no contact with me. I dont know if I should call and tell him to pay up knowing if he has not by now he is not planning too. Just looking to know how I should handle this. By the way the boat was a carolina skiff j14 with a 25 hp, not really a boat to take out in the albamaral sound 10:00 at night. Thanks

I'm just curious as to what you did to "flush" the motor. I've dunked a number of outboards over the years, and all I did was pull the plugs, crank the motor over until water stopped coming out, drain the carb(s), and just keep cranking until it fired. Then again, that was in freshwater, but I can't imagine a short term saltwater dunking would make that much difference.

As for your friend, I think you're probably pretty well screwed unless you want to take him to small claims court. Then you still may be screwed depending on the circumstances.

Garett 01-12-2013 08:56 PM

I would put together three quotes on fixing your boat and then hand them to him. With handing him the quotes tell him you are disappointed that he has not come around and if he had you would have worked with him on the repairs, but as it is, here are the quotes and he can decide what one he wants to go with. Tell him you expect an answer in three days.

It is your choice if you tell him then and there that if his response is not favorable to you satisfaction you have other legal options. IMO giving the guy three days is more than respectful on your part....but I would hold him to those three days without exception.


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