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Adventures in Online Dating

Old 09-19-2012, 01:17 PM
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I dunno... the "old fashion way" was vastly overrated. Go hang out in a fern bar or meat market... get pretty stinking drunk... the closer to closing time, the more desperate. "Hey baby, what's your sign?"... or "Do you have a mirror in your pocket because I sure see myself in your pants!"... or the ever-puke-ular "When I first set on eyes on you, I knew heaven was missing an angel!"

Oh yeah. I'm breaking out those polyester leisure suits. And all my disco LPs. I *knew* they'd come back in style!
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Old 09-19-2012, 01:22 PM
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Old 09-19-2012, 01:25 PM
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The majority of the women all say the same thing.

"Hey sweetie, I really want to get to know you better. Do me a big favor and log into my private website. You have to use a credit card, but that's what I have to do to make sure you're serious."
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Old 09-19-2012, 01:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Dulcecita Lures View Post
I dunno... the "old fashion way" was vastly overrated. Go hang out in a fern bar or meat market... get pretty stinking drunk... the closer to closing time, the more desperate. "Hey baby, what's your sign?"... or "Do you have a mirror in your pocket because I sure see myself in your pants!"... or the ever-puke-ular "When I first set on eyes on you, I knew heaven was missing an angel!"

Oh yeah. I'm breaking out those polyester leisure suits. And all my disco LPs. I *knew* they'd come back in style!
my best line was to ask a girl I wanted to meet..."Did you drive tonight?" they would at first look at me odd, but usually say yes...then tell them, "Don't leave me, I'll need a ride home later." You would be shocked at how often that worked.

Doesn't work quite as well on MATCH though.

My favorite match date was a strange girl that looked more like my mom than a date, but she drove a dark gray Dodge Magnum (Station wagon) with the glass darkened, and the license plate that read "6FTUNDR" she was scary...
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Old 09-19-2012, 01:59 PM
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I don't know why you go to those sites and spend good money when you can just go to Walmart, haven't you seen all the lovely's they been posting on here?
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Old 09-19-2012, 02:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Gator56 View Post
I don't know why you go to those sites and spend good money when you can just go to Walmart, haven't you seen all the lovely's they been posting on here?
Gator.. you don't live east of I-95. You met a woman who has all her teeth and works at walmart over here you marry her. Don't ask no questions. Shes in the top 4% in the country with a job already. If walmart has her working full time, get the ring before the first date.You won't get many chances like that.
Come to think of it, that just might be,, the old fashion way.. ....
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Old 09-19-2012, 02:09 PM
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This thread has excellent potential.
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Old 09-19-2012, 05:19 PM
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Longish time married to a younger woman - I am not and don't ever expect to be in the dating pool again (I figure I will definitely die earlier); but I have enough friends in NYC on both the male and female sides between 35 and 55 involved in the dating scene to know that the freaks, losers and misrepresenting ply the internet sites on both sides.
I am enjoying the thread immensely.
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Old 09-19-2012, 05:25 PM
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Everyone I know thats doing the online thing tells me its ridiculous how many chicks you can, um, get busy with. I met a guy who was on adult friend finder and he showed me twenty or so pics of chicks that were hot as hell and he was happy, said a couple of them were actual whores it turned out.....but he was happy overall.
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Old 09-19-2012, 05:26 PM
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Originally Posted by CharlieFoxtrot View Post
Everyone I know thats doing the online thing tells me its ridiculous how many chicks you can, um, get busy with. I met a guy who was on adult friend finder and he showed me twenty or so pics of chicks that were hot as hell and he was happy, said a couple of them were actual whores it turned out.....but he was happy overall.
Call Girls
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Old 09-19-2012, 07:13 PM
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From POF (plentyoffsh.com), 51 years old. think she sounds a little bitter? WTF?

About Me
I recently got out of a relationship with someone that I had a lot of feelings for but when I think about how much he lied to me I realize he never really loved me. for all you liars and bs'ers some day you may answer for all the lies you told someone (only you and God really know how much you lied)...if you feel the need to turn your phone/ringer off when you walk in the door that's because your hiding something, its like the number 1 clue that someone is being shady,...i can't stand liars, bs'ers, sneaky shady people...and just because someone doesn't call you on it doesn't mean they don't know they're being lied to or that you're so much smarter than everyone else cause your not..and for all you fathers with daughters who think that your little princess deserves to be treated like a queen but you're treating the woman in your life wrong, need to keep in mind that we also are someones daughter and deserve to be treated good..and if you can't treat the woman in your life how you'd like your daughters to be treated then let the woman go (she didn't do anything wrong to you) with understanding and respect (she's already hurt cause even tho your a liar she still loved you)...I'm very confused in my feelings right now (why should I be upset at losing someone that didn't treat me very well, he never once in 5 months asked me what I would like to do, never took me out anywhere except to dinner a couple of times, never met my sons (tho we spent time with his children), tried to get me to do things I thought were morally wrong, lied about being racist (you can't call someone that you don't know the 'N' word just because of the color of their skin and not be racist) just be honest about who you are, there was no hugging no kissing no affection except during sex...Omg I really don't know what I'm upset about...i should really only be upset that I wasted my whole summer on someone that didn't deserve it.
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Old 09-19-2012, 08:15 PM
  #92  
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Originally Posted by bumster View Post
what is the old fashion way
Well, after 25 years of marriage, I figured I was done when we split.

I met my GF (that turns out to be 26 years younger than my ex) on a fishing site (she was also friends with the fiancé of a friend of mine). She lived 900 miles away, so we emailed and talked a lot on the phone. She had been to this area for fishing tournaments and to visit before we met. After X number of months, she drove here to NC and we got to know each other on Ocracoke Island over looking Silver Lake, been together over 5 years!

Still, the picture she sent of herself was totally bogus and she'd not nearly as independent as she claimed. I do hope she finishes her Masters Degree and starts supporting me soon! Also, she wants to get a Blackjack bay boat!
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Old 09-20-2012, 05:26 AM
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Wow...this is a priceless thread.

Did the Match site for a short time and I guess I was to honest (plus I'm in a small town and half the chicks on there already new who I was). Tons of emails, had a few dates. Somehow in the "what I'm looking for" area I must have checked all the boxes including bovine and JAP. Very first date was a girl that met me at a sushi bar, when she walked in she was wearing what appeared to be a prom dress in all peach color.....I spun around in my bar stool and quickly ordered the "saki sampler" (6 shots) and ended up having quite the night although she outweighed me a bit( I'm 200ish). I ended up having to drive her home, she puked down the side of my truck and she pestered me for a couple weeks. Most of the girls I met in the 35-45 range had BITTER tattooed on their foreheads and can't get thru the day without one of their "pills". Started to focus on the Latino variety and had some great times but the South Americans are incredibly temperamental, the Central American ones are mucho better.

As to womans profiles etc....I've seen a couple of my ex-wives on there and can only say that they must have changed their interests. One talks about how she "loves to cook"...WTF?
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Old 09-20-2012, 05:34 AM
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changed her interests, lmfao!!!! ha
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Old 09-20-2012, 05:49 AM
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Alright... so where are we? Currently there are 5 girls that I am dealing with - ranging from 35 to 41... For purposes of this thread I will assign a nickname to each of them.

Training Wheels: This was my first experience with online dating - she's the one in the picture that I posted. This thing has since run its course since she displayed signs that "it is what it is" really mean "you're broken, I can fix you - and I want this to be a long term committed relationship." My original plan was to wait the requisite amount of time before putting my pictures back up on Match - but due to the entertaining value of this thread - I decided to forge ahead. Like Ceasar said "Are you not entertained?!" Well- just as planned - the shit storm came up on me like a white squall in the form of 17 text meassages. They all pretty much said the same thing - "why didn't you tell me if you just wanted to see other people?" I explained time and time again that seeing other people wasn't the catalyst behind the decision to part ways - it was that we are in different places... I thanked her for the time we spent together and asked if we could still talk. Her idea of talking at this point is yelling and cussing. I don't think she's ready yet!!! As of this morning my phone is still blowing up!

Trashy Lady: This is the one that scares the shit out of me. She basically picked me apart based on my profile and questions that I answered on OKCupid. From what I can see - she lacks all sense of humor and the are of sarcastic wit is completely lost on her. For instance - she called me out on the fact that I answered a question stating that I get rip roaring drunk 1-3 times a month. Then on another I said I had never been drunk... no shit - it's a fawking joke. I also said that I was a virgin - my profile has a picture of my 2 kids. Anyway... she took the bait of "The Internet says we would get along....." She then promptly ripped me a new one. I decided that there was nothing left to do but to surgically disect her objections piece by piece and defend my honor. Most guys would tuck and run at this point... not me... I'm in it for the sport! She's blonde, blue eye, has several "bad tatoos" as she put it - one of which is visible on her breast...er....sorry, MASSIVE fake boob! She's very pretty - but she's "hard." She's a bartender, a spa consultant, and works a "few other gigs." I really think she might be a stripper. She has as stripper name - that's for dam sure!

Underoos: She is the quintisential "girl next door." She had a picture of herself with a pair of her kids underoos on her head playing "super hero" or some shit. Se assured me that they were clean. Anyway - this is another on Match. She looks to be fairly normal with an okay profile that doesn't immediately send up any red flags. I reached out to her yesterday not expecting to hear back - but I was surprised when she responded rather nicely stating the I am the real super hero for raising 2 girls. I emailed back - but haven't heard anything. She's really attractive - and conveniently only about 20 minutes away from me... We'll see what happens.

Jax: Jax looks very much like Underoos - so its kind of a 2 for 1. If one doesn't work out - then there is always the other. Jax hit the "The internet" power opener HARD. She responded that I'm right - if its on the Internet - it has to be true! Thanks Al Gore - you da MAN! Anyway - the only real downside here is that she lives in Jacksonville... a 2 hour haul. she came by way of POF.

Danger: This one is on Cupid. Cupid says we would have MAJOR issues. But she's hot - so I discredit that fat little bastard and went so far as to tell her that. It was almost the opposite of my tried and tested "power opener" but with a little variety thrown in. She hit the bait and said that she wasn't real sure - "her experience on this site hasn't been that good." In my typical fashion I showed an interest in what made her say that.... that was this morning so we will have to wait and see.

These are the only ones that I am considering right now. There's some chick in Vero that's kind of cute - but only has one picture up. I'm sure there is a photo grenade in there somewhere. She asked me to email her personally for more pictures... what the hell, right? I'll do that one later. Then there have been the hoardes of fatties and spookies. One appears to be a voodo Doctor from Pompano... she's 55 and didn't post a picture. She gave me her personal email address and asked that I contact her there... something about tarot card readings. Look - I already know how this is going to turn out... I don't need any fawking cards to tell me.

So guys - that's all the news that's fit to print as of this morning. I will provide updates in timely fashion. Right now it's all about getting the speed of the boat right, the right baits in the water, and tagretting the right species.
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Old 09-20-2012, 05:50 AM
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I was fortunate enough to not have to see my ex wife on those sites....see she started dating my neighbor just before I ran her off, and ended up marrying him. Now I see her almost daily. BUT...the best part of the online dating...for a LONG time, she got to see the turnover of chick cars pulling out of the driveway.

My favorite was the one on the morning after she got married, and her and her new hubby were sitting out on the front porch...as I opened the door for that nights babe, and pulled out of the driveway.

Another favorite story was the time that I actually got into an argument with one of my dates. I was already a little annoyed, since her profile name was hotlegs65.......which made me think she may have had great legs....nope, that was in 65 I think.
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Old 09-20-2012, 06:33 AM
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Originally Posted by Boataholic View Post
From POF (plentyoffsh.com), 51 years old. think she sounds a little bitter? WTF?

About Me
I recently got out of a relationship with someone that I had a lot of feelings for but when I think about how much he lied to me I realize he never really loved me. for all you liars and bs'ers some day you may answer for all the lies you told someone (only you and God really know how much you lied)...if you feel the need to turn your phone/ringer off when you walk in the door that's because your hiding something, its like the number 1 clue that someone is being shady,...i can't stand liars, bs'ers, sneaky shady people...and just because someone doesn't call you on it doesn't mean they don't know they're being lied to or that you're so much smarter than everyone else cause your not..and for all you fathers with daughters who think that your little princess deserves to be treated like a queen but you're treating the woman in your life wrong, need to keep in mind that we also are someones daughter and deserve to be treated good..and if you can't treat the woman in your life how you'd like your daughters to be treated then let the woman go (she didn't do anything wrong to you) with understanding and respect (she's already hurt cause even tho your a liar she still loved you)...I'm very confused in my feelings right now (why should I be upset at losing someone that didn't treat me very well, he never once in 5 months asked me what I would like to do, never took me out anywhere except to dinner a couple of times, never met my sons (tho we spent time with his children), tried to get me to do things I thought were morally wrong, lied about being racist (you can't call someone that you don't know the 'N' word just because of the color of their skin and not be racist) just be honest about who you are, there was no hugging no kissing no affection except during sex...Omg I really don't know what I'm upset about...i should really only be upset that I wasted my whole summer on someone that didn't deserve it.
Ohhh K. When you use the phrase "N word" do you mean neurotic?
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Old 09-20-2012, 06:37 AM
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Originally Posted by NCcarguy View Post
I'm thinking about signing back up now just for the fun of it!! You think the G/F would mind?

You'll need to start another thread!
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Old 09-20-2012, 06:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Blue Chip View Post
Alright... so where are we? Currently there are 5 girls that I am dealing with - ranging from 35 to 41... For purposes of this thread I will assign a nickname to each of them.

Training Wheels: This was my first experience with online dating - she's the one in the picture that I posted. This thing has since run its course since she displayed signs that "it is what it is" really mean "you're broken, I can fix you - and I want this to be a long term committed relationship." My original plan was to wait the requisite amount of time before putting my pictures back up on Match - but due to the entertaining value of this thread - I decided to forge ahead. Like Ceasar said "Are you not entertained?!" Well- just as planned - the shit storm came up on me like a white squall in the form of 17 text meassages. They all pretty much said the same thing - "why didn't you tell me if you just wanted to see other people?" I explained time and time again that seeing other people wasn't the catalyst behind the decision to part ways - it was that we are in different places... I thanked her for the time we spent together and asked if we could still talk. Her idea of talking at this point is yelling and cussing. I don't think she's ready yet!!! As of this morning my phone is still blowing up!

Trashy Lady: This is the one that scares the shit out of me. She basically picked me apart based on my profile and questions that I answered on OKCupid. From what I can see - she lacks all sense of humor and the are of sarcastic wit is completely lost on her. For instance - she called me out on the fact that I answered a question stating that I get rip roaring drunk 1-3 times a month. Then on another I said I had never been drunk... no shit - it's a fawking joke. I also said that I was a virgin - my profile has a picture of my 2 kids. Anyway... she took the bait of "The Internet says we would get along....." She then promptly ripped me a new one. I decided that there was nothing left to do but to surgically disect her objections piece by piece and defend my honor. Most guys would tuck and run at this point... not me... I'm in it for the sport! She's blonde, blue eye, has several "bad tatoos" as she put it - one of which is visible on her breast...er....sorry, MASSIVE fake boob! She's very pretty - but she's "hard." She's a bartender, a spa consultant, and works a "few other gigs." I really think she might be a stripper. She has as stripper name - that's for dam sure!

Underoos: She is the quintisential "girl next door." She had a picture of herself with a pair of her kids underoos on her head playing "super hero" or some shit. Se assured me that they were clean. Anyway - this is another on Match. She looks to be fairly normal with an okay profile that doesn't immediately send up any red flags. I reached out to her yesterday not expecting to hear back - but I was surprised when she responded rather nicely stating the I am the real super hero for raising 2 girls. I emailed back - but haven't heard anything. She's really attractive - and conveniently only about 20 minutes away from me... We'll see what happens.

Jax: Jax looks very much like Underoos - so its kind of a 2 for 1. If one doesn't work out - then there is always the other. Jax hit the "The internet" power opener HARD. She responded that I'm right - if its on the Internet - it has to be true! Thanks Al Gore - you da MAN! Anyway - the only real downside here is that she lives in Jacksonville... a 2 hour haul. she came by way of POF.

Danger: This one is on Cupid. Cupid says we would have MAJOR issues. But she's hot - so I discredit that fat little bastard and went so far as to tell her that. It was almost the opposite of my tried and tested "power opener" but with a little variety thrown in. She hit the bait and said that she wasn't real sure - "her experience on this site hasn't been that good." In my typical fashion I showed an interest in what made her say that.... that was this morning so we will have to wait and see.

These are the only ones that I am considering right now. There's some chick in Vero that's kind of cute - but only has one picture up. I'm sure there is a photo grenade in there somewhere. She asked me to email her personally for more pictures... what the hell, right? I'll do that one later. Then there have been the hoardes of fatties and spookies. One appears to be a voodo Doctor from Pompano... she's 55 and didn't post a picture. She gave me her personal email address and asked that I contact her there... something about tarot card readings. Look - I already know how this is going to turn out... I don't need any fawking cards to tell me.

So guys - that's all the news that's fit to print as of this morning. I will provide updates in timely fashion. Right now it's all about getting the speed of the boat right, the right baits in the water, and tagretting the right species.

This thread is the best one I have seen in a LONG time.
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Old 09-20-2012, 07:32 AM
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This thread should last about three years! It takes that long to discover the new you after a divorce!
You should be getting close to a serious relationship after three years,although it took me 14! I had trust issues with women! I started to feel like a Man Ho!

I need to stock up on munchies so I don't miss anything!

We are going to need pics! The Good,The Bad and The ugly! It will help keep us interested
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