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Adventures in Online Dating

Old 09-21-2012, 11:45 AM
  #201  
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Originally Posted by cgrand View Post
you still have all your hair & teeth, and your kids are cute
should have no problem making them ovulate
throw a puppy picture in there and hang on for the ride
I cannot keep up, I know this was 5 pages back but HAHAHAHAHAHA!
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Old 09-21-2012, 11:47 AM
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Originally Posted by jagerhunchback View Post
like i said before this thread is chock full of win!!! as for the haters that are attempting to psychoanalyze blue chip in regards to his reconnaisance leave they guy alone, if you don't like the mthod find some other thread to practice your supposed headshrinker skillsets.
Ahhhh... it's okay. Fact is - there were some pretty good points made. I have a method to my madness (at least I think so) that may or not be the right way. For me, and by nature of who I am personally and professionally, knowledge is power. This is also a pure numbers game - and statistically - the odds are against you. If you use whatever information that is available to help you in your quest - I don't see much wrong with it....others may. That's alright.

If I were a painfully private person - or thought I knew everything about how this is "supposed" to work - I probably wouldn't be posting this stuff up here. I knew before I started this thread that I would open myself to conjecture, ridicule, and likewise. I'm okay with that. Who knows - maybe there will be others that learn from my mistakes... time will tell.

In the meantime - I think I'm going to have to shit or get off the pot here with Underoos. We appear to have a fair amount in common - at least on the surface. She says that she isn't looking for a relationship right off - and that she's casually like to get to know someone. I'm great with that. But I can't leave this fish on the line forever - time to step it up.
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Old 09-21-2012, 11:57 AM
  #203  
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This thread has pretty much taken up most of my day.

The fact that BlueChip called "Fish On" was perfect.
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Old 09-21-2012, 12:06 PM
  #204  
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Originally Posted by NCcarguy View Post
I had one like underoos from my last time, and what always happened was that every time we were together, I ended up pissing her off badly! She STAYED mad at me. I had to cut it off. Funny thing though, it's been over a year, and she STILL will text me on occasion to see if she could come spend a night with me. I suppose eventually she will find love somewhere else, and I'll probably be sad about it. lol
You mistaking Underoos for Training Wheels? C'mon man... you gotta keep up!
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Old 09-21-2012, 12:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Blue Chip View Post
You mistaking Underoos for Training Wheels? C'mon man... you gotta keep up!
By the end of this I'm pretty sure we're going to need a diagram to keep them straight. Absolutely fantastic thread though, I'm enjoying the hell out of reading this.
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Old 09-21-2012, 12:35 PM
  #206  
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You better reel something in for the weekend soon!

Whatever you do, don't forget the camera, we want a pictorial on Monday!
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Old 09-21-2012, 12:40 PM
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Right now it looks like Underoos is the best shot... however - she has kids this weekend (whereas I do not). I need to get the commitment though. There is a lot of time left in the game!

The E-dating may not pan out this weekend - which is fine... I am going to an event on Saturday that a friend is bringing another friend... so there may be something there.

I'll try to sight cast to a few more tonight and see what happens. I'm still hopeful that "Bee" may pan out as well.

"Jax" just showed back up on the radar with a simple "hi" message. That makes me crazy - now I have to bait the hook all over again... maybe she's just trying to stay current.
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Old 09-21-2012, 12:47 PM
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Sounds like the timing is off with training wheels but keep her on the stringer and don't let her go limp on you!
I say it's time to reel underoos in and see if she is the catch of the day!
This thread is getting more action than the peak of the salmon run up north!
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Old 09-21-2012, 01:14 PM
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Subscribed, because this is too good not to be subscribed.
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Old 09-21-2012, 01:24 PM
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Send Trashy a YouTube link to her country song.

I like my wimin just a little on the trashy side. . .

Last edited by gofastsandman; 09-21-2012 at 04:23 PM.
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Old 09-21-2012, 01:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Blue Chip View Post
I'll look for the happy medium... I get to the writing and there's no telling what happens!

EDIT: 1:50pm and all is quiet in E-dating land.

Underoos usually has a response for me around noon. I've got nothing. DOUBLE EDIT: She's back and given me a ton to work with... Sweeeeeeetttt....
Bee hasn't written back... I'm about convinced that she's a trust fund baby.
Training wheels is radio silent.
Danger is off the grid.
Jax is off the grid.
Trashy lady is off the grid.... ugh... she's SO hot in a trashy way... scares the shit out of me too.

WTF is going on here? Yes - I am accutely aware that it's mid-day Friday and most normal people are actually working and not surfing E-dating sites... but Goddammit - it's nearly the fawking weekend.... don't people usually want to start shoring up plans? I've been trolling a spread all day without so much as a bite - and I can't sight fish for them right now... that "work / career" thing tends to get in the way of sight fishing.

Anyway - I feel pretty comfortable with the waters I'm fishing... just need to wait for the bite. Regardless - I really thought about calling Training Wheels later and listening to her yell at me. Part of me wants to becasue it's what I know. I'm used to getting nagged and bitched at. It feels like home. Then there's the other part of me that simply doesn't care enough to put up with it. Why should I subject myself to putting up with some bullshit from someone that knew better. I told her what I was, what I was capable of, and where this was going to go. She chose not to listen.

It's like the story of the little girl... one day she's walking down the street and finds a snake... it's 1/2 dead, malnourished and freezing. She brings it home, feeds it, wraps it in a blanket.... nurses it back to health. As soon as she does - it turns and bites her. She looked at the snake and said, "What did you do that for? I saved you from certain death. I fed you and gave you a warm place to heal."

The snake simply looked at her and said "Bitch, you knew I was a snake... what did you think would happen?"
You preachers sure do have some good snake stories. Name:  popcorn.gif
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Originally Posted by Blue Chip View Post
Been there too. Even though FL is not a state that we must inform - the conversation usually goes pretty easily. I am carrying most of the time plus there is one in the console. I typically hand the officer my DL, CCL, and my Clergy card... that's right - I'm also an Ordained Minister. I have gotten some interesting looks when I have 3 1911's, 2 9mm's, and an AR in the car with me. Yet to get a ticket!
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Old 09-21-2012, 01:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Blue Chip View Post
Right now it looks like Underoos is the best shot... however - she has kids this weekend (whereas I do not). I need to get the commitment though. There is a lot of time left in the game!

The E-dating may not pan out this weekend - which is fine... I am going to an event on Saturday that a friend is bringing another friend... so there may be something there.

I'll try to sight cast to a few more tonight and see what happens. I'm still hopeful that "Bee" may pan out as well.

"Jax" just showed back up on the radar with a simple "hi" message. That makes me crazy - now I have to bait the hook all over again... maybe she's just trying to stay current.
You got this backwards with Jax. SHE has YOU hooked. She's playing the shy and quiet type. The more you bait the hook for her, the more she is going to reel you in.
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Old 09-21-2012, 01:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Freeebird View Post
You preachers sure do have some good snake stories.
God Damn... you had me scratching my head there for a minute... I was trying to remember if I had mentioned that in the earlier post...

For those just tuning in - yeah... one of the things that my Ex bitched about was that I never asked to go to church... now - I would gladly go anytime she wanted (which was never) - but she never asked.

After the divorce I decided to become and Ordained Minister. I figured it would make for a great power opener for the face to face (traditional) meetings with potential...mates... it's a bit too scary to use online though. Anyway - after I got my creds - I sent my ex a picture of my Clergy card along with a note that said - "God Damn right.... now I AM the church!"

So far being a Minister has gotten my friend laid - just not me yet. I had gone to the bathroom at a restraunt while we were sitting at the bar. When I came back he was chatting up a couple of girls... as I walked up all I heard was "....Swear to fawking God - he's a God Damned Ordained Minister...." Well - he quickly made a bet with her that if I was she had to come with us for the rest of the night.... she and her walrus friend. Anyway - he got laid and I drove the walrus home and jerked off in the shower.

I really need to develop the face to face Power Opener though... I haven't had to use it in a LONG time - so it's a bit rusty.
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Old 09-21-2012, 02:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Blue Chip View Post
God Damn... you had me scratching my head there for a minute... I was trying to remember if I had mentioned that in the earlier post...

For those just tuning in - yeah... one of the things that my Ex bitched about was that I never asked to go to church... now - I would gladly go anytime she wanted (which was never) - but she never asked.

After the divorce I decided to become and Ordained Minister. I figured it would make for a great power opener for the face to face (traditional) meetings with potential...mates... it's a bit too scary to use online though. Anyway - after I got my creds - I sent my ex a picture of my Clergy card along with a note that said - "God Damn right.... now I AM the church!"

So far being a Minister has gotten my friend laid - just not me yet. I had gone to the bathroom at a restraunt while we were sitting at the bar. When I came back he was chatting up a couple of girls... as I walked up all I heard was "....Swear to fawking God - he's a God Damned Ordained Minister...." Well - he quickly made a bet with her that if I was she had to come with us for the rest of the night.... she and her walrus friend. Anyway - he got laid and I drove the walrus home and jerked off in the shower.

I really need to develop the face to face Power Opener though... I haven't had to use it in a LONG time - so it's a bit rusty.
So, you became an ordained minister in order to get laid? Put that on your profile and you'll have women lining up!
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Old 09-21-2012, 02:07 PM
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I would treat "training Wheels" like a Dolphin.keep her hooked and at the side of the boat. You might pull in a few more just to see whats going on.
BTW The Jerking off after the Walrus was home.... Well choose words a bit more carefully.
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Old 09-21-2012, 02:33 PM
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Blue Chip ,I read on a shit house wall once that said,Herpes is bad,Aids is worse,jack off safety first....Like I tell my 2 boys "no love without a GLOVE" best of luck to you....
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Old 09-21-2012, 02:49 PM
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Felt like crap today and found this thread, laughing my ass off.

But also glad I don't have to deal with that shit. but good luck and have fun!

REAAALLY makes me feel bad for the women my age though who never married. Especially the ones with pets! The are legitmately wonderful people, educated, self sufficient with careers, but probably too set in their ways for anyone to want to deal with them.
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Old 09-21-2012, 03:16 PM
  #218  
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Default Sick minds think alike

Originally Posted by llord View Post
Is this a sequel to There's something about Mary?? Alot of investigating!
Roflmao, great movie
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Old 09-21-2012, 04:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Freeebird View Post
So, you became an ordained minister in order to get laid? Put that on your profile and you'll have women lining up!
LOL. I had a friend that did that same thing 15 years ago, online no less.

I don't get it but it worked. Bigtime!
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Old 09-21-2012, 06:37 PM
  #220  
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So is tonight your night bro?
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