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Adderol and an old friend.....

Old 06-02-2012, 10:11 PM
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Default Adderol and an old friend.....

I have been friends with this guy for almost 20+ years, he's in a bad way and not sure which way to go with it, He used to be a very squared away guy, got married, had a couple of kids life was grand.....got a plantars wart and went through a bunch of surgery's ended up getting pain medicine and I'm guessing started to abuse, my wife and his wife are good friends as well, his wife is done, moved out (in with her parents as no other place to go) they have two kids that are caught in the middle........He seems delusional and schizophrenic....pretty much off his rocker and not the same guy I used to be friends with, he's totaled two vehicles in the past six months, won't pay child or spousal support as he swears she's cheating on him......I could go on about the situation but it boils down to he called me tonight wanting to know who his x's new boyfriend is, threatening to kick my ass kill me burn my house down etc etc......wanted to know when was a good time to come by and give me my ass whipping......I know he's in a bad way and needs help.....my wife(the smarter of the 2 of us) said if he show's up here she's calling the cops.....I'm guessing that's the best solution as I'm 20 years out of high school and not willing to deal with this drama, but here's the kicker, cop's are 10-20 minutes away.....so what do I do in the mean time?? I'm not sit back and allow him to endanger my wife and family,vandalize and destroy my stuff trying to taunt me into as he put an old fashioned ass whippin....not really sure what to do, it's a lose lose situation ..........I just want my friend back but have come to the realization that's not gonna happen......It sucks the most for his wife and kids that are being subjected to this shit, my mom was a substance abuse counselor and said that adderol is some terrible stuff and that when abused is transforming and the person may never return to the original state.....thanks for reading through the long post any advice would be appreciated.....
Monty
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Old 06-02-2012, 10:37 PM
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1. you need to make sure he has a nice big life insurance plan in place

2. if you don't already have a gun it is too late for that because you will never be able to get a gun, learn to use it properly, and most importantly get your head around the idea that you are going to blast someone with it especially your childhood friend.....most likely what would happen is he would show up skitzed out and ready to do battle and you would brandish it and have it taken and at worst used against you

3. if you have had a gun for personal protection for a while it is time to brush up and mentally prepare

4. I would say record his calls and have them turned over to the police as threatening behavior, but the police are useless in any situation especially one like this so that will just further egg him on towards you

5. you need to try and let him know/believe that you are distancing from her without him around.....things like "hey you were my friend not her and not that you are her are apart I don't keep in contact with her" so he will get the idea you are of no use to him in the battle with her

6. you need to try and contact her (if you trust her to not be an idiot) and see if she is in the process of getting him locked away for something

7. if you have other friends on the "group" you need to discuss with the ones that you know are not blabber mouths

8. I am not the adderol expert, but I thought it was what the college kids were taking to stay up all night and study and clean house and actually be glad they did.....well I actually know this is what they are using it for......it sounds like your friend might be on something else or he is self medicating with something else along with the adderol...also adderol is not for pain it is happy pills so I don't think the adderol is from the wart treatment it sounds like he was already on it or he was moved to it to try and cure a pain medication issue......nice try "docs"

9. you probably need to try and talk with his Dr. or Drs and let them know....if they seem disinterested or hand tied let it slip what a great lawyer you have and how they can easily come after Drs for malpractice for the craziness of their known crazy patients if something happens

10. IF...BIG IF you are going to continue to engage him then you need to pick and choose when and where and you need to be steering him into the fact he has hit rock bottom before he actually does hit rock bottom and get him some help......hopefully while he is on some type of insurance....if he and the X are still married or common law or what ever and she can still sign things as a couple then get that life insurance and get some health insurance that covers drug treatment if he does not have it.....if he still has a job and it has insurance that covers drug treatment then he needs to go before the job is......if the job goes his X needs to be covering the COBRA no matter the cost of the insurance covers drug treatment until he winds up there

11. if you already have guns in the house you do need to get your wife in line with the gun.....she is not his life long friend right and you are her husband and he wants to come after you.....just ask any cop how a woman can get when her husband is getting attacked (or arrested after beating her down).....that is why cops hate domestics because you are going to probably dealing with two nuts at least......so more than likely if something does go down it would be your wife possibly having to step up

12. you need to cover all bases with the X if you can talk to her and then decide if you are full in to either help your friend or watch him hit bottom or if you are full in to distance and take what he brings to you......if you are full in to help him then you need to get proactive as best as possible after feeling out his remaining friends and family if you are full in to distance from him then you need to be proactive with that with a positive tone at first telling him to seek help and stop calling and then more aggressive and be prepared to be full in on dealing with him on your property being hostile

without knowing him or you that is the best I can offer
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Old 06-02-2012, 10:53 PM
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This is a scary post..my 18 yr old son is on aderal. Didn't realize the issues associated with this drug. Wow...wake up call for me.
But this dude is not your friend. Move and or get a shotgun and don't tell any one.where you live. Protect your Family and Pray.
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Old 06-03-2012, 03:43 AM
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Tough situation. Would at taser or mace provide a solution? I believe a law enforcement officer could provide valuable advice here.
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Old 06-03-2012, 03:59 AM
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He threatened you over the phone. Go to the cops and at least file a report. You cannot respond to this by hiding in a corner. What I mean by that is to become passive in contacting him, but make notes of when he contacts you including time, date what was said (let him do ALL the talking -limit your responses to a yes, no or I don't know). If a few encounters persist where violence is threatened, go to the local magistrate and have a Peace (Restraining ) Order issued. This guy is what I refer to as "on the other side" and he has no rational control. If contact persists after an order is issued, file a complaint. Once he is in custody, you and his wife can quickly go to the court and plead for a competency hearing. Believe me - been ther done that - it's not an easy road but when it goes this far it may be the only (legal) way to handle.
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Old 06-03-2012, 04:14 AM
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you said he was addicted to Adderall because of pain? Adderall is not a pain medication.Adderall is a brand name of amphetamine s medication used for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and narcolepsy. Get a restraining order on him, and arm yourself.
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Old 06-03-2012, 04:36 AM
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We lost a son, 'my stepson' because of adderol. He went to the UI studying for his doctors degree and a dumbass doctor up there was writing prescriptions out for adderol like it was the miracle drug for late night studying and thought there were no more side affects than what maybe Red Bull would cause. We only would see him for short visits on some holidays due to his intense studying he went through and neither his Mom or I would of ever thought he'd pursue becoming a doctor but he was pushed.
When we arrived for his graduation the son we had known didn't exist anymore and his life was a pure self tormented hell then and after until about another year till his death. He although never did any harm to anyone and was only hard on himself. What a great lost of a great kid. He love to fish and he was always the first one to find the red snapper when we'd go out. God Bless you Adam.
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Old 06-03-2012, 04:56 AM
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You have to protect yourself 1st, then your family. (you can't protect your family if you're not around).

This is the order I would do things. File a police report. Go pick him up and bring him to your house "to talk". Work him over with your baseball bat. Call 911. Visit him in jail and tell him the next time he threatens you or your family you will be visiting him at his gravesite.

If his threats are real I would not take it lightly. I've always tried to live by : I don't get even, I get ahead. Makes people think before they f with you.
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Old 06-03-2012, 05:02 AM
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Originally Posted by airbrush View Post
He threatened you over the phone. Go to the cops and at least file a report. You cannot respond to this by hiding in a corner. What I mean by that is to become passive in contacting him, but make notes of when he contacts you including time, date what was said (let him do ALL the talking -limit your responses to a yes, no or I don't know). If a few encounters persist where violence is threatened, go to the local magistrate and have a Peace (Restraining ) Order issued. This guy is what I refer to as "on the other side" and he has no rational control. If contact persists after an order is issued, file a complaint. Once he is in custody, you and his wife can quickly go to the court and plead for a competency hearing. Believe me - been ther done that - it's not an easy road but when it goes this far it may be the only (legal) way to handle.
x2
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Old 06-03-2012, 05:36 AM
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I don't have much to add but felt compelled to chime in.

Are any of your mutual friends still in contact with him? Maybe some sort of intervention?

I agree with filing a report and attempting to get a restraining order, although it may not help if he is this delusional. I'd do what it takes to keep myself, family and property safe.

Also, people need to be aware of the side effects of the medications they are taking. Have a loved one aware too, so they can intervene if they see something happening before it becomes this much of a problem. My wife had a side effect that effects about 1-3% of those who take it. It almost cost her her life. While it means the odds of it happening are low, they are not -0- and should always be on your mind.

I feel for you and Gator. I has to be tough.
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Old 06-03-2012, 06:12 AM
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Your mom was a substance abuse counselor. She has the answer you seek, or she should. If he's not paying support the wife can have him jailed. That might be the best way to help everyone envolved. Best of luck.
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Old 06-03-2012, 07:46 AM
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Thanks for the replies......I'm not sure how he got to taking adderol, but he starting taking pain pills when he had the surgeries and I guess he just graduated......I believe adderol is his drug of choice but I don't think it makes much difference to him as long as he gets his fix from something.....he has distanced himself from just about all of his friends, I had been determined not to turn my back on him but now he has gone and threatened me and my family.....Gonna go have a talk with the magistrate today and see what can be done.......He's in a bad way and I don't wish him any ill will but in the same sense I'm not gonna allow him to make me or my family victims......
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Old 06-03-2012, 08:16 AM
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It is a terrible lose/lose situation.

Keep documenting the situation as that is your only saving grace. As stated keep the police involved and updated. That is for your protection not from him per-say but from legal problems if something does happen. You just need to cover your butt. I pray that it does not lead to any confrontation for you as the last thing you want to do.

The most dangerous person in the world is someone with nothing to lose.
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Old 06-03-2012, 08:31 AM
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Originally Posted by ol guide View Post
you said he was addicted to Adderall because of pain? Adderall is not a pain medication.Adderall is a brand name of amphetamine s medication used for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and narcolepsy. Get a restraining order on him, and arm yourself.
Restraining order and a handgun. I know part of you feels bad for him, but if he's gone this far, don't think for a second that he won't escalate if the situation arises.

Stay away, don't give him any reason to visit, and if he does show up, remind him of the restraining order. If he comes in the house, it's time to stop the threat. Pray that it never comes to that.
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Old 06-03-2012, 08:41 AM
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Think hard about going to the police and getting a restraining order against this guy......it will be in your favor if he should eventually chose to escalate his threatening behavior against you and your family....
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Old 06-03-2012, 09:30 AM
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Kinda shocked at all the "get a gun" replies. If you really feel this guy is a threat to you and your families lives, get the cops involved immediately. A gun will only protect you in this situation if you shoot him, if you aren't prepared to pull the trigger and put your buddy down permanently, get a good aluminum bat and keep it handy.
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Old 06-03-2012, 09:33 AM
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Get a handgun, then get your family outta there. Call the Police. If they don't do anything... and he keeps making threats then split his head open with a bat.
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Old 06-03-2012, 09:48 AM
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Originally Posted by gort View Post
Kinda shocked at all the "get a gun" replies. If you really feel this guy is a threat to you and your families lives, get the cops involved immediately. A gun will only protect you in this situation if you shoot him, if you aren't prepared to pull the trigger and put your buddy down permanently, get a good aluminum bat and keep it handy.
Why the shock? If someone has gone that far off balance, they aren't going to say to themselves, "well, I really want to go kick his a$$, but since he got that RO I'm not allowed near his house".

Not dissing on cops, but what do you expect them to do? Drive by your house every 15 minutes? Maybe leave a patrol car outside your house? There isn't much they can do until the guy does something, and by then whatever is going to happen is going to happen before they get there.

A self defense gun isn't primarily used to kill someone, it's used to stop a bad person from doing bad things. As such, it is often more effective than a bat.
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Old 06-03-2012, 09:59 AM
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When seconds count, the police are only minutes away
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Old 06-03-2012, 10:08 AM
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I have hand guns and licence to carry concelaed but I never do. I would not want to shoot anyone or even use a gun as a deterent, very very big big step you don't want to go there. Get mace/pepper spray and a baton. You can buy the batons on amazon.com. Buy the nice S&W one for about $25. keep a mace and a baton in each car and a set in the house. The batons are not illegal in mass. Hope you never have to use any of this stuff. Good luck, be safe.
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