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What can I do to get my wife to lose weight?

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What can I do to get my wife to lose weight?

Old 05-06-2012, 08:55 PM
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Default What can I do to get my wife to lose weight?

I sure hope no one that knows my wife see's this post! I've been married for 27 years and in the last 15 years my wife has been putting on the pounds. I don't mean a little but, I'm talking about 75+lbs. I'm not skinny but for me to get to my ideal weight I would need to lose about 40lbs which I'm working on.

I've emailed her information on the lap band procedure, we have discussed gastric bypass, etc but she hasn't done anything. I know she hates it because of the extra weight but I don't understand why she won't do anything. The weight hasn't slowed her down, she works 55 hours a week, comes home and makes dinner, clothes washed every day, and our house is spotless.

She is still a very pretty women but I'm not into really big women. I like them with some meat on their bones but not this much. It's really hard on our relationship and I have no desire to look for another women, but I would be lying if I said I haven't thought about it.

It's really amazing how many of my friends have the same problem. It seems like marriage is permission to gain weight. Do any of you have suggestions, advice, or understand why she won't do anything about it?

Russ
Old 05-06-2012, 08:59 PM
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The only way to win this is to make it 100% about YOU losing weight, and convince her she has to do it with you for moral support.

Or just start putting "no fat chicks" bumper stickers around the house.
Old 05-06-2012, 09:49 PM
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Have her pull her car to work. No food after 3:00pm 1700cal/day. Lap bands do not work, lifestyle will overide a lap band. Gastric bypass will kill you, there is no need for it. Once again it is LIFESTYLE..............
Old 05-06-2012, 10:21 PM
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Wait a day or two, show her this thread and she'll drop 200 pounds in a heartbeat! And you won't have a wife to worry about anymore.

How about making a docters appointment for the both of you. Then signing up for a gym (both of you) so you can support each other while you get in shape together.

I'm sure you love your wife but lets be real, it's her health your worried about and she nneds to be around long enough to take care of you.

Work on it together but also make sure there are no underlying health problems first.

You may want to start things off with a walk around the block after dinner.
Old 05-06-2012, 10:28 PM
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Chemotherapy guaranteed to work not to mention making you crook
Old 05-07-2012, 12:35 AM
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Originally Posted by KJ6TQG View Post
Have her pull her car to work. No food after 3:00pm 1700cal/day. Lap bands do not work, lifestyle will overide a lap band. Gastric bypass will kill you, there is no need for it. Once again it is LIFESTYLE..............
This is just BS! Lifestyle does play a part in weight gain but there are so many other factors that are out of a persons control. When these factors like age, genetics, hormones, depression, metabolism, lifestyle, food choices come together you gain weight. eliminating just one of the factors won't cure obesity.

The lap band does work but it has issues. The gastric sleeve is the newest procedure and one worth considering if you have a BMI over 30. They remove 80% of your stomach by arthroscopic surgery. Recovery is quick. The hunger hormone producing part of your stomach is removed. What you are left with is a small sleeve/tube that holds about 4 oz of food and will never stretch. Hunger is greatly diminished and you feel satiated eating about 800 calories per day consisting of mostly protein. When you reach your goal weight you can eat whatever you want but in small quantities. Small amounts fill you up quickly.

It's a life changing procedure.
Old 05-07-2012, 02:18 AM
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You can't do a damn thing. If she is handling her business and treating you right just forget it. Just remember happy wife happy life! No offense but after 27 years of marriage I am sure you are no head turner yourself.
Old 05-07-2012, 02:33 AM
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Not much you can do besides lose it yourself and hope she follows along. Weight is one of those things were "the person has to want to do so." No one else can wish it on them and threats of leaving are going to make things go south no matter how it's done. Make dam$ sure you're prepared to lose her if those words ever leave your lips. I have a long time friend that discovered that the hard way.
Old 05-07-2012, 02:48 AM
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Some good advice and of course those gastric things work (albeit same risks as all surgery here maybe a tad more) IF the operatee make some other changes are REALLY want it to work.

Originally Posted by Flot View Post
The only way to win this is to make it 100% about YOU losing weight, and convince her she has to do it with you for moral support.
x3 YES! I would take up an interest in clean eating like chicken grilling, lean light meals, fruits and exercise and stuff cause you have noticed YOUR weight slowing YOU down and with some luck it will slowly catch on. Take the bull by the horns so to speak and actually do some cooking and walking for exercise and stuff yourself. May have to ease into this slowly to make it look genuine.


Originally Posted by GulfC View Post
Not much you can do besides lose it yourself and hope she follows along. Weight is one of those things were "the person has to want to do so." No one else can wish it on them and threats of leaving are going to make things go south no matter how it's done. Make dam$ sure you're prepared to lose her if those words ever leave your lips. I have a long time friend that discovered that the hard way.
Some more truth here.
Old 05-07-2012, 03:07 AM
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I've got a neighbor that went from 340# to 180# in about a year with diet and exercise. In 2 more years he was back up to 275# and seems to be maintaining that. His wife is short was a duece + when he was 340# and seems to be slowly gaining like a lot of people do as they age.

My wife has a friend that got the lap band. She ate thru that thing and must have stretched it all out of proportion. She never lost an ounce.

Size is less important to me than a pretty face, skin quality, and having a womanly shape. I wouldn't deal well with cankles.

-------------------------------------------------------

You are going to have to get her to help you stay motivated to lose weight. You are going to have to express loving concern for her health. If you are very tactful you could guilt her about being selfish indicating she doesn't care if she's going to be around for as long as possible for you and her family.

Be very careful when heading down this path.
Old 05-07-2012, 03:45 AM
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Great advice. No one likes to hear she is fat, but we do take subtle hints and pick up what is going on around us. Exercise with her, and do active things together. My husband and i play ball, boat, and fish together. Its fun, we can discuss family matters etc.
Old 05-07-2012, 04:07 AM
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Originally Posted by Vic34 View Post
Great advice. No one likes to hear she is fat, but we do take subtle hints and pick up what is going on around us. Exercise with her, and do active things together. My husband and i play ball, boat, and fish together. Its fun, we can discuss family matters etc.
Www.meetmarla.com. It's a great video about a woman who used a proven program which also happens to be endorsed by Chris Powell from Extreme Makeover, weight loss edition.
Old 05-07-2012, 04:12 AM
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you are going to get a hundred different responses about this.

you can't make somebody do anything they don't want to do. you can however point them in the
right direction. just becareful not to push them away.
it is a lifestyle change!!

now to your question.
start out by lowering your caloric intake. smaller meals, cut out sugars, whole fat dairy, and white flour.

REMEMBER. you need to burn more calories then you take in.
start out slow. worste thing people do is sign up for a gym then try to run 5 miles or to an expert spin class. then they gey discouraged because of the intensity of the workout.

I'm not a keyboard cowboy. my wife and i workout atleast 4 times a week.

don't worry about weights in the beginning just concentrate on cardio. after the weight is off then get into weights.
Old 05-07-2012, 04:25 AM
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Take her to Hooters a couple of times and the reason I say that is a buddy of mine showed interest in Hooters eating there a good bit and she went with him for lunch one day then his wife started getting very big on loosing weight and being more sex driven, lol. I guess he had to brag about it.

Last edited by Gator56; 05-07-2012 at 04:53 AM.
Old 05-07-2012, 04:26 AM
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Get the book "Eat to Live" by Doctor Joel Furhman. No need to starve your self, just need to eat the right foods. I went from 235 lbs to 175 lbs, my body is cut, I barely exercise, and I eat until I'm full. And I'm 62 years old, and feel great...
Good Luck

Joe D
Old 05-07-2012, 04:31 AM
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You have to decide which is more important to you- being married to a slim wife or being married to your current wife. ;?

- If a slim wife, what are you waiting for? Slim women are out there looking for husbands. A few of them are actually nice people. There might be one or two as nice as the wife you have now. Good luck sorting that out.

- If your current wife, the best thing you can do is be a good example. Eat sensibly, talk with her about changing the meal menus to support your own weight loss goals, exercise more, invite your wife to go for walks for you. When you lose a pants size, ask her to help you shop for new clothes. It won't change her own weight overnight, but I've seen it work in the longer-term.
Old 05-07-2012, 04:31 AM
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Originally Posted by RussH View Post

I've emailed her information on the lap band procedure, we have discussed gastric bypass, etc but she hasn't done anything. I know she hates it because of the extra weight but I don't understand why she won't do anything. The weight hasn't slowed her down, she works 55 hours a week, comes home and makes dinner, clothes washed every day, and our house is spotless.


Russ
Sounds like your wife is completely run-down and needs a complete lifestyle change. Women tend to find emotional comfort-zones in food.

Re-arrange your lifestyle (downsize) and begin to take over the chores. Allow your wife the mental space (breathing room) so she can start to feel good about herself.

Losing a big amount of weight is mental game, not a medical procedure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Old 05-07-2012, 04:50 AM
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Originally Posted by blueflyer View Post
Sounds like your wife is completely run-down and needs a complete lifestyle change. Women tend to find emotional comfort-zones in food.

Re-arrange your lifestyle (downsize) and begin to take over the chores. Allow your wife the mental space (breathing room) so she can start to feel good about herself.

Losing a big amount of weight is mental game, not a medical procedure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is most likely what is up. There also can be other health things which can contribute, but this may be it. Losing weight is a head game as much as anything. She sounds Ike she is just worn down. How is her mood, sex life? For both women and men, weight gain is usually an indicator of something else.

My wife has depression and anxiety issues. I can tell were she is emotionally by her waistband. For her it is 40lbs swings (not healthy). I have spent more time with her and therapists than I would ever like to admit.
Old 05-07-2012, 04:58 AM
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My wife is overweight, but this is do to a bunch of medical issues and surgery not related to her weight gain.

I quit smoking in January and changed my eating habits and lost 25+ pounds, my wife got tired of people telling me how good I looked and she wanted in and started to change the way she eats..she's down 15 lbs and double that to go....

This is how I got her started.


However she did give me the skinniest years of her life prior to us getting married
Old 05-07-2012, 05:12 AM
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Marriage counseling

Its easier to have someone else tell her she is off track. You do it and you are looking at WWIII.

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