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A Southerner Moves Up North...

Old 12-23-2004, 09:14 AM
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Default A Southerner Moves Up North...

December 8,
5:00 PM. It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first one we've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window, watching the soft white flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful !!!

December 9,
We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantel. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and I loved it. I did both our driveway and our sidewalk. Later a city snowplow came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with commpacted snow from the streetr. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled it again.

December 10,
It snowed an additional 6 inches last night and the temperature has dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the little shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway aagain. Shortly afterwards the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now brownish-gray.

December 11,
Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the terperature dropped again. Bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my butt in the driveway, $145.00 to a chiropactor, bu nothing was broken. More ice and snow expected.

December 12.
Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought a 4 x 4 in order to get her to work. Slid into a guardrail anyway and did a considerable amout of damage to the right rear quarterpanel. Had another 5 inches of the white crap last night. Both vehicles covered in salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. That darn snowplow came by twice today.

December 13,
3 degrees outside. More f...ing snow. Not a tree or shrub on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and kerosene heater, which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the flames out, but suffered second degree burns on my hands and lost all my eyelashers and eyebrows. Carl slid on ice on way to emergency room and was totaled.

December 14,
Darn muther-f...ing white crap keeps on coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the f...ing mailbox. If I could catch the son of a bitch that drives the snowplow I'd chew off his ass and rip out his heart. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street about 100 MPH and buries our driveway again. Power still off. Toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in.

December 15,
6 darn more f...ing inches of f...ing snow and f...ing sleet and f...ing crap fell last night. I wounded the f...ing snowplow a..hole with an ice axe but he got away. Wife left me. Car won't start. I think I'm going snowblind. I can't move my toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. More snow predicted. Wind chill factor -22 degrees. I'm moving back to North Carolina.

"Save your Confederate money, the South's gonna do it again"

dedicated to "Shag" (hope you enjoy the Akron rubber plant tour)
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Old 12-23-2004, 09:31 AM
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Default RE: A Southerner Moves Up North...

That is freaking funny

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Old 12-23-2004, 10:34 AM
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Default RE: A Southerner Moves Up North...

great stuff, oh how the beautiful white blanket becomes a miserable grey PITA in short order.

that's exactly why i moved to s.fla 35 years ago and never looked back!!! it snowed the day i left for fla for good!!

evernic
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north miami beach fl.

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