Bin Laden Made it to Heaven

Old 05-03-2011, 05:21 PM
Senior MemberCaptains Club MemberPLEDGER
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: West Carolina
Posts: 22,022
Received 1,596 Likes on 864 Posts
Default Bin Laden Made it to Heaven

Usama Bin Laden was met at the Pearly Gates by George Washington who slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"

Patrick Henry approached, punched him straight in the face and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed!"

James Madison followed with a back-hand, kicked him in the nuts and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"

Thomas Jefferson was next, and he proceeded to beat Bin-Laden with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil shit like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence, dammit!"

The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe, John Hancock and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist head honcho.

As Bin Laden lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Bin Laden wept and said, "This is not what you promised me, Allah! I was promised bliss in Heaven with 72 virgins!"

The Angel replied, "When I told you guys about 'Allah', I said specifically that there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"

Last edited by Shag; 05-03-2011 at 06:39 PM.
Old 05-03-2011, 05:27 PM
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Southern , Ontario
Posts: 247
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts

Old 05-03-2011, 05:50 PM
Senior MemberCaptains Club Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Long Island Sound, CT
Posts: 24,459
Likes: 0
Received 135 Likes on 56 Posts

i like it
Old 05-03-2011, 06:28 PM
Senior MemberCaptains Club Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Wildcat Knoll
Posts: 9,293
Received 855 Likes on 563 Posts

Im just glad the last thing he saw was a big American boy pointing a red light at his head saying'' Smokem if you got em''
Old 05-04-2011, 04:22 AM
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 330
Likes: 0
Received 15 Likes on 10 Posts

I hope all of his promised virgins are of the horny gay male type .
Old 05-04-2011, 04:51 AM
Senior MemberCaptains Club MemberPLEDGER
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Poquoson, VA
Posts: 4,236
Likes: 0
Received 54 Likes on 21 Posts

too funny, and so true
Old 05-04-2011, 05:10 AM
Senior MemberCaptains Club Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: St. Augustine, Fl
Posts: 22,384
Received 4,476 Likes on 1,803 Posts

Hopefully they sewed a nice ham steak to his corpse before the pushed him over the side of the ship..
Old 05-04-2011, 06:00 AM
Senior MemberCaptains Club Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Saugus, Ma. USA
Posts: 12,751
Received 1,905 Likes on 1,064 Posts

I think they should have taken rolls of bacon and shoved them into every possible orifice, snapped a few pictures, and followed it up with pictures of him sodomizing a pig post mortem.

Save the pictures until you need someone at Guantanamo to talk. Those willing to die for their cause may not be so willing to be surrounded with pork for all eternity.
Old 05-04-2011, 06:02 AM
Admirals Club Admiral's Club Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: New Smyrna Beach
Posts: 2,606
Received 156 Likes on 93 Posts

It pisses me off to no end that we cowtow to these muslims. Bin ladin was a dirtbag, THEIR dirtbag. All these enemy sympathizers. Passive enablers. The Republicans are telling everybody that Trump's idea to take over the Iraqi oil fields is a goofball idea. Tell that to the mothers and fathers that lost their kid over in that hell hole. I had to get it out, it just angers me so much. And this jackass Steeler and his Tweets. It embarrasses me to say I'm live in Pittsburgh. Can't wait to move outta here.

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.