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E mail/forum ettiquette

Old 05-02-2011, 12:50 PM
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I am in the Balkans right now on business, and at a meeting the other day an Army Col. made some comments regarding being careful about sending E mails and making online postings, saying that before you hit the send button, to take a few minutes to think about how it will be perceived by the recipients, and how it will affect others.

He said "before you send an E mail or make a post that has teeth in it, take a minute to think about it first."

This hit me kind of hard because in the heat of the moment it is very easy to be impulsive and do things that you may regret later. For example, a while back on this forum, I had a misunderstanding with another member, and without really knowing him or considering any other circumstances but my own opinions, I was rather rude to him. After a day or two of actually realizing what a jerk I was for doing that, I felt terrible and privately apologized to him. What makes it even worse is as I have read more and more of his posts, I have learned more about the guy, and turns out he is a really awesome person, and dealing with alot in his life. So my rudeness was uncalled for to begin with, but then further worsened by my lack of consideration, even if we differed.

Case and point is, before sending anything with teeth in it, take a second to consider how it will be perceived by the recipient, and how it will affect others. Taking 10 seconds to calm down and consider the bigger picture can prevent major regrets......

You never know who you are talking to.
Old 05-02-2011, 01:15 PM
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Well said - and this IS THE problem with non face to face communications. We all say things we would never say face to face. In my old office the policy was if you saw anything negative in a coworkers email to you you had to talk face to face. This stopped the email wars and made for a much more civil work atmosphere.

Here snarkiness is basically regarded as cool. And there is a fine line between clever and cruel.

Keep 'em floating you have enough to worry about with out this forum.
Old 05-02-2011, 01:26 PM
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Wont be long before we'll have mandated software that, like spell check, highlights possibly offensive comments and prompts you before sending......


Are you sure you want to do this?
Old 05-02-2011, 01:30 PM
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Originally Posted by GhostShip View Post
Wont be long before we'll have mandated software that, like spell check, highlights possibly offensive comments and prompts you before sending......


Are you sure you want to do this?
Facebook already has this.
Old 05-02-2011, 03:05 PM
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The beauty of today's communications is that it is so fast. If not careful, you can offend or confuse your addressee(s). I have a personal policy of waiting overnight to send any correspondence that could in any way be perceived as offensive or anything that is really important. The next day I review the writing and insure I have the desired effect. This really helped when I was in the corporate world. Here on THT, some people are spring loaded to the attack position and ready to blast anything.
Old 05-02-2011, 04:21 PM
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Yes you are right on the money, I have been guilty of this also, good post, It makes you think a bit.
Old 05-02-2011, 06:59 PM
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It's called internet drama. I've read some real zingers on some other forums!
Old 05-02-2011, 07:16 PM
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Some are so intent on making others see THEIR point of view and getting others to accept THEIR beliefs they can't type fast enough.

Sometimes the entire thread is not read prior to responding and they fail to understand where others may be coming from.

There are members here that will argue in a New York second or wait to point out where someone may be incorrect......in their eyes.

Glad you worked out your differences and came to an understanding.
.
Old 05-02-2011, 08:17 PM
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great post kris, mods should make this sticky on top of the forum
Old 05-04-2011, 11:15 AM
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It takes a pair to admit that you made a mistake. Kudos to you.

If you think internet forums are bad, what about the inability for most people under 25 to have a conversation that didn't involve texting? I think as they grow up, this will affect more important communications, such as conversations with your boss. It's much easier to send a text to tell someone they are fired. The lack of face to face isn't going to improve communications.
Old 05-04-2011, 12:53 PM
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Just as important as what you say, is how you interpret what you read. If something really annoys you then read it a second time. I've seen responses that barely touched on the post they were responding too because the responder was so caught up in their own opinion they didn't see the other writer was more in agreement than not!
Old 05-04-2011, 12:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Kamper View Post
Just as important as what you say, is how you interpret what you read. If something really annoys you then read it a second time. I've seen responses that barely touched on the post they were responding too because the responder was so caught up in their own opinion they didn't see the other writer was more in agreement than not!
Very true.
Old 05-05-2011, 07:57 AM
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The world would be a better place if we did not have to worry so much about people's feeling getting hurt.
Old 05-05-2011, 08:19 AM
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Originally Posted by SeaJay View Post
The world would be a better place if we did not have to worry so much about people's feeling getting hurt.

Spoken like a true shark that has been in a few of those shark eating frenzies this site used to have around here all the time.

Me personally, I try not and say anything that I can not defend with a strong element of success, today or tomorrow....but I have been known to eat crow.

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