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im about to go crazy

Old 05-01-2011, 10:01 PM
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Hi everyone well this is my problem my younger sister is 21 yrs old and has a 1 yr old daughter im 28 and have two daughters myself. Here is the story my sisters boyfriend constantly beats the living hell out of her and she keeps going back to him everyone in the fam tries to keep her away from him she says she wants her baby to have a relationship with her dad. Well he beat the hell out of her a couple months ago and got him arrested, the trial is this week. Since the protective order she filled against him she got back with him and the other day he realy beat her ass cuts around her throat arms black eyes was hanging her off a balcony and was threatening to throw her off. Yeah I know its a mess well she didn't call the cops this time cause I think she isn't supposed to be around him per the protection order. Do you think this piece of white trash will go to jail I sure hope so he has a few charges assault battery threats. The state picked up the charge and she has to testify against him. So what to do if he gets off I have two children a soon to be wife and a good career im a tugboater. If I didn't have kids I this wouldn't happen twice I would be in mexico drinking beer on the beach if you know what I mean. So all you cops lawyers and judges here tell me if you think this scumbag will go to prison or county for a couple months. Thanks for your time
Old 05-01-2011, 10:23 PM
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Call the police on him, and child protective services on her.
Old 05-01-2011, 10:32 PM
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Take him fishing or for a LONG run on the tug. I agree with the mexico thing but also understand you have others that depend on you. Hopefully he will get his someday. Good luck.
Old 05-02-2011, 03:10 AM
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She'll wait around for him or find another beater...you can't save people from themselves. I like the gent's idea above of calling CPS on her.
Old 05-02-2011, 03:31 AM
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Originally Posted by cowdogs View Post
Call the police on him, and child protective services on her.
Ditto. She is making the choice. The child is not. The 1 year old needs to be in a safe loving environment. You have kids, will she let you take care of her daughter until this is resolved?
Old 05-02-2011, 03:49 AM
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My brother and I would only allow that to happen 1 time to one of our sisters. Maybe it's a southern thing but when family messes with family it is taken care of internally. What if the next time he beats her so bad she dies? Years ago I had an uncle that was 1 year older than me, we were like brothers. He got into drugs and started stealing from his mom (my grandmom). His brothers and sisters told him to knock that s#!t off. Well of course he didn't because he was on drugs. One day he went to my grandmom's and took stuff (to pawn) while she was home. She tried to stop him and he pushed her down on the couch and left with a TV. His older brother (my uncle) and I paid him a visit. I ended up having to pull my older uncle off of him. He beat the living (barely) s#!t out of his brother. We drug him to the car and dropped him off at the emergency room. He never contacted the police and never stole from family again. If you take care of business and then the police gets called on you, then you have not gotten the message across to the deadbeat. My wife had an uncle(by marriage) (also southern family) that walked with a limp. Story was he used to beat his wife and her brothers beat him and broke his leg and didn't take him to the hospital. This was in the 50's or 60's.

The key is to generate enough fear

I'm just say'n
Old 05-02-2011, 03:57 AM
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Justtug,

In Florida, if your sister has a restraining order against him, she CANNOT violate it. Meaning that if she is around Mr. Wonderful she or you can call the police at anytime and have him arrested WITHOUT your sister violating any order. It is only against the law for HIM to violate it, she can invite him over and not be arrested for violating it.

Personally, I would definitely step in and do something. After almost 20 years of responding to domestic violence situations as a cop, sounds like he is the kind of abuser that could actually KILL your sister if its as bad as you describe... If you need any advice let me know..
Old 05-02-2011, 04:11 AM
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No one would touch my sister more than once ! As for the worthless police help dont waste all that time and money ! Do not allow this pinhead to continue to tourcher your sister , things like this can go bad quickly . stop him now !
Old 05-02-2011, 04:20 AM
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Originally Posted by t4000 View Post
No one would touch my sister more than once ! As for the worthless police help dont waste all that time and money ! Do not allow this pinhead to continue to tourcher your sister , things like this can go bad quickly . stop him now !
Actually Domestic Vilence laws are some of the harshest and most punitive of any laws. While I understand wanting retributionon on Mr. Pinhead, all that does is get you in the cell next door and once Mr. Pinhead has been arrested any further abuses means elevated penalties and as far as a waste of money???? I realize everyone is tough as hell behind a computer keyboard but this OP may not be the kind prone to violence..
Old 05-02-2011, 04:26 AM
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Call the police and CPS, be prepared to take your niece in.

Your sister has an illness and professional needs help. Even if you could make the boyfriend "disappear", she'd probably find another like him. You need to pick up the phone today if you care about your sister and/or niece.
Old 05-02-2011, 04:51 AM
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Originally Posted by davedowneast View Post
Call the police and CPS, be prepared to take your niece in.

Your sister has an illness and professional needs help. Even if you could make the boyfriend "disappear", she'd probably find another like him. You need to pick up the phone today if you care about your sister and/or niece.
Good advice.
Old 05-02-2011, 04:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Cracker View Post
Justtug,

In Florida, if your sister has a restraining order against him, she CANNOT violate it. Meaning that if she is around Mr. Wonderful she or you can call the police at anytime and have him arrested WITHOUT your sister violating any order. It is only against the law for HIM to violate it, she can invite him over and not be arrested for violating it.

Personally, I would definitely step in and do something. After almost 20 years of responding to domestic violence situations as a cop, sounds like he is the kind of abuser that could actually KILL your sister if its as bad as you describe... If you need any advice let me know..
Listen to what Cracker is saying and make the calls today. Do not wait another day. Be prepared to take your niece in as mentioned above.
Old 05-02-2011, 05:17 AM
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Originally Posted by baypro21 View Post
Maybe it's a southern thing but when family messes with family it is taken care of internally.
I'm just say'n
The problem up north is that the LEOs do not follow this tradition. It is difficult (not inpossible) to do that up North without some jail time being the result.
Old 05-02-2011, 05:21 AM
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Originally Posted by jrolin1 View Post
Good advice.
X2
Worst thing you can do is try and take care of this yourself. Your already mad enough and this guy will come after you like a bull if you step foot on his property. He's out of control or on drugs... Honorable is good but it ain't worth a thing if your dead.
Even protecting yourself, you go to him and you are in his house and its premeditated or planned not if, but when it gets out of hand. All that judge has to do is know his order was violated by her and that child is back in that home, in danger and they will be over there with more units than you could wish for. Courts don't play when its children and the second time ... They tried (the courts) to set it up peaceful the first time. Now they will take control. Sad but that goes on a lot when people are without answers.
Would be nice to wish we could make some people vanish but thats only in the movies. Not worth the rest of your life when they can handle it now if you Will give them all the info you just gave us. No doubt in my mind they will have units rolling before you leave the station...

Last edited by liveaboard74; 05-02-2011 at 05:55 AM.
Old 05-02-2011, 05:45 AM
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Thanks for the advice guys Thursday he goes to court for assault and battery charge,she has to testify against him. Last friday she went to the states attorney to she if she could just make a statement they said NO you are getting on the stand. Also the states attorney saw the resent cuts bruises on her and he told her they are taking this charges serious. Trust me I would do anything to get the chance to strap a couple crank shafts to this punk and let the crabs work on him. But I don't want to be in prison and this guy has threatened to get me locked up after I left a empty 3.5 in 00 buck on this windsheild last summer. So do you guys think will get some time my sister is staying with our older sis and promise she is done with him and wants to drive the last nail in his coffin when she has to testify Thursday. I hope he goes to prison not county jail. What do you all lawyers cops and judges think he will get.
Old 05-02-2011, 05:50 AM
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Cracker my family is been a long time friend to the county sheriff im going to go see him this morn and she about this protective order. I hope its the same in md as in fl. Thanks guys for the advise I know the guy has a drinking problem the thing is my sister is to young to realize he isn't going to change well I hope a big black ape changes the way he walks.
Old 05-02-2011, 06:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Justtuggin View Post
Cracker my family is been a long time friend to the county sheriff im going to go see him this morn and she about this protective order. I hope its the same in md as in fl. Thanks guys for the advise I know the guy has a drinking problem the thing is my sister is to young to realize he isn't going to change well I hope a big black ape changes the way he walks.
good luck. i hope you can take care of your neice for a while and piece of shit gets a nice long sentence. good thing you kept your cool and didnt go after him, that would hurt your family. one thing is for sure, you cant let your sisters poor decisions hurt your family.
Old 05-02-2011, 06:36 AM
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If this was my sister me and a few close friends would have made a little vist to his house.
Old 05-02-2011, 07:00 AM
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The most important person is the CHILD, if your sister does'nt recognize the danger then you must and have CPS get involved! The child has no decicision in this situation. Make the phone call.
Old 05-02-2011, 07:28 PM
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Tough situation.

My ex had "family emotional" issues (I'm trying to be kind here) that I didn't know about until after we were married. We went through all the counseling thing for years but she could never get over it. Even the counselors told me I could only play the role of the savior up to a certain point.

Wishing the best for you and your sister.

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