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Boss invited me to church.....

Old 04-27-2011, 12:12 PM
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Default Boss invited me to church.....

I'm not real sure what to think about this but here it goes.

I have been working at a company for almost a year and have developed a not-so-regular outside of work relationship with my boss. I used to be a flight instructor so he takes me flying in his plane every couple months. My flight experience makes me a great instrument safety pilot for practicing approaches. Anyway, he invited me to lunch today, which seemed a little strange because I've never seen him go to lunch with anyone in the department who he manages. (department of about 25 people). Anyway, I went to lunch with him because I wasn't going to say no. Pretty soon after we order he starts asking me about my faith. My initial thought was "there's no way this is what he asked me to lunch for" but sure enough it was.

Without getting into the details he asked me a bunch of pretty deep questions and explained a little bit about what he does and how active he is in his church. Again trying not to get into details..... I told him that I used to go to church then stopped going in college; and haven't started going again yet, but have not lost any faith. He then invited me to service at his church any time.

I said "Thank you for the offer, I will keep it in mind"

This was pretty uncomfortable for me and I really don't know what to make of it. I really don't want to go to his church. If I'm going to start going again then I'm going back to the church that I've always gone to.

I don't really know what I'm asking here. I guess I'd just like to see what others think about this.....
Old 04-27-2011, 12:18 PM
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He believes that if a man isn't born again (or some variation of this) he'll go to hell. As such he's reaching out because he doesn't want to see that happen to you. It is uncomfortable but you should take it as a nice thing.
Old 04-27-2011, 12:21 PM
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Whenever someone starts to ask about my faith or relationship with God, I know exactly where it's going. They are going to ask you to come to their church. For me, my faith is an extremely personal and private thing. I am not a member of any particular church, and look upon the vast majority as commercial, profit-making ventures. I know too many people who are at the church every time the doors open who would screw you over in a heartbeat, lie, and cheat on their spouses. Many churches require their congregation to actively solicit new members...undoubtedly your boss has been recruited in the most recent drive.
I would tell him that you are flattered and graciously decline his offer.
Old 04-27-2011, 12:22 PM
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You handled it better than I would have. (I have a pretty good guess as to what religion he believes in) Keep your distance when he brings it up again. Let him know that you respect his faith and you hope he will respect your decision to not participate. Hopefully he gets it and lets it go.

Has he ever approached anyone else that you work with?
Old 04-27-2011, 12:26 PM
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Why don´t you invite your boss to go out with some hookers?
Old 04-27-2011, 12:28 PM
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Tell him that you'd love to go..........

Then ask him if you should bring anything............like a sacrificial chicken or pig.

That should end the discussion and prevent future offers.

OR

He may answer with "Nope, we supply all the chickens."

In which case you'll have one he!! of a story!
Old 04-27-2011, 12:32 PM
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Actually, you handled it VERY well. I would continue to speak with him, and even discuss faith from time to time. Sort of make it so YOU control the speed of the relationship and speed by which it approaches (and recedes from) faith based conversation.

In other words, work it along for as long as you have to and do what you have to do to stay in his good graces. Clearly he has a liking to you, and I would work it politely and honesty... and who knows, you might really feel comfortable with what he believes.

My experience is that there are two types of people that are "faith based" -- there are the bullshiters (The ones where every second they talk about how "Blessed" they are... and in the meantime they'll screw you over at the drop of a hat) and then there are the genuine people that believe in the basics of life (reap what you sow, etc.). I've met few, if any of the later... and LOTS AND LOTS of the first.

Pete
Old 04-27-2011, 12:33 PM
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Hope it's not but if your experience is anything like mine, if/when you politely decline your relationship with him will cool quickly. Which is a shame...
Old 04-27-2011, 12:35 PM
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Regrdless of his faith--you did not say-- the man is showing that he cares about you beyond the employee relationship.

Take it as a compliment. If he cares about you there will be no recriminations.

Most people that critique what churches do and don't do have little experience in the matter. They just repeat what the news said or from neighborhood gossip.

You did--at least it seemed to me--to be asking how you should take it. Nothing wrong with it. It was at lunch and you did not have to go to lunch or church.

Who paid for the lunch? Maybe that will tell you more about his intentions. Let us know.
Old 04-27-2011, 12:36 PM
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Dude, you are screwed. First off, do NOT go to church with him, even to be nice just once. From there it escalates to Wednesay evening bible study, Saturday evening dinner with the pastor, Sunday afternoon chuch functions. Once you get in, then you pretty much HAVE to keep going to stay in the good graces of your boss. Religious zealots think non-believers are destined to hell and your friendly relationship will quickly dissolve.

I think the suggestion of politely declining would be the best approach. Of course, you may have had your last airplane ride once you say no.
Old 04-27-2011, 12:37 PM
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I'm in the same boat (stopped going in college). Take it as a compliment that he cares, then hope it does not get brought up again.
Old 04-27-2011, 12:37 PM
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It could be that he respects you. Period end of story.
He likely understands all too well you will not go.

Just keep the dialouge open and do not make a mountain out of a molehill.
I invite like minded men to my church all the time, some come, some don't.

Does not make me any different to them at all.

If he is the real deal you will have no issue.
Old 04-27-2011, 12:43 PM
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Originally Posted by jacksdad View Post
He believes that if a man isn't born again (or some variation of this) he'll go to hell. As such he's reaching out because he doesn't want to see that happen to you. It is uncomfortable but you should take it as a nice thing.
No offense to Walokrab but I believe the above quote. You are the only one that has spent enough time with him to know if he is genuine or not. You stated that you intend to return to church. Maybe God put it in this man's heart to bring this up just to get you to return. Regardless of which church you attend. Just a thought.
Old 04-27-2011, 12:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Wolakrab View Post
Whenever someone starts to ask about my faith or relationship with God, I know exactly where it's going.


I have a few cousins like that. Cousins I grew up with and I enjoy being around.

They were all "born again" and tried their recruitment.

I told them straight from the beginning I didn't want to hear about their church or religion because I know they don't want to hear about mine. They never mentioned it again.

or get one of these for your truck

Old 04-27-2011, 12:48 PM
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You handled it as well as anyone could, but that may not be the end of it. I would politely decline any further invitations to church, but to get the point across you may have to decline the flying trips as well. That or a few Cuban eights will probably stop the church invitations.
Old 04-27-2011, 12:51 PM
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Its funny to read between the lines of some of these responses. Anyone who uses the phrase "Take it as a compliment" would obviously solicit you to come to their church in a heartbeat. Oh, and church isn't satisfied with you just showing up. When they pass that offering plate around you realize that you're paying for faith. And coins don't do anymore like the old days.
Old 04-27-2011, 12:52 PM
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Originally Posted by lasik1 View Post
Cuban eights
Cuban eights? ;?
Old 04-27-2011, 12:59 PM
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Last time I went to church I had a very bad experience and never went back .







I got married there.
Old 04-27-2011, 12:59 PM
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Just tell him Clarence was your great Grandfather. That should take care of it.
Old 04-27-2011, 01:01 PM
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Tell him you're Catholic and he'll leave you alone for good.

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