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Going along with my Psychological thread...

Old 12-20-2010, 06:55 AM
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Default Going along with my Psychological thread...

Ya know -- it never ceases to amaze me. I'm almost 40 years old, married, kids, the whole deal... very few complaints in life -- and those things I do complain about are about as trivial as they get.

But I learned something MAJOR in the past 24 hours...

Anger is a result of fear.


I was researching the question in my other thread (the people who refuse to use people's names) and I came across the most basic of psychological theories. That anger is a result of fear. At first I thought it was all babble-bullshit. Then I applied it to every time I've been angry that I could remember. Guess what. It is 100% correct!

Think about it. Yell at your kid for touch the knife on the counter. You're not angry at the kid, you're fearful he's going to hurt himself.

Yell at the idiot that is driving like a retard, you're not angry at him, you're fearful that he's going to cause you to get in an accident.

Yell at your wife because she forgot to turn something off the stove, your fearful of a fire.

I have not come up with a single instance where it didn't apply. Each and every time it held water! I even tried it the other way around... when people were angry with me... and guess what? I could see what they would be fearful of.

Shit man. I wish I knew all this shit a long time ago!

Ok. Go ahead, make fun of me now.
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Old 12-20-2010, 07:11 AM
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disagree.....there are plenty of instances where anger has nothing to do with fear. car in front of you is doing 20 in a 40 no passing zone for a few miles. you are angry but what are you afraid of? the list is endless. the real question is what is the motivation when you are angry with YOURSELF.
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Old 12-20-2010, 07:16 AM
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Originally Posted by randall View Post
disagree.....there are plenty of instances where anger has nothing to do with fear. car in front of you is doing 20 in a 40 no passing zone for a few miles. you are angry but what are you afraid of? the list is endless. the real question is what is the motivation when you are angry with YOURSELF.
Maybe you secretly fear you are going to be late to an appointment... or you fear that society as a whole is getting old and old people drive slow and you don't want to be old or drive slow.....

ANYTHING can be constrewed.....

I am angry that there are so many freeloading people on welfare. Maybe I am subconsiously afraid that society is screwed and there is no bright future for my kids with a growing population of leaches and worthless people....

hmmmmmmmm

I need an valium.
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Old 12-20-2010, 08:21 AM
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Originally Posted by thermasystems View Post
Maybe you secretly fear you are going to be late to an appointment... or you fear that society as a whole is getting old and old people drive slow and you don't want to be old or drive slow.....

ANYTHING can be constrewed.....

I am angry that there are so many freeloading people on welfare. Maybe I am subconsiously afraid that society is screwed and there is no bright future for my kids with a growing population of leaches and worthless people....

hmmmmmmmm

I need an valium.
Exactly... as funny as you put it.
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Old 12-20-2010, 01:00 PM
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sorry...not buying it. but i can get you a valium.
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Old 12-20-2010, 01:07 PM
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Someone grabs my wifes ass in a bar....IM ANGRY....not because im scared she'll like him but because he was disrespectful to my wife. My son says "NO" to me IM PISSED...not because im scared but because it disrespectful. I think maybe alot or the majority of times your angry can be out of fear. but im goin through my head of all the times ive been pissed or got into brawls and a lot of the time fear didnt have a big role in it.
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Old 12-20-2010, 01:36 PM
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Originally Posted by wannabefishin View Post
Someone grabs my wifes ass in a bar....IM ANGRY....not because im scared she'll like him but because he was disrespectful to my wife. My son says "NO" to me IM PISSED...not because im scared but because it disrespectful. I think maybe alot or the majority of times your angry can be out of fear. but im goin through my head of all the times ive been pissed or got into brawls and a lot of the time fear didnt have a big role in it.
I think you should look deeper. "I was disrespected" -- Ok. And...? Well, if you feel people don't respect you then you're fearful that you don't command respect. That you're perhaps not worthy of respect. Or at least in the eye of the person that did as you said to you wife or something like that. Maybe you fear that your wife may find that person more attractive -- security issues... I'm NOT saying it about you, I'm simply saying how easy it is to look at it as a normal reaction to a fear.

If somebody pinched my wife's ass I'd punch them in the throat. And while I'd love to think it's because of some bravado or some other bs reason... but in reality we're mammals and you're not going to screw with my mate.
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Old 12-20-2010, 01:40 PM
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Originally Posted by randall View Post
disagree.....there are plenty of instances where anger has nothing to do with fear. car in front of you is doing 20 in a 40 no passing zone for a few miles. you are angry but what are you afraid of? the list is endless. the real question is what is the motivation when you are angry with YOURSELF.
Gotta agree with Randall on this one, especially in a bad driver scenario. I get angry at idiots who get in my way or just do stupid things. It has nothing to do with fear. So is it your contention that road rage is based on fear?
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Old 12-20-2010, 01:41 PM
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Old Pete is right on this one.

You have to consider the true root of why you feel, not how you feel.


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Old 12-20-2010, 01:49 PM
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Originally Posted by wannabefishin View Post
Someone grabs my wifes ass in a bar....IM ANGRY....not because im scared she'll like him but because he was disrespectful to my wife. My son says "NO" to me IM PISSED...not because im scared but because it disrespectful. I think maybe alot or the majority of times your angry can be out of fear. but im goin through my head of all the times ive been pissed or got into brawls and a lot of the time fear didnt have a big role in it.
ooooh oooh!!!

MAYBE, when someone grabs your wife's ass you get angry because you are afraid she liked it and will leave you for the next guy with bigger....hands.... We are animals after alll....

AND!!

MAYBE when your son says NO to you and you get pissed you are really afraid you have lost your control over him.....

The point is, ANYTHING can be constrewed or mis-constrewed if you think hard enough.

I am with you. The only things I am of are my wife and god..... soooooooo, most situations can be twisted somehow to include them in the scenario and show fear of something to do with either...

Just joking about your wife's ass.... it was a thought provoking statement.
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Old 12-20-2010, 03:03 PM
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All actions require the use of your brain, some more than others. One or more emotions will be factored in to any decision or reaction. Fear is probably one of the more common influences in why you do things. I don't always think it is the reasoning behind becoming angry. When you were a child and you got mad because you weren't allowed to do something it wasn't because you were afraid. If you angrily confront somebody that is acting inapropriately then you clearly are not afraid of that person nor that persons reaction to being confronted. You can become angry with somebody that has done you wrong or dissapointed you. I don't think that fear is the main factor there. It can be the main factor in some situation but I don't beleive that you can say that fear = anger. If it did there would be no need to list them as 2 separate emotions.
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Old 12-20-2010, 03:26 PM
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a lot of semantics and fear is a VERY broad term. i have been terrified without an iota of anger. i have been in a rage without an ounce of fear. and many combinations of the two. its not black and white. however you can use psycho-babble to explain any action. or reaction.
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Old 12-20-2010, 03:38 PM
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I am with Randall and Freebird on this one with a couple extra points.

First, for not having very many complaints in life you sure do use this board to express the ones you do have.

Second, can't hardly believe you haven't hit 40 yet. I pictured you to be in your late 60's or early 70's.
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Old 12-21-2010, 06:53 AM
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Originally Posted by randall View Post
a lot of semantics and fear is a VERY broad term. i have been terrified without an iota of anger. i have been in a rage without an ounce of fear. and many combinations of the two. its not black and white. however you can use psycho-babble to explain any action. or reaction.
I'm AFRAID yer incorrect. And that makes me angry.


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Old 12-21-2010, 07:13 AM
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I guess it all comes down to how much you want to understand the origin of your anger. To each their own.
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Old 12-21-2010, 07:55 AM
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ok...there is more than one kind of fear. looking down the barrel of a gun pointed at you or paddling out into 20 foot waves is one kind. pitching a ball game in front of a few thousand people is another. worrying about your child is yet another. you can try and factor in anger to those scenarios with varying degrees of success. my brother is a shrink....i'll run it by him and see what he says....just curious.

AL.... settle down. i still have some valium left.
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Old 12-21-2010, 12:11 PM
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I'm not buying it. I can see it going one of two ways. I can either somehow link EVERY event to fear of some sort (regardless of anger or other emotion) or be of the mindset that some angry times have nothing to do with fear.
Things where I don't see the fear:
1) After hitting my thumb with a hammer, I swore. Too late to be afraid of the hammer after the fact.
2) I asked my wife to put the dinner in the oven and she forgot. I was angry, but not afraid.
3) Six year old spilled paint all on the sofa and I had to clean it up.
4) I left for work and forgot my phone - does this mean that I'm scared of my phone?
5) I got stuck behind a clueless old person in a crowded supermarket - what can I possibly fear now?

The other side of the coin is that everything is based in fear.
1) I'm happy that my daughter did well on a test - is this because I feared she'd fail?
2) I'm sad that my dad passed away - is this because I fear death?
3) I'm angry that one of the other managers doesn't understand a certain process - do I secretly fear him?
4) I'm tired, so I must have been fearful of my dreams last night.
If some guy grabs my wife's ass in a bar, I'd chuckle, knowing full well that his testicles have a very limited life span at that point.

I think the whole "anger is based on fear" is a way of trying to diffuse anger, like telling a guy that only men with small peepees get angry.
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Old 12-21-2010, 12:13 PM
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I'll let someone else take it. Those are too easy.
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Old 12-21-2010, 12:28 PM
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The winter is turning boring up there.
But I am just starting my summer.
Happy with that.
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Old 12-21-2010, 01:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Freeebird View Post
Gotta agree with Randall on this one, especially in a bad driver scenario. I get angry at idiots who get in my way or just do stupid things. It has nothing to do with fear. So is it your contention that road rage is based on fear?
Chirp.
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