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****Single Dad Laughing: You Just Broke Your Child***

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****Single Dad Laughing: You Just Broke Your Child***

Old 10-28-2010, 10:21 AM
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Default ****Single Dad Laughing: You Just Broke Your Child***

The link to this article was in one our Rabbi's weekly articles which I never read....For some reason I read this one.

I know I am good father but not perfect...This article made me realize the areas of weakness that I should work on.

I hope you enjoy the article.

CLICK HERE
Old 10-28-2010, 10:45 AM
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very good read. i consider myself to be a pretty good dad. I too have moments where i slip and anger too quickly and am always ashamed when looking back at how easy it is to not slip
Old 10-28-2010, 11:18 AM
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It would seem he is suggesting that by disciplining your child you are "breaking" them. What does this guy do when his kid does something really stupid in public? What if his kid's behavior is affecting others?
Probably a wise decision to have kept his child rearing advice to himself in the store. Had he not done so, the title of this could have been Single Dad Crying: "You just broke your nose".
Old 10-28-2010, 12:42 PM
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Tuna,

I think you have missed the point. I believe he is talking about neglect or even walking the fine line of abuse...not discipline.

While I don't believe the two overlap (abuse/neglect and discipline), they certainly can come very close to each-other. It is true, in the Costco situation, we DON'T know what the kid may have done prior to that but that specific incident just seemed to spark an idea in this authors head.

I was once in Academy and I saw a fellow who disciplined his child in public. It was a clean cut family, there was a mother and two children. Someone saw it, called the authorities with just ONE side of a story and this fellow, on a beautiful Saturday afternoon was taken away from his family. I didnt sleep for a week thinking of the father and how in a certain situation with the right circumstances-THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ANYONE-POSSIBLY ME!
Old 10-28-2010, 12:56 PM
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Agreed. The guy might be the most loving and doting father in the world, however minutes prior, the kid might have spit at an old woman or something equally horrible.
Fine to look at the guy and reflect upon YOUR own relationship with YOUR child but to cast judgement based on a one minute observation is not right. Unless someone was physically abusing a child, I can't understand how it could ever cross your mind to insert yourself into the situation.
I can only imagine what my reaction would be if I told my child to stand in one place or else, and someone felt the need to comment on my parenting skills...
Old 10-28-2010, 01:03 PM
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Everybody gets pissed with their kids sometimes. It happens. Another thing not in the article is the Costco dad walking into the parking lot, giving the kid a hug, telling him he's sorry he over-reacted in the store, and going for ice cream.

If my kids get a butt-chewing when cooler heads should have prevailed, they also get an apology and a hug from dad!
Old 10-28-2010, 01:15 PM
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I got a two year old and an almost three month old. Trust me, I almost lose it all the time... but you have know how to control it. It isn't always easy. My wife and I are with the kids almost all day...

I didn't read anything about spiting on a old lady. Tuna, the kid was asking for an ice cream.
Old 10-28-2010, 01:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Tuna Colada View Post
Agreed. The guy might be the most loving and doting father in the world, however minutes prior, the kid might have spit at an old woman or something equally horrible.
Fine to look at the guy and reflect upon YOUR own relationship with YOUR child but to cast judgement based on a one minute observation is not right. Unless someone was physically abusing a child, I can't understand how it could ever cross your mind to insert yourself into the situation.
I can only imagine what my reaction would be if I told my child to stand in one place or else, and someone felt the need to comment on my parenting skills...
How is a religious leader supposed to lead if he/she can't cast judgement?
Old 10-28-2010, 01:19 PM
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Good read...

As the father of twin 6 year old daughters, you learn that every day is priceless. Seems like yesterday when they were born.

I subscribe to two words when it comes to them...and preach them on an [almost] daily basis. Learn. Behave. As long as they follow those two tenants, they will be fine. So far, in my estimation, its working.
Old 10-28-2010, 01:19 PM
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Originally Posted by OldPete View Post
I got a two year old and an almost three month old. Trust me, I almost lose it all the time... but you have know how to control it. It isn't always easy. My wife and I are with the kids almost all day...

I didn't read anything about spiting on a old lady. Tuna, the kid was asking for an ice cream.

I didn't read anything about it either. My point is that the father's reaction to the ice cream question may have been due to something that happened before.
How would you react if someone observing you interact with your kids told you that your parenting skills needed some work? ;?
Old 10-28-2010, 01:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Qb1rdman View Post
How is a religious leader supposed to lead if he/she can't cast judgement?

They can lead their own congregation- not fellow Costco shoppers.
Old 10-28-2010, 01:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Tuna Colada View Post
I can't understand how it could ever cross your mind to insert yourself into the situation.
I can only imagine what my reaction would be if I told my child to stand in one place or else, and someone felt the need to comment on my parenting skills...
Maybe it came out wrong....and I try really really hard to not "be that guy" or cause a scene in public but I have indeed lost it with my son at home who is 4 going on 14. I have later gone back with hugs and apologized but in the moment something else can overtake you.

Let me be clear though, I have never hit my kids. I am not saying that I wouldn't in certain situations if push came to shove but generally speaking my wife and I don't believe in it....just in case someone interpreted my having lost it with my kid as hitting.

Unless I saw someone physically beating a child I in public, I dont mean a swat for bad behavior either....I would stay the F***K out of their business. It doesn't mean that I cant reflect and talk about it later though.
Old 10-28-2010, 02:50 PM
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My mother-in-law (who at times can be a tough pill to swallow) had the following happen:

She was out with my son to a playground. Some kids were playing with a toy (part of the playground) and when they were done with it (moved on to a different part of the playground), my son went over and started playing with that toy. One of the bigger kids came over and shoved my kid out of the way. The bigger kid's mother didn't say anything. So my mother-in-law scolded the bigger kid and the NOW the bigger kid's mother says something about "I'll discipline my own child".

My mother-in-law replied with, "well why don't you start then"?

--

I was VERY proud of her!

We all parent differently, but the article that freedbaby posted should speak to all of us. Our kids watch and learn EVERYTHING we do. Would you like to see your child treat your grandchild like this guy did one day? Probably not.
Old 10-29-2010, 06:29 AM
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coming back to this today. I laughed out loud in my truck an hour after reading this and posting on it. Quick story. I bought a new truck a few months ago and am kind of fanatical about keeping the first new car I have ever owned clean. TO the point i didn't let any one wife included eat or drink in it for the first month. Well that eased up and my daughter brings a cup of milk witha lid and straw every morning for the ride to school. I went to pick her up yesterday and when she got in the truck she sat on the cup spilling warm milk all over the rear seats and carpet. The absolute look of oh s#%came over her face and I couldnt help but laugh out loud at how timely that story was that I had read an hour before and she was so relieved at how I explained that accidents happen and that she could help me clean it when we got home instead of telling her how careful she should have been and all. After all it was just an accident
Old 10-29-2010, 08:18 AM
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Hahahaahah... I know that feeling all too well... you just HAVE to laugh.
Old 10-29-2010, 08:52 AM
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I wondered about this the other day. Have you ever heard anyone say they are a bad parent? Or even admitted to being mediocre at it? ill admit to be being a lousy dog trainer. My dog needlessly barks at people and generally is pretty useless. But every woman I've ever talked to with children say they are a "great mom". How would they know?

With all the messed up people in the world..someone must not be so great at raising kids.
Old 10-29-2010, 09:33 AM
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Then there's the other extreme where parents just don't care what their kids do in public. They scream, run around in the stores and the parents just ignore them. I have a nephew that when younger was a terror in their house, let alone in the public. The father and son came to live with us for a couple of weeks when he went through a divorce. I could only take the nephew's antics for a day until I pulled him aside and told him sternly that he will not act like that in my home.

Some people should not have kids.
Old 10-29-2010, 09:48 AM
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Originally Posted by the good life View Post

Some people should not have kids.
Amen.

Just because you can...doesn't mean you should.
Old 10-29-2010, 09:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Joe View Post
I wondered about this the other day. Have you ever heard anyone say they are a bad parent? Or even admitted to being mediocre at it? ill admit to be being a lousy dog trainer. My dog needlessly barks at people and generally is pretty useless. But every woman I've ever talked to with children say they are a "great mom". How would they know?

With all the messed up people in the world..someone must not be so great at raising kids.
You said it! I love these "Great Moms". Formula, crap food, and no discipline... more concerned with their ugly sunglasses and their Escalade than their kids.
Old 10-29-2010, 10:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Tuna Colada View Post
I didn't read anything about it either. My point is that the father's reaction to the ice cream question may have been due to something that happened before.
How would you react if someone observing you interact with your kids told you that your parenting skills needed some work? ;?
Or he's just a mean spirited prick. I see plenty of guys who have no right to be dads. I don't see any justivication to treat a 6 year old that way, PERIOD !

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