Notices

Coaching Kids Sports

Old 05-23-2010, 07:00 AM
  #1  
Senior MemberCaptains Club Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Troutman, NC
Posts: 873
Default Coaching Kids Sports

I coach a 10u Girls softball team. This is rec ball, not travel ball. My daughter plays on this team. There was a time that I would coach this team without my daughter on the team but that time is gone.

Why does there have to be pain in the ass parents? It's the parents that have 2 girls on the team. The parents have not payed the registration fee for either girl due to tight finances. I payed the registration fee out my pocket so that these sweet little girls could play. $80 per head. And 1 of the girls is not eligible to play 10u because she is only 8. I brought her up to help these parents manage getting both girls to the same practice and game instead of having the parents drive all over the county. The dad doesn't have a job and can't get the girls to the games on time. This screws my line up and batting order for the team, dugout mom, my score keeper and the opposing team's score keeper.

This is frustrating and a poor excuse for parenting. I guess they expect everything handed to them on their own terms.
HardLivin is offline  
Old 05-23-2010, 07:34 AM
  #2  
Senior MemberCaptains Club Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 15,654
Default

Hindsight...after commending you for being such a stand-up guy.

After a lot of years doing similar things and feeling so dumb when I thought I'd been taken advantage of, my current philanthropic mode is to provide a Part of whatever somebody needs. Tell them that you'll match funds, or 60/40 or whatever, but let them know that they have to come up with something, too.

A panhandler becomes an expert at sob stories. A partner becomes motivated to get his chin over the bar.

I guessing here, but roughly two out of three I never hear from again about the handout. They'd rather keep smoking and talking on their PP cell phones...I don't lose sleep about them anymore.
bamaboy473 is offline  
Old 05-23-2010, 07:49 AM
  #3  
Senior MemberCaptains Club Member
PLEDGERPLEDGERPLEDGERPLEDGER
 
Snapper Head's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Republic of West Florida - the ORIGINAL lone star state
Posts: 17,777
Default

I coached T-ball for a number of years, and it was among the most rewarding experiences of my life. There were similar parents, and I simply chose to focus on the kids, so I did whatever it took to get the kids to enrolled, to practice, and to the games. I would pay the sign up fee for at least 5 or 6 kids each season, and would speak with the other parents and solicit help to set up a network that would ensure the kids were able to participate. For the most part, it worked well. The main point was to stress to those parents, and to myself especially, that the kids should be the focus, not the lousy parents. By getting the kids into the sport, and ensuring that they could stay in, we could have a hugely positive effect on their lives, which helps to alleviate much of their negative experience that exists because of mom & dad's (more often, it was single parents) inability to be parents.

Once I made that connection in my head, I never again let the "hassle" bother me. It went from being a hassle, to being a mission of positive influence.

It's about the kids, not about you, me, or the parents.


Big Al
Snapper Head is offline  
Old 05-23-2010, 07:52 AM
  #4  
Senior MemberCaptains Club Member
PLEDGERPLEDGERPLEDGERPLEDGER
 
Snapper Head's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Republic of West Florida - the ORIGINAL lone star state
Posts: 17,777
Default

Additionally, on more than one occasion I have run into some of those kids, who are now young adults, and they have thanked me for what I and the other parents did for them. It both affected, and positively influenced them.


Big Al
Snapper Head is offline  
Old 05-23-2010, 08:33 AM
  #5  
Admirals ClubCaptains Club Member Admiral's Club Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: anderson, sc
Posts: 18,530
Default

You have done the right thing in my book, I coached little league sports from the time my son was 6 until 15 and had a few like that where the parents were having a hard time or just plain out worthless. I always took the approach that some little thing I do or did may effect some of these kids in a good way somewhere down the road and in the years past I have had some of these kids come up to me and tell me thanks for everything I did. That made it all worth it.

Guy I coached with starting in t-ball had a theory to coaching little league sports, "Never expect anything and you will never be disappointed" Woody Thrasher.

Never had terrible teams but we went out and had fun and taught the fundamentals of the game and how to play, mechanics, sportsmanship, work ethic, and best of all to HAVE FUN. Trust me on that last one when it is all over, and it will be quicker than you think, IT IS OVER.

When I had parents like that I could tell it always embarrassed the kids more than anything and I did not want to cause them anymore grief than they already had to deal with
tprice is offline  
Old 05-23-2010, 09:28 AM
  #6  
Senior MemberCaptains Club Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Troutman, NC
Posts: 873
Default

I couldn't agree more. It's only ever about the kids. Nothing more, nothing less. We are there for the girls, not the parents, coaches or the officials.

Hopefully we (the coaches) are making a difference in more aspects other than just softball.
HardLivin is offline  
Old 05-23-2010, 09:30 AM
  #7  
Admirals ClubCaptains Club Member Admiral's Club Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: anderson, sc
Posts: 18,530
Default

Originally Posted by HardLivin View Post
I couldn't agree more. It's only ever about the kids. Nothing more, nothing less. We are there for the girls, not the parents, coaches or the officials.

Hopefully we (the coaches) are making a difference in more aspects other than just softball.
I can tell you are a GREAT little league coach:thum bsup:

Good luck and enjoy it
tprice is offline  
Old 05-23-2010, 09:34 AM
  #8  
Senior MemberCaptains Club Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Sharon Springs, NY
Posts: 4,515
Default

Why does it appear that THT'ers are, as a generalization, better people then I run into in everyday life?
Mike Boehler is offline  
Old 05-23-2010, 09:35 AM
  #9  
Senior MemberCaptains Club Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Troutman, NC
Posts: 873
Default

[quote=bamaboy473;2991527]

A panhandler becomes an expert at sob stories.quote]

Man, you're exactly right. I have never heard so many excuses about why they are late to the games. On Thursday, it was their car broke down 5 times on the way to the game. Really??? 5 times??? BS.

Last week it was he ran out gas on the way to the game. Who runs out of gas these days?

It's always something and then he has to make comments to me about my coaching instructions during a game. His girls get confused. I tell the girls, when it's game time, I'm the only one they listen to. I actually asked all the other parents to deal with him during the game, I was busy with the girls and didn't have time for the BS.
HardLivin is offline  
Old 05-23-2010, 09:38 AM
  #10  
Senior MemberCaptains Club Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Troutman, NC
Posts: 873
Default

Originally Posted by Snapper Head View Post
Additionally, on more than one occasion I have run into some of those kids, who are now young adults, and they have thanked me for what I and the other parents did for them. It both affected, and positively influenced them.


Big Al
I never really thought about it that way before. I hope for the same.
HardLivin is offline  
Old 05-23-2010, 09:44 AM
  #11  
Senior MemberCaptains Club Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Troutman, NC
Posts: 873
Default

Originally Posted by tprice View Post
I can tell you are a GREAT little league coach:thum bsup:

Good luck and enjoy it
And I'm sure you were as well. Tell you what, put a team together and I'll meet you half way on I-85 and we can play each other. I bet our kids would have a great time.
HardLivin is offline  
Old 05-23-2010, 09:56 AM
  #12  
Senior MemberCaptains Club Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Central FL
Posts: 1,201
Default

I coached my oldest son's 4-6 y/o soccer team last year. I had a great time with one exception - I was always coaching, and didn't get to enjoy watching my son having fun playing a game that he loves. He is very good at soccer and football (can't catch a baseball to save his life though). I did enjoy watching the kids develop their skills over the season though.

I had 3 types of kids. The ones who wanted to be there, the ones who didn't care either way (parents made them come) and the ones who watched butterflies. All 3 types got to play, but when I noticed the butterfly watchers losing interest or the 4 year olds getting tired, I swapped them out for the ones who wanted to play.

This last season, I chose not to coach, but to watch. The city got some guy to coach who had never even seen a soccer ball, but his daughter was on the team. He was nice guy, but his philosophy was that every one played an even amount of time, regardless of interest or age. He had the 4 year olds playing a full 10 minute quarter which just exhausted them, while the 6 year old kids were sitting on their butts begging to play. His own daughter didn't want to play, yet he yelled at her to get on the field while 3 other kids begged to go on the field.

At the end of the day, my son broke his collar bone 1 practice after their first game (he did get to score 3 goals though) and couldn't finish the season. He made the statement "but I didn't break my leg, I can still play."

Point of the story - as a coach you will never get the respect that you deserve regardless of how well you do, but the kids will always remember the respect that you showed them.
k9medic is offline  
Old 05-23-2010, 10:22 AM
  #13  
Senior MemberCaptains Club Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: CT
Posts: 18,350
Default

Originally Posted by Mike Boehler View Post
Why does it appear that THT'ers are, as a generalization, better people then I run into in everyday life?
Because you don't really know us...

Well actually I suppose we only present what we want others to see here...

Anyway to the original Poster - Good for you. Those kids will remember you and you will find this more rewarding tha most things you do for $$$$. Keep it child centered - the biggest change I have seen thru the years is its now really all about the parents
LI Sound Grunt is offline  
Old 05-23-2010, 11:26 AM
  #14  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 6,121
Default

Nice thing your doing to the OP. The coach of my girls softball team has "adopted" 4 players,and it has really turned out to be nothing more then a babysitting clinic. The girls dont really want to be there but its a way for the parents to get them out of the house. Game time comes guess who wants equal play for their kids (when they show up), and usually the loudest ones in the stands. These parents put forth little effort,and teach their kids the same thing by their actions. Minimal effort Max reward is what they strive for. These coaches are doin nice things for the children but 10hrs a week on a ballfield isnt goin to outway the 158hrs of their parents "home schooling". It's very frustrating to me.
llord is offline  
Old 05-23-2010, 04:51 PM
  #15  
Senior MemberCaptains Club Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Troutman, NC
Posts: 873
Default

As an aside, I'm not sure when I started spelling paid like this: "payed".... but it had to happen today. I guess I've learned my lessons from these parents and turned into an idiot.......
HardLivin is offline  
Old 05-23-2010, 06:11 PM
  #16  
Senior MemberCaptains Club Member
PLEDGERPLEDGERPLEDGERPLEDGER
 
Snapper Head's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Republic of West Florida - the ORIGINAL lone star state
Posts: 17,777
Default

Originally Posted by HardLivin View Post
As an aside, I'm not sure when I started spelling paid like this: "payed".... but it had to happen today. I guess I've learned my lessons from these parents and turned into an idiot.......
It's okay.

I have been a card carrying idjit for all of my adult life, and I'm still thriving.


Big Al
Snapper Head is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Thread Tools
Search this Thread