Notices

Adopting a child?

Old 01-15-2010, 12:14 PM
  #1  
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Hampton, VA
Posts: 2,134
Default Adopting a child?

I was wondering if anyone here has adopted a child and if so, if you would be willing to share any advice or parts of your experience. I realize this could be very personal, so feel free to PM if you don't want to post publicly.

My wife and I are considering adopting an older child through the state (probably between ages 3 and 12) and I don't know anyone personally who has adopted a child to ask.

Thanks for any information you are willing to share.
theolog is offline  
Old 01-15-2010, 01:22 PM
  #2  
Senior MemberCaptains Club Member
 
bsmit24's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Republic of West Florida
Posts: 17,695
Default

You might do a search of dockside, I remember several threads about adopting but not specifically about older children.
bsmit24 is offline  
Old 01-15-2010, 04:05 PM
  #3  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 10,223
Default

Originally Posted by theolog View Post
I was wondering if anyone here has adopted a child and if so, if you would be willing to share any advice or parts of your experience. I realize this could be very personal, so feel free to PM if you don't want to post publicly.

My wife and I are considering adopting an older child through the state (probably between ages 3 and 12) and I don't know anyone personally who has adopted a child to ask.

Thanks for any information you are willing to share.
I'll touch on it for you. My wife and I are what is called foster adopt parents in NJ. We've been looking to adopt for a couple of years now and it is an emotional roller coaster ride.

Unless you find a child that is "Legaly free" for adoption it can be a nightmare. Our first was going through the adoption process, we had her for months when her maternal grand mother stepped up and petitioned the court for her. Of course she won. We (3 weeks ago) got a 3 day old baby girl that the mother does not want. All wrapped up as the state put it. well now bio mom claims she has a couple that she wants the child placed with. this couple is not certified but will undergo training and all, meanwhile we have to wait and see what happens.

What really happened is they dropped some money in this dope addicts lap and now she wants a spicific couple, not us. Against the law? Yes. Prove your point, real hard to do.

So my advice is to go for "legaly free" of nothing. Leagly free and normal is hard to come by, we've been looking. If you need help searching let me know I can forward you some web sites to start your search with photos and full background studies.

Many agencies do not return calls or e-mails, the system is in need of an overhaul for sure.

Let me know, anything I can do.

08087

PS you must understand that many of these ckildren will have emotional issues. Picture being ripped away from the only family you've known your entire life and coming out normal. Sibling groups are a bit easier to get if you'd like an instant family.
08087 is offline  
Old 01-15-2010, 04:56 PM
  #4  
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Hampton, VA
Posts: 2,134
Default

Originally Posted by 08087 View Post
Unless you find a child that is "Legaly free" for adoption it can be a nightmare.
Right. The kids we would consider are all already at that point, in the system, and don't have homes. They are only listed when they reach that point. We are not interested in fostering for just the reasons you stated!

Originally Posted by 08087 View Post
So my advice is to go for "legaly free" of nothing. Leagly free and normal is hard to come by, we've been looking. If you need help searching let me know I can forward you some web sites to start your search with photos and full background studies...you must understand that many of these ckildren will have emotional issues. Picture being ripped away from the only family you've known your entire life and coming out normal.
Oh yes, we're fully aware of that. We know that most kids will have at least mild to moderate disabilities of some sort and they are forthcoming with that information. We feel called to assist where the need is the greatest, and we are aware of the risks involved.

Originally Posted by 08087 View Post
Many agencies do not return calls or e-mails, the system is in need of an overhaul for sure.
We've had GREAT luck there. Because we are open to adopting children over age two and non-Caucasian kids, we get connected and called back immediately.

Originally Posted by 08087 View Post
Sibling groups are a bit easier to get if you'd like an instant family.
We are considering that as well. There is a boy we have been interested in for over 6 months now, but we know nothing of his sister. They would prefer for them to be adopted together.

Thanks for all the information!!!
theolog is offline  
Old 01-16-2010, 05:03 PM
  #5  
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 19
Default

The log,

havent posted in months. my username used to be sweetpea...forgot password and changed email addresses; that's why this is post #1.

My wife and I adopted a daughter 6 yrs. and 1 month ago. Could not be happier.

First order of business. Get a lawyer that specializes in adoptions (not a buddy or uncle Joe wh happens to be a lwayer).

The rules are different state to state as are interstate adoptions.

08087 made good points....i.e you should probably decide what path you are going to take adn know going in. Fostering is quicker, but carries more emotional risk as the opportunity of the child being taken away is greater. AS I said earlier; your lawyer should walk you through all of hte decisions. If he/she isnt knowledgeable (find another one)

PM or email me if you have any other questions.

Kind regards and godspeed.
sweetpea1 is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Thread Tools
Search this Thread