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Pretty girl's letter to JP Morgan CEO

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Pretty girl's letter to JP Morgan CEO

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Old 11-05-2009, 08:49 PM
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Default Pretty girl's letter to JP Morgan CEO

Amazing reply by J.P. Morgan CEO to a Pretty girl
A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:


Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?


I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)

2) Which age group should I target?

3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)


Ms. Pretty


Awesome reply:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of 'beauty' and 'money': Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a 'trading position'. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or 'leased'. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool..


Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in 'leasing' services, do contact me....

Signed,
CEO
J.P. Morgan
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Old 11-05-2009, 08:55 PM
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Original version

This post appeared on Craigslist as a classic that hit the frontpage of thousands of websites worldwide. Apparently, a supposedly beautiful 25-year-old woman was trying her luck on Craigslist...

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York . I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.


Wall Street banker Rob Campbell (Employed by JP Morgan) gave our girl a shake that she'll never forget. =)

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity!in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold "hence the rub"marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
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Old 11-05-2009, 08:57 PM
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Riiiiight.

Grammar of question is exponentially better than grammar of reply - so hang on a minute and I'll send you off a prospectus of some land I am selling down here in Florida.
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Old 11-06-2009, 08:02 AM
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Originally Posted by wildgeechi View Post
Original version

This post appeared on Craigslist as a classic that hit the frontpage of thousands of websites worldwide. Apparently, a supposedly beautiful 25-year-old woman was trying her luck on Craigslist...
I saw this original version a few years ago and have been since looking for it. Thanks for posting it! Another personal favorite: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/oma/581897835.html
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Old 05-23-2012, 10:13 PM
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Originally Posted by jennykkk View Post
I am free for two weeks from June 15th to the 30th. Please send a picture so I know what you look like.
Ok so I got the part where she's free for a couple of weeks, but why does she need a picture.....so she can determine how much she is going to charge for any addition time spent with you?
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Old 05-24-2012, 05:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Garett View Post
Ok so I got the part where she's free for a couple of weeks, but why does she need a picture.....so she can determine how much she is going to charge for any addition time spent with you?

LOL..where did you quote that from???????????????
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Old 05-25-2012, 04:09 AM
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That girl has the wrong idea, pure and simple.

The trick is not to bang a guy who makes $500K/year. She should bang 50 guys who make $10K/year. Those guys are much easier to find, probably more willing to engage and, when one of them disappoints, easier to replace.
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Old 05-25-2012, 05:12 AM
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A dude with that kind of money could do two chicks at one time.
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Old 05-25-2012, 08:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Johnny Dreamer View Post
A dude with that kind of money could do two chicks at one time.

Not all chicks dig money. The kind of chicks that would double up on a guy like me do. Good point.

The whole movie was great but that exchange was particularly funny.
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